Total Drama Island(Fanfiction Version)
by Dinolion92
Summary: After the events of the first season, Chris renews the series for a second season, with a far larger cast, including more than just a bunch of teens... 62 new campers(from Darth Vader to Spongebob Squarepants) now compete in this season of Total. Drama. Island! Collaborative project with Liam Holman and LionKingIsAwesome!
1. 1, Not Much Team Spirit

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Yo! Chris McClain, coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa somewhere in Ontario, dropping the hottest new reality show on television!" Chris, the host said dramatically while standing on a dock.

"Here's the deal," he said with a sadistic smirk. "Fifty new campers, plus ten of the originals, have signed up to spend a few months at this crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, and have to face the judgement of their fellow campers."

Chris began to walk down the dock. "Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their teammates walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Boat of Losers, and leave the Island for good!"

He stopped. "Their fate will be decided here, at the bonfire ceremonies, where each week, all but one camper will receive a marshmallow, and in the end, the last one standing will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame that _some _will probably blow in a week!"

He turned to the camera. "To survive, they'll have to survive bugs, bears, and bad food! Who will crumble under the pressure? Find out here on this season of Total," the camera panned out a bit. "Drama," the full camp was in view now.

"Island!"

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*Theme Song*

"Okay, sadistic viewers, welcome back!" Chris greeted. "Time to meet the first ten campers. We told them they'd be staying at a five star resort, so if they seem a bit ticked, that's why."

The boat pulled up, with an anthropomorphic dinosaur looking around with a slight, annoyed expression. "Welcome, Big C, glad the Empire sent one of it's best commanders here."

Carandial groaned. "Don't call me that human." He snapped, walking off with his backpack. "You're _lucky_ the Emperor is watching this show!"

Before Chris could respond to that, _another _boat pulled up, with yet another contestant. Johnny Cage, famous Hollywood actor, and all around cocky joker, stepped onto the dock. He gave Chris a fist bump and questioned,

"My man! Chris McClain! How's the reality show biz treating ya?"

"Absolutely amazing, my man! Welcome to the island!"

"Right on!" Johnny Cage exclaimed as he walked over and stood by Carandial. He held out his fist, offering a fist bump. "What's up, dude?"

Carandial sighed, and responded by reluctantly fist bumping Johnny.

"Yeah!" Johnny Cage obnoxiously exclaimed, causing Carandial to sigh.

"Alright, and up next, we have the definition of family drama, give it up for Thor and Loki Odinson!"

Emerging from the Tesseract, said Asgardian and Frost Giant walked out.

"The Bifrost is still more entertaining, brother," Thor claimed.

"I just wanted to get here, get it over with and go home," Loki replied.

"Oh trust me, you're going to be here a while. Or a few hours at most if you piss off your fellow campers." Chris said with a chuckle.

"Oh, I think you'll find I have a certain charisma," Thor boasted.

_*Confession Cam*_

"I can already tell this is going to be a fun few months..." Carandial muttered.

_*Confession Cam*_

"I can already tell this is going to be a _fun _few months!" Johnny Cage exclaimed, instead with legitimate excitement. "I mean, I got my boy, _Chris_, as the host.. I get to meet hot _babes_! Oh man! Let's go!"

*_End Confession Cam_*

"Up next, we have a very special contestant joining us! He's the Emperor of Outworld, and quite the badass! Let's give it up for Shere Khan!"

All of a sudden, Chris was grabbed by his neck, and lifted into the air.

"Silence, _mortal_!" Shao Kahn demanded in his deep, demanding voice. "I am _Shao _Kahn! You would be wise to hold your _tongue_.."

With that, Shao Kahn dropped Chris to the ground, as he stomped towards the other campers, his weight shaking the dock with each step.

"Oh man! It's Shao Kahn!" Johnny Cage whisper-yelled. He had had his share of experiences with him in the past. Johnny had no _idea _people that _he _knew personally would be coming on as contestants as well..

"You should have snapped his neck completely." Carandial chuckled.

Loki rolled his eyes at that remark.

"Too merciful a punishment for one so.. _annoying_.." Shao Kahn replied to Carandial, holding his giant hammer over his shoulder.

"Ack! It took me _hours _to get my hair just right for the cameras..." Chris muttered.

"Alright, now up next we have-"

"AGH! Ah.. Oh God.." Eric Cartman cut Chris off, crawling onto the dock in a sweat. "Jesus _Christ_, how _hot _is it out here?" He then looked at the state of the camp. "And what the *bleep* is _this _dump!?"

"Yeah, we lied about the five star hotel. You signed the contract, so join your other campers up there."

"Oh, _weak_.." Cartman rolled his eyes, finally managing to get to his feet. "Faggot ass *bleep*.."

"_Careful_!" Chris exclaimed. "Those beeps cost _money_!"

"Also, from South Park, everybody welcome Kyle Broflovski, the _only _Jew in this camp!"

"Wouldn't be the _first _time Jews were in a camp.." Cartman chuckled to himself.

"SHUT YOUR *BLEEP* MOUTH YOU FAT *BLEEP*!" A high pitched voice yelled. Said redhead Jew disembarked from the boat.

"Goddammit! I have to be stuck with _him_?!" Kyle asked Chris.

"Aaand there goes our budget for censorship.." Chris sighed, rolling his eyes. He then shrugged.

"Whatever.."

Carandial rolled his eyes at this. "Of course we're stuck with _children_..."

"You are _all _children.." Shao Kahn cut in. "I have been around for _millenia_! You are but mere _toddlers _in comparison.."

"I'm sorry, but one thousand five hundred years is beyond adolescence, let alone infancy," Thor argued.

Shao Kahn aggressively turned to Thor.

"It would not be the _first _time I beat a _thunder god _to mere pulp.. I would choose my words _carefully_ if I were you.." Shao Kahn said.

"Okay, I'm just going to pretend you didn't say that," Loki sighed.

"You would be wise.." Shao Kahn turned away.

Johnny Cage then facepalmed, muttering to himself,

"_Please _God let there be hot chicks.. I don't wanna have to stare at Shao Kahn, a lizard, and Raiden number _two _over here the entire time.."

"Up next, we have _another _contestant from South Park, give it up for Bebe Stevens!"

Seeing the sight of this next contestant caused Johnny Cage to _actually _take off his sunglasses.

"_Hello_!" Johnny Cage exclaimed. "The Elder Gods have spoken!" He then whistled at her. "She is _hot_.."

Bebe didn't say much as she stepped on the dock. She only gave a disgusted look to Johnny Cage as she stood beside Kyle.

"Aw come _on_.." Johnny Cage sighed. "She'll come around.." He then tried reassuring himself confidently. "They _always _do.."

"You know you're talking to yourself, right?" Kyle said sardonically.

"I'm sorry.." Johnny Cage cockily began to say, lifting his sunglasses down half-way. "Who are you again?"

Kyle responded by flipping him off, and just staring in the other direction. Cartman _actually _laughed at what Kyle just did.

"Man.." Cartman laughed. "I gotta admit.. If there's one thing I hate more than Jews, it's Hollywood _hippies_.. Good one, Kyle!"

"What? But I'm not a hip-" Johnny Cage began, before sighing, and lifting his sunglasses back up. "Man.. Tough crowd.."

"Can you just be quiet for five seconds?" Carandial asked.

"No I can't.." Johnny Cage said. "I could ask the same question to _you_, Sunshine.. Who the fuck are _you_? Kinda hypocritical you're telling me to be quiet, but yet you decided to open your mouth.."

That got him a punch in the face from a _very _annoyed Carandial.

"Oh! That's gonna leave a mark!" Chris said, wincing. "I love it."

"Such _childish _antics.." Shao Kahn sighed. "Get on with the next contestant! Before I decide to invade this realm!"

"Alright, now apparently the laws of time and space screwed up, but anyway, we have a real treat for y'all southerners out there! Give it up for General Robert E. Lee!"

Said Confederate General disembarked, before looking at the group. "Good day." He greeted, tipping his hat slightly as he joined the others.

Kyle cocked a brow. "Brings back memories, doesn't it fatass?" He said to Cartman, reminding him of when Cartman started a second civil war.

"Y'know, Kyle.." Cartman began to rub his head with a sigh. "I'm not even gonna respond to that.. That Hollywood hippie is already giving me _enough _of a headache without you helping him.."

"For the _last _time! I'm _not_ a-" Johnny Cage began to say, before Chris cut him off.

"Up next, we welcome _another _Emperor! Give it up for the Master of the Galactic Empire, Palpatine!"

A hooded figure stepped from the boat. He looked around. "I've been waiting a long time for this moment...I thank you for your _generous _promise should I win..." He said to Chris.

"This _is _quite a fine planet. It would make an _amazing _addition to my Empire."

"Think _again_, you weak, pathetic _fool_!" Shao Kahn exclaimed in his usual deep, demanding voice. "This realm is _mine_! _I _shall be the victor!"

As Palpy McScrotum Face and Angry Eyes began to argue, another contestant flew in via his repulsor jets. Iron-Man landed on the dock soon after.

"Oh, God, what is this place? I was promised white sands, no discernible difference between the sky and the sea. Instead, you dragged me to a shitty little islet further than any helicopter could fly here!" Tony complained.

"Their budget was focused on the names rather than the location, boss," F.R.I.D.A.Y. commented.

"Up next, we have...just an average teen who just happened to sign up, even though he has more than enough money because of his parents. Why he chose to join us, I have no idea, but hey, he _must _be insane."

Kyle rolled his eyes, but upon seeing the newcomer, his eyes widened.

A young teen with brown hair, blue eyes, an average build, with slight muscles, and around six feet tall.

Cartman noticed Kyle's expression almost immediately,

"Oh this is _too _perfect!" Cartman exclaimed, a wicked smirk coming onto his face. "The Jew is a _queer_!"

Jack stopped as he looked at the group. "Um...hi..." He said nervously.

"Sup bro!" Johnny Cage held out his fist. "Johnny Cage!"

"Hey." Jack said with a slight smile, giving a fist bump.

Kyle blushed slightly as Jack stood beside him.

"Up next, we have an interesting group.. Three middle aged friends _wayy _down South in Arlen, Texas! Give a 'yee-haw' to Hank Hill, Dale Gribble, and Bill Dauterive!" Chris introduced.

"Yeah!"

"Woo!"

Those two things had been exclaimed simultaneously by Bill and Dale, who had an Alamo beer can in their hands. They clearly looked ready to have fun and to compete.

"Boy I tell ya h'wat.." Hank Hill began, also holding an Alamo beer and looking at the state of the camp. "Canada is an even _bigger _dump than in the vidyas I've seen.."

"Now, let's give it up for some people ol' Sparky and Metal Man might know,"

Tony and Thor perked up slightly, having not expected any other familiar individuals to partake.

"Let's give it up for Steve Rogers, Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes, and Natasha Roman-something.!"

"Wow, I thought it wasn't possible for our on-the-run accommodation to be surpassed in shitness. I was wrong," Natasha commented.

"And up next, we have the popular American cartoon characters who have dominated Nickelodeon for the past twenty years, SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick!"

"Yay!" SpongeBob immediately yelled. "What a _beautiful _day for-"

"Uh, SpongeBob?.." Patrick began.

"Yes, buddy?" SpongeBob asked.

"We're not doing that Season 7 bullshit.. Act like yourself."

"Oh, we're not?" SpongeBob questioned. "Thank, _Neptune_!"

"Can't believe we're back on the surface again." Squidward said. "I mean.. Remember what happened _last _time we-"

"And up next, the popular Mortal Kombat kharacters, Kung Lao, Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Jade, Liu Kang, Raiden, Kung Lao, and Kitana!"

They all walked onto the dock and into the line, nothing more. They all appeared to be very disciplined. However, Raiden couldn't help but send a glare Shao Kahn's way. They had all come here for _one _reason.. To make sure Shao Kahn didn't succeed here.

Johnny Cage now stood by the rest of his friends.

"What's up, guys! _Man_, is it good to see you he-"

"Silence, Cage." Raiden said. "Remember.. 'like a shadow'.." He had referenced back to a past conversation they had. Or in simpler terms, he told him to shut the fuck up.

Johnny Cage simply sighed, scooting a bit closer to Kitana and Jade.

"Hello, ladies.. Mind if I-"

"If you flirt with me _or _Kitana, so help me I kill kill you where you stand.." Jade warned.

Johnny Cage immediately scooted in the opposite direction, his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay.." Johnny Cage relented. "Tough luck today.." He sighed.

Before Chris could call the next group to the dock, Scorpion stepped forward and demanded in his voice of brimstone,

"What is the meaning of this treachery!?" There was a slight pause, as he pulled out his sword. "This so called 'camp' makes even the _Netherrealm _look like a resort!"

"I have to agree.." Sub-Zero added.

"Could you kill this imbecile even _if _he doesn't flirt with either of you?" Carandial asked Jade. "I already hate him."

"Gee, thanks buddy.." Johnny Cage rolled his eyes.

"It is unnecessary.." Jade told Carandial. She then looked Johnny up and down. "Or so I once _thought_.."

"Lord Raiden.." Liu Kang began. "What are we to do?"

"Yes, he is here.. Just as we thought he would be." Kung Lao added. He was clearly referring to Shao Kahn.

"Follow the discount actor's terms, and make sure Shao Kahn does not succeed.." Raiden simply said, referring to Chris.

"We will do our best, Raiden.." Kitana said with a respectful bow.

"As will we." Liu Kang said, as he and Kung Lao bowed.

"Up next, we have a _special _pair joining us! We'd like to thank Jurassic World for sponsoring us, so therefore, we'd like to welcome Owen Grady and Blue the raptor to the island!"

As if on cue, said trainer and his beta raptor disembarked. "I get the ability to talk _just _for this shitshow?" Blue quipped.

"Apparently." Owen muttered.

"And up next, we have a _special _group of contestants arriving, the Doctor, the Master, and Rose Tyler!"

"Tell me, why did you come along?" the Tenth Doctor asked the Master.

"Oh, you think I'd miss another opportunity to best you? I don't care if it's petty. That's our fate," the Master replied.

The Doctor sighed. "That is too true. I always stop you, you come back, but if I were to stop, the Universe would permanently suffer," the Doctor said.

"C'mon, Doctor! It might turn out to be fun!" Rose smiled.

"And up next, we have Alex Pearson and Cate Lee-Young! A couple who are _totally _not into each other! As well as a prince of the Pridelands, Simba, the god of death, Ibilisi, and Sam Wilson, a token black character in the Avengers."

"Man, shut the fuck up," the Falcon flipped him off.

"Um… okay," Alex chuckled.

"Eh, this isn't half bad. The islet is poor, but the weather is marvellous!" Cate commented.

"And, up next, a teen who wants to win the money for his family back home! Give it up for Drew King!"

A lot like Bebe earlier on, Drew didn't say too much when he stepped onto the dock. He took one look at the camp, and didn't appear _as _disappointed as everyone else. After all, he was used to living a lower middle class lifestyle.

Even still, though, none of them had seen _anything _yet..

Drew had a slightly above average, muscular build, with dirty blond hair at medium length, fair skin, and sky blue eyes. He also stood at about 6 foot 3 inches tall.

"Hey, Drew! Welcome!" Chris said.

"Thanks.." Drew slightly smiled. "Good to be here." With that, he stood beside Jack, the South Park group, and the Mortal Kombat Earthrealmers. He looked to his left, and saw Bebe who was looking at him. He gave her a friendly smile, which prompted her to do the same.

He now looked to his right, and saw the Earthrealmers from Mortal Kombat. They all gave him a nod of acknowledgement and greeting.

"Sup bro," Johnny Cage held out his fist _once _again, this time to Drew. "Johnny Cage.. Nice to meet ya!"

"Sup, Johnny.." Drew chuckled slightly, returning the fist bump. "Man, I wonder how this show is gonna go.. The concept sounded cool, but.."

"As long as Shao Kahn is not the victor, as well as perhaps a few others.. then everything should be alright." Raiden responded.

"Shao Kahn?.." Drew questioned. He looked over at the Emperor, who stood over 7 feet tall. He stood completely still, an aggressive look on his face. He was composed, but still appeared really impatient.

Drew now looked back to Raiden, who himself probably stood at 7 feet _exactly_..

"Yeah.. He sure _looks _mean. I'll say that."

"You have no idea." Liu Kang replied, before Chris introduced the next group of campers.

"Okay!" Chris stretched. "We're in the _home _stretch now, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Now, why don't we welcome the last group before our _special _contestants arrive?"

"Proconsul Apollo of the Republic, dumbass dads Randy Marsh, Homer Simpson, Penguin Commando Skipper, self-proclaimed Lemur King Julien, Grand Mandator Deoclet Caesarius, Darth Vader, Jedi in training Luke Skywalker, and Grand Mandator Erissare!"

"What the _fuck _is this place!?" Randy Marsh exclaimed.

"Looks like a dump..." Erissare said with a sigh.

"Uh.. Ontario?" Chris hesitantly responded.

"Oh I'm sorry! I thought this was America!" Randy Marsh yelled once again in disappointed patriotism, before storming over to where he saw familiar faces.

"I THOUGHT THIS WAS _FRANCE_!" King Julien yelled.

"And...General Zillum." Chris added.

Carandial, Caesarius, and Apollo all froze on that, before looking to see their old enemy step off the boat, looking at the group. "This is going to be _easy_..." He said with a smirk. "Weaklings, prostitutes, wannabes and children..."

"Don't make me laugh.." Shao Kahn remarked.

"And, last but not least, we have ten _original _campers, give it up for Harold, Bridgette, Heather, Lindsey, Trent, Duncan, Gwen, Owen, DJ, and Leshawna!"

"Wicked!" Harold said in excitement. The Napoleon Dynamite wanna-be _clearly_ looked ready to be back to show off his 'mad' skills!

"I can't _believe _we're back here..." Gwen muttered.

"For once.." Heather began. "I agree with _Goth _Girl.."

"Alright, all sixty campers accounted for! Now, meet us at the Cafeteria in three hours for lunch _and_, your first _challenge_!"

"YEAH!" Owen yelled.

"FIRST CHALLENGE!"

No-one else seemed to share his enthusiasm.

"What have I gotten myself into?.." Squidward sighed.

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"BLEGHH!" Cartman spat, disgusted at a bitter taste in his mouth. Everyone was currently in the cafeteria 'eating' their food. "What the fuck is this _shit_? It's terrible!"

"You don't like it, you can eat the _leftovers_." Chef declared, pointing to the festering trash can. "Hell, not having a meal at _all_ might help you out, tubby."

With that, he grabbed Cartman's tray and tossed it out the window.

"Aw, weak!" Cartman yelled, clearly not happy about that.

Kyle smirked. "Oh, that's _rough_..." He said.

"You would _know _what rough is like, wouldn't you Kyle?.. Fucking fag Jew.." Cartman countered.

Kyle blanched at that, before flipping him off. "Aw, leave him alone..." Jack muttered, annoyed at Cartman's antics.

"Oh, sorry.. I'm sorry.." Cartman held his hands up in a mocking apologetic tone. "I promise I won't bother your _boyfriend _anymore.."

"Oh shut up!" Zillum growled.

"Make me, lizard bitch!" Cartman yelled in a rage.

Apollo facepalmed.

Zillum stopped, before getting up, walking over, and towering over Cartman, glaring at him with blood red eyes.

Cartman's expression and confidence immediately shrunk. He then looked down,

"Aw fuck.."

Zillum smirked. "That's what I thought you fat little prick."

As that transpired, Drew looked on, along with the Earthrealmers.

"Gotta love how civilized things are, already.." Drew sarcastically remarked.

"Indeed.." Liu Kang nodded in agreement.

Before Drew turned back, he caught yet another glimpse at that blonde headed chick from earlier.. Bebe..

He had to admit, there was just something _about _her! Johnny Cage seemed to have the same idea, as he lowered his sunglasses slightly as he looked over at her.

"Man.. What I wouldn't give to-"

Johnny Cage immediately stopped talking when Raiden glared at him with narrowed eyes. Johnny Cage then nervously chuckled.

"Right.. My bad. I'm just sayin-"

"And that's the problem." Kitana retorted, cutting him off.

"Ouch.." Kung Lao smirked, as Johnny Cage huffed.

"Whatever.." Johnny Cage muttered, going back to picking at the slop on his food tray.

"Aww...you said there would be _donuts_!" Homer whimpered.

"And _beer_!" Bill whimpered, appearing to have withdrawals.

"And _cigarettes_!" Dale yelled as well, beginning to sound like a crazy man. He hopped on top of the table and yelled out, "I need my _cigs_!"

"Sit down, you giblet head.." Hank Hill told Dale, beginning to pull him down.

The door opened, and Chris walked in. "Alright, after making sure that the interns, yes, including the one in critical condition, will recover in a few years, we have finally figured out your first challenge!"

"YEAH! FIRST CHALLENGE!" Owen yelled.

"What this time?" Duncan asked.

"Probably something stupid.." Bridgette rolled her eyes slightly.

"But first, we gotta divide up the teams." Chris said.

"Jack, Kyle, Johnny Cage, Carandial, Clint Barton, Zillum, Bebe, Owen _Grady_, Kung Loud-"

"The name is Kung _Lao_!" Kung Lao corrected Chris, raising his voice a little bit. Though he didn't freak out, as he was a Shaolin, and they kept their emotions in check most of the time.

"Apollo, Bill Dauterive, Skipper, Dale, Patrick, Kitana, Duncan, Gwen, DJ, Leshawna, Alex, Cate, the Master, the Doctor, Tony, Thor, Loki, Simba, Homer, and the butterball-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GODDAMN FLOPPY HEAD CANADIAN!" Cartman went off on Chris.

"Man, you are some kind of crazy..." Leshawna groaned.

"Pft.." Cartman said, rolling his eyes. "Whatever.. Fucking black-"

"You better _watch _it, pal!" Harold yelled at Cartman, pointing a finger at him and assuming a karate stance. "Lest you be struck down by my totally wicked and _mad _skills.."

Cartman couldn't help but suppress laughter. Harold paid him no mind, instead standing on one foot now.

"Crane style!" Harold yelled. "Cuh _caw_!" He then sent a few fast, yet weak looking 'intimidation' kicks Cartman's way.

"'Cuh caw'?" Dale questioned. "That's a _falcon_, you dumbass!"

"Wait, h'wat?.." Hank began to say, cocking a brow. "A falc-" He then sighed, deciding it was best to just give it up.

"Guys, calm down!" Apollo said, getting between them. "Let's just get this stupid challenge over with."

"Agreed.." Scorpion said in his usual hellish sounding voice. "I grow _tired _of these childish games! You will speak, and you will _move _this along!" Scorpion demanded to Chris.

"Um, that was it, Spider," Chris replied. "Those I just called out, you are, the Screaming Bass."

"AGHH!" Scorpion yelled out, flames now beginning to surround him. He took off his face, now revealing his _true _face, which was a flaming skull. Scorpion began to stomp towards Chris, but Sub-Zero, Liu Kang, and Kung Lao _all _had to hold him back. "You will show _respect_, mortal!" Scorpion growled, his voice sounding even _more _demonic now that his true face was exposed.

"Yeah, about that," Chris snapped his fingers, and the flames extinguished. "I talked to your Elder God friends, as well as the Force, the Emperor and all the stuff you guys have as powers. For the rest of the season, unless I say so, no powers for _anyone_."

Shao Kahn burst out into evil laughter.

"You fool.." He began. "I do not _heed _to what the _Elder _Gods desire.. They are _weak_! They will bow to _me _before-"

"Onaga _also_ made a deal with us. If _you_ lose, he gets back the title of Emperor. If you win, you get your powers back."

"What!?" Shao Kahn exclaimed. "Onaga _lives_?" He then sighed with a growl, deciding to give in. "_Fine_.. I shall follow your ludicrous requirements.. I _shall _be the Victor! And I _shall _send that faux Emperor back to the void of death and darkness.."

Zillum rolled his eyes. "Get on with it you walking hair gel advertisement. What is our challenge?"

"Before the new challenge, those who I did _not _call, are the Killer Gophers. And, for our first challenge..."

Everyone waited with bated breath.

Suddenly, Chris and Chef put on gas masks, and the sleeping gas began to fill the room.

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When they awoke, half of both teams were missing. "What the hell's going on?" Jack asked, before a TV went on, and a loud, maniacal laugh filled the room.

"_Greetings_, campers! Joker here!" The Joker introduced with a wicked grin. "_Why _am I on some discount Canadian game show? Who _knows_! That's the _fun_! HAHAHA!"

"What is the meaning of this?" Zillum asked.

"I'm glad you _asked_, lizard lips!" The Joker excitedly said. "So here's the rundown.. The Joker, _that's me_, has kidnapped _half _of each team! You guys who _haven't _been captured by me will be known as the heroes!" His face then appeared sullen. "I know.. Pretty boring.."

He then perked up once again.

"And the _other _half of the team, the captured ones, are called the _damsels_! The team who rescues the _most _damsels in the set amount of time, is the winner! The team who _doesn't_?"

The Joker then made a cutting noise with his mouth as he slid his finger across his neck.

"HAHAHA!" The Joker laughed, causing the 'heroes' to gasp.

"You're gonna _kill _us!?" Kyle asked with widened eyes.

"What? _No_! I just mean you _lose_, and one of you will get voted off the show! Whatever gave you _that_ idea? HAHA!" There was a slight pause, before The Joker finished, "Oh well.. Anyways, your time starts now. Happy searching! HAHAHA!"

With that, the TV turned off, leaving the heroes alone.

"Yup, each of you heroes has been assigned a damsel. You can only bring back your own damsel, and..."

Chris began to snicker.

"You have to _carry _them back."

"SAY WHAT?!" Half of the people yelled.

"Well who did we _get_!?" Drew asked with widened eyes, still in shock over that little twist.

"Here, is the list of your little damsels, and each has been placed in a secret location on the island. You will find your little damsel here, and a clue to their hiding place. Oh, and here are some things you'll need to fight off the Joker's minions, trust me, you'll _need _it," Chris laughed, while Chef brought out a bunch of toy lightsabers, nerf guns and a few other toy weapons.

"This is _ridiculous_!" Shao Kahn exclaimed. "I can just use my _Hammer _and-"

"Yeah, we replaced it with a rubber duck." Chris replied.

"You _WHAT_!?" Shao Kahn yelled.

"And you have until 4:00, Eastern Standard Time to find your damsel, before," Chris made the same motion Joker did.

"You'll find your damsel here," with that, Chris left the room.

Jack looked at the note. Apparently, he got Kyle.

Zillum clenched his fist upon seeing who _he _got. "Oh, when this is over I'm ripping Chris' head off." He snarled.

"_Heather_!?" Shao Kahn questioned, squinting his eyes. "What is a 'Heather'?"

"Oh, _good luck_.." Duncan said, genuinely feeling sorry for Shao Kahn.

"Do not fear my master, I won't fail you." Vader declared.

"Woo!" SpongeBob exclaimed. "I get to rescue _Squidward_!" He then did a salute, and said in his deeper 'Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy' voice, "Fear not, Squidward! SpongeBob is _on _the way!"

"Three and a half hours until the challenge ends. Better get on it." Chris said on the loudspeaker.

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The two teams decided to split up among themselves, and began to walk out into the wilderness that resided on the island.

They each looked down at the list they had been given, before Raiden commented,

"I must say, I'm not _used _to going without my usual abilities.. Normally I could have teleported myself to his location and neutralized him by now.."

"I'll have to agree with you, thunder god.." Scorpion said. "I feel.. _strange_.. Perhaps much, calmer? Maybe not using my cursed abilities won't _be _such a bad-"

Scorpion was cut off when an acorn fell on top of his head.

"AGHH! What-"

Scorpion looked up, hearing the barking laughter from the squirrels up above. All of a sudden, Scorpion's temper almost _immediately _came back.

"You insignificant rodents! I will _end _yo-"

"Restraint, Scorpion!" Raiden said, trying to calm him down. "Let us continue on and get this ridiculous affair over with.."

Scorpion clenched his fists, taking a deep breath. He knew deep down that Raiden was right.

"Come on, they _have _to be somewhere, I mean, it _did _say they were on this part of the island." Luke pointed out.

"I must ask, did anyone _else _kinda just...get _sent _here? _I _don't recall signing up for this..." Caesarius said.

"Well, I signed up.. Me and my family kind of need the money." Drew said, cocking a brow. "You mean you guys _didn't_?.."

Liu Kang shook his head.

"No.. In our case," He then motioned to all of the Earthrealm heroes that were present. "the Earthrealmers' case, we heard that Shao Kahn had decided to invade the Earth once more through some '_loophole' _of sorts in the Elder Gods' stipulations.. We kept close tabs on him, and we all ended up here.."

Raiden nodded, adding,

"Yes.. This _appears _to be Earthrealm.. Though a rather _strange _version of it.. A _different_ version of it, perhaps? Who knows.. It's still really strange to me.."

"It is..." Luke said in agreement.

"All I'll say is that Canadian fella, Chris, sure is an _idyit_.." Hank Hill commented. "He can really make things asinine! I was about _this _close to kicking his ass.." Hank then held his fingers _super _close, to drive home his point.

"When this ends, I'm eviscerating him." Blue growled. "Not eating him though. I don't eat junk food."

"Good one.." Drew smirked.

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"So...we actually have to _carry _our damsels…?" Jack asked.

"Don't remind me." Owen Grady muttered.

"Ouch, bro.. You literally got the _tubbiest _dude on the team!" Johnny Cage commented. "Well.. besides that asshole who keeps calling me 'hippie'.. He could give him a run for his money.."

"Yes, indeed he could..." Zillum sighed. He stopped, before holding up his hand.

"The clown's henchmen.." Kung Lao began, assuming a fighting stance. "They surround us.."

Out of nowhere, a ball of _acid _was quickly shot towards the team, nearly burning their skin off.

"_Reptile_!" Kung Lao said with narrowed eyes, knowing only _he _was capable of such an attack.

Reptile then revealed himself, reverting from his invisibility. The creature stood at 6 feet tall and had a ninja mask on. He was dressed in pure _green_, and was clearly a reptilian being.

Zillum narrowed his eyes, and raised the toy lightsaber. "Spread out. Lao, with me, Grady, Anderson, flank right, everyone else, draw his attention!"

"No way, José!" Johnny Cage confidently said. "I _got _this."

He then smirked at Reptile and cockily stated,

"Come here, Ugly! I'm _right _here!"

Reptile gave a hiss, before he spit another acid ball at Johnny Cage. Johnny managed to dodge the attack, but was cut off guard when Reptile sprinted past him at inhuman speed, sending an elbow into the side of his head.

Johnny groaned, but before he could recover, Reptile took off his mask, shooting his long tongue out onto Johnny's head. It stuck onto it like glue. The tongue began to pull the struggling Johnny forward, and if not stopped soon, could decapitate his very _head_, and it would be eaten!

_BUZZ_

Kung Lao's sharp bladed hat whirred towards Reptile, forcing him to let go of Johnny to duck the hat. Had he not moved in time, the hat would have decapitated him. Reptile hissed in anger, as the hat came back to Kung Lao's hands like a boomerang, as he put it back on his head.

Zillum narrowed his eyes, and leapt at Reptile, before dodging a giant bit of acid vomit. Reptile was growing desperate now, and decided to shoot his acid out in larger quantities, in an effort to hit his target.

Zillum rushed to the side, and swung the blade, knocking Reptile off balance. Jack took the opportunity and leapt into the air, kicking Reptile in the face.

This stunned Reptile for a bit, but only seemed to piss him off. Before Reptile could launch another attack, his eyes widened when he felt an _intense _pain below the belt.

He fell to the ground, clutching his nuts. Johnny Cage had recovered and snuck up behind him, performing one of his trademark moves: the nut punch.

"Yeah! That's what _I'm _talking about!" Johnny Cage exclaimed. He looked down at Reptile, whose eyes were clenched shut in pain. "Ooh.. That's gonna leave a mark.."

Zillum walked up to Johnny, and glared at him.

"What? I _got _him, didn't I?" Johnny Cage tried to defend. "Uh.. you're _welcome_!" He then shrugged.

"The _only _way we're going to survive is if, as much as it pains me to say it, we work _together_."

He motioned to Reptile. "Got that?" He said dangerously. "I don't _like _dealing with dead weight, so you _better _work with this team, understand?"

"Listen, Pumpkin.." Johnny Cage sarcastically began. "I don't know where the _attitude _came from, but I'm _far _from 'dead weight'. You saw! I took _care _of Reptile! He's not in our way anymore. We can _move _on! Advance! Comprendé?"

Zillum grabbed him by his shirt. "Silence!" He said in a terrifyingly _deadly_ voice.

With that, he let go. "Don't _test _me."

"Stop this nonsense!" Kung Lao said. "The _both _of you.. Reptile is down, and the more _time _we waste, the bigger the chance the opposite team has of completing the task at hand.."

"I agree." Carandial said. "We can kill each other later. Let's finish this."

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_*Confession Cam*_

"Well _this _is off to a _great _start." Jack muttered.

_*Confession Cam*_

"Hey, man!" Johnny Cage began, holding his hands out in front of him. "I just saw the opportunity, and I took out Reptile.. Forget this 'team player' crap. If I see an opportunity, I'm taking it! I'll do what I can for my team, but you best believe I'm here to win!"

_*Confession Cam*_

"MMMMhhhmmm.." Homer said, eating a pink frosted sprinkled donut.

_*Confession Cam*_

"We have Johnny Cage acting like a clown on one end, and Zillum acting like a dictator on the other.." Kung Lao said with a sigh. "If things continue like this, I don't have much faith in this team."

_*Confession Cam*_

"Why do _I _get stuck with the walking boulder?!" Owen Grady asked.

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Blue halted suddenly. "Everyone _stop_!" She hissed, looking around quickly. "Dammit! We're upwind!"

"She is right.." Raiden said, his eyes closed.

"What do you see, Lord Raiden?" Liu Kang asked.

A bit of silence went by, before Shao Kahn demanded,

"Out with it, puny god! Say it!"

Before Raiden could say anything, his eyes shot open, and Blue responded, "No!"

The ground began to shake, and Blue immediately screeched viciously, readying to leap at the approaching opponent.

"Thought you'd get off _easy _did ya!?" The Joker exclaimed with maniacal laughter over the loudspeaker. "Introducing, a reptile that could even give Ol' _Croc _wet pants! Ladies and gentlemen.. the _Indominus rex_!"

There was a thunderous roar, and stepping out of the forest, was a _massive_, bone white dinosaur that resembled the _T-rex_, but was spikier, with a more circular head full of protruding, nail-like teeth. It's eyes were blood red.

"You!" Blue snarled.

"Liu Kang! Scorpion! Assume defensive positions!" Raiden exclaimed, even taking one of his own. Liu Kang immediate complied, and Scorpion, though not obedient to Raiden's orders, thought it best to listen anyways.

Shao Kahn tried to pull out his Hammer to foght the _Indominus_.

"Foul beast! I am _Shao _Kahn! You will taste your own blo-"

_SQUEAK_

He then squeezed onto a rubber duck, having remembered that his hammer had been taken.

"AGHH!" Shao Kahn yelled throwing the rubber duck into the trees like a fastball.

"_Squeak_!"

There was a sound from the trees, and not a couple seconds later, down fell a squirrel, unconscious.

"Serves you right.." Scorpion said.

Hank Hill even held his hands up, ready to seemingly throw down, as did Randy Marsh.

"I'm gonna kick your scaly ass!" Hank Hill exclaimed.

"Yeah! You ain't so tough you little _bitch_!" Randy exclaimed, assuming an overly cliché kung fu stance. It was quite obvious Randy had been drinking before arriving at the camp..

Drew looked around at all this chaos with widened eyes, before clutching his forehead with a sigh,

"I need a xanax.."

The _Indominus _gave a loud, thunderous roar, before Drew decided it best to assume a defensive stance as well. The entire team now stood at the ready, ready to take down this giant.

Then, at that moment, a _thunderous _burst of music began to play. It was 'We Will Rock You!' by Queen.

The _Indominus _looked between the group, before focusing on one in particular. Randy.

It looked at Randy, and said with a slight smirk. "Boo."

"AHHH! I'M SORRY!" Randy whimpered like a baby as he tried running away, tripping with every few steps, as he was drunk. He was now on his back, and he crawled back slowly. "E- Eat _them_! They taste good! I _swear_.. I taste like how Rocky Dennis _looks_.."

"SHUT IT!" Luke yelled, startling everyone, activating his lightsaber.

Vader looked at the lightsaber, before activating his own.

Caesarius looked around. "Blue, we'll keep it's attention, the rest of you go for it's vitals!" He said, before darting forward, followed by Blue. Blue screeched before leaping at the massive predator's throat, hooking into her side, and drawing blood.

"Liu Kang!" Raiden exclaimed, giving Liu Kang a signal.

"WAHH!" Liu Kang screamed in a high pitched tone, sending a fly kick into the _Indominus_' jaw.

Before it could recover from the stun, Scorpion immediately followed up with an attack of his own, launching his spear harpoon into its side, causing blood to leak down from its side.

This prompted a roar of pain from the beast. Scorpion would normally be able to simply pull it towards him and slice it in half, but seeing as how his abilities were nerfed.. He could only use this to keep it stunned, and to give everyone else an opportunity to attack.

Vader leapt forward, slicing into the _Indominus' _leg, while Luke leapt at the arm. However, at that moment, the _Indominus _spun around, pulling itself free, and using it's massive tail, knocked the two force users back, before kicking Hank Hill into a tree, and pulling Blue from its neck, holding her.

"Time to join your sisters..." It said dangerously.

Shao Kahn narrowed his eyes in anger, but sensed how powerful it was.. Especially with his abilities now drained at this current point in time. He looked over, seeing Raiden was looking over at him. The two stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, when really it was only a few _seconds_..

The _Indominus _began to advance towards them, causing the two to break out of their trance. They mentally decided, as if telepathically, they would have to.. work _together_.. At least for this once.

Then, out of _nowhere_, _another _massive reptile, leapt into view. It was a fully grown _Tyrannosaurus rex_. She slammed into the _Indominus _with so much force as to send her into a tree. The two titans faced off, roaring at each other in anger and recognition.

"Don't just _stand _there." The _rex _quipped to the others, before rushing at the _Indominus_.

Blue landed on the ground, before she looked at the others, and screeched victoriously, again rejoining the fight.

Hank Hill shook his head out, before standing back to his feet and holding his fists up, slowly advancing towards the _Indominus_.

Drew had simply stood there the entire time, simply _marvelling _at some of the others' fighting skills.. Sure, he had been in his share of scraps before, but.. against _dinosaurs_?

Nevertheless, Drew took a deep breath and charged forward. He saw that the _Indominus_' head was down, and Blue was now attacking it.

Drew sent his best punches into the dinosaur's face, using _all _of his power. The punches only seemed to stun the _Indominus_, but it was one well placed _straight _punch to the _eye_ that was the highlight of his attack!

The _Indominus _gave a roar of pain, lifting its head up out of reach. Its eye was now shut, as if it had been blinded.

Hank Hill now sent a few jabs into the _Indominus_' side, but due to the pain it was now in, Hank hadn't seen its tail coming. As it spun around, it whacked him in the head, knocking him down.

"BWAHH!" Hank Hill yelled as he was knocked to the ground.

The _Rex _grabbed the _Indominus _by it's neck, and swung it through a tree, while Scorpion used his spear to impale it in the neck, yanking its head down.

Finally, Raiden and Shao Kahn looked at each other, before giving a simultaneous nod. The two charged at the _Indominus _at the same time, cocking their fists back, ready to end it.

The _Indominus _widened its eyes as it saw the two god tier beings charging towards it. But by then, it was too late..

_BAM!_

Both of their fists collided with the _Indominus_' jaw right away, actually knocking it _back _a few feet.. The _Indominus _now lay on the ground, giving one final screech of pain, before finally falling into unconsciousness.

The _Rex _stood over the _Indominus' _form, before letting out a _thunderous _roar.

She then looked at the team. "Let me guess, junkfood didn't tell you I was coming?"

Drew gave a nod of pure ecstasy, as well as surprise, as he helped Hank Hill off of the ground.

"No.. I can't say he did." Drew then cocked a brow. "And you are?"

"Rexy." The _T-rex _replied. "I had a choice between getting put back in the park, or being able to go free if I participated in this game."

"Pleasure to see you again." She then said to Blue. "Looks like it was my turn to save you."

"It would seem so..." Blue said with a slight smile.

Shao Kahn looked over at Rexy, before looking back towards Raiden.

"You will speak of this to _no _one!.."

Raiden gave an amused chuckle.

"Agreed.."

Rexy chuckled. "I used to consider your kind snacks, or at least pests, but I have to say, you all put up a good fight." She looked at Drew. "Smart move, blondie."

Drew gave a smirk with rolled eyes, before teasingly countering,

"Well somebody had to.. Not like you could have done it with your small arms.."

Rexy laughed. "You got guts, I'll give you that." She stopped.

"The problem with having just two fingers is a lack of an ability to flip someone off." She then sighed.

"Jurassic World problems, am I right?" Drew said with a slight chuckle. Everyone remained silent after that, one of the camera crew even playing a cricket chirping sound effect. "What?.."

"Leave the terrible jokes to Johnny Cage." Raiden said.

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"Well, well, _well_.." The Joker began over the loudspeaker. "It seems both teams have successfully defeated the test dummies- er I mean, the _bosses_.. HAHA!"

There was a moment of silence, before he continued,

"But now the _real _test will begin.. You will have to use your _brains _from this moment on, to find the location of your _poor _damsels.. Tick _tock_, the clock is ticking down _ever _lower!"

He chuckled. "And you have to do it _alonee…._"

"That's right campers! You have exactly _one _hour to find and locate your damsel. Their locations will be sent to you via text, and you have to solve the challenges to free them. Whichever team gets the most damsels rescued in the time limit wins. And...whoever captures the Joker gets invincibility, _if,_" Chris chuckled. "You can find him!"

"Man! They'll _never _get that invincibility..." Chef laughed after Chris ended the announcement, motioning.

Chris chuckled. "Man, I _know_. I mean, those suckers are out in the woods while _we _get to chill in the hot-tub." He laughed.

"You _said _it.." The Joker said, giving a wicked chuckle. "More _margaritas_, mi amigos?"

The three clinked their margaritas together, while laughing at the campers' misfortune.

"So, do you think that rich kid is going to figure out where his little damsel is?" Chris asked.

"You're enjoying this aren't you..." Kyle muttered, bringing a new batch of food and drinks. Why did _he _have to wear a fucking _maid's _costume?!

"Hmm.." The Joker said, putting a finger on his chin, as if in thought. He immediately grabbed his glass and replied, "Yup! HAHAHA! Now fill up my glass."

Kyle poured the margarita in, _not _enjoying this whatsoever.

"Oh, and next time, make sure to bring us the shakes we actually asked for. I asked for vanilla on the _bottom _and chocolate on the top, not the other way around." Chris said.

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Drew went his separate ways from his team once he seemed to have spotted his clue for his damsel's location. The clue on his slip of paper read,

"_For every fork in the road, there's a right path."_

And lo and behold, after a fair bit of walking, Drew spotted a fork stuck into a tree, the end of it pointing down a path that went more downhill. After that moment, Drew separated from his team, leaving them to _their _clues, as he walked down the path.

At the end of the path was a cave, an orange light illuminating from within it. Drew rushed to the cave's entrance, but stopped at the entrance, carefully looking to see if any more traps had been set for him.

"Is someone out there? I am in here!" Someone shouted from inside the cave. It was feminine, and sounded a _lot _like Jade. This was the spot alright! He had found her.

Drew sighed in relief, before he rushed inside the cave, seeing Jade tied up in a wooden chair.

"I thought I might _never _find you." Drew chuckled, beginning to untie the rope. "The clues were cryptic enough.."

"Hmph.." Jade chuckled. "And not to mention these so called 'challenges' are ridiculous."

Drew nodded in response.

"Agreed there.."

"I could have easily set myself free with my steel spear, but for some reason they _insisted _on taking them from us.." Jade shook her head, before she added. "The only reason I put _up_ with this nonsense is so Shao Kahn doesn't get his way.. With this victory, he likely receives _everything _these people promised him.. Knowing Shao Kahn, his demands must have been _high_."

After she finished her point, Drew had loosened the rope enough to set her free.

"I understand.." Drew said. "I'm not sure what all of your intentions are, but I can tell they mean a lot to you all. But hey, best of luck, though." He ended with a smile.

He couldn't tell for sure due to her green, veil-like mask, but he thought he could see a slight smile from her as well.

"Thank you, Drew.. It has been an honor meeting you." She then stood up. "Just glad I got someone seemingly sensible like you, and not a complete imbecile like that bald yellow man.. Or the pink starfish."

Jade took a breath, before beginning to walk out.

"Okay, let's g-"

"Uh.. _About _that.." Drew sheepishly said, rubbing the back of his head with a grin.

Jade cocked a brow and gave him a slight look.

"What do you mean?.." She asked him.

"Well.. Chris told us there was.. _another _part of the challenge.." Drew nervously began.

"What? What has he come up with now?" Jade questioned him, stepping a bit closer.

"Welll.. the 'heroes' kind of have to… _carry _the damsels back to the base.." Drew chuckled after that, backing up slightly.

Jade's eyes immediately widened.

"You have to _what_!?" Jade exclaimed. Drew immediately flinched, not wanting to piss her off more than she already was. "That is just _ludicrous_! I mean.. why am I even a _damsel _in the first pl-" She cut herself off, giving a sigh.

After a few more seconds of silence, she motioned Drew to come forward. Drew hesitated, but slowly began to step his way towards her. It was then that Jade held out her arms, as if offering to let Drew carry her.

"Jade, I-" Drew began, before she cut him off in an annoyed tone.

"Let's just get this over with, and hopefully our team will have succeeded.. I don't like it any more than _you _do.."

Drew began to go into thought,

'_Well.. Actually I kind of like this a lo-'_

Drew cut himself off, widening his eyes a bit. He quickly regained his composure, however.

Did he really just think that?

Yep.. He did. Who was he kidding? She was kind of hot. And by 'kind of', he meant _really _hot.

But Drew wasn't about to say that to her. _No _fucking way! He actually wanted to _keep _his head attached to his shoulders..

Instead, he simply took a deep breath and picked her up. He made sure she was in a secure and comfortable position, before walking towards the cave's exit.

"Okay, let's go.." Drew said. "It shouldn't take _terribly _long to get back.. Well, if memory serves me right.." With that, they exited the still illuminated cave, beginning to head back to camp, in an effort to complete the challenge.

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"How terribly institutionally misogynistic," Alex remarked having 'rescued' Cate, who happened to be his damsel. Their interaction was similar to the one between Drew and Jade, and Alex had returned to the camp with Cate a few minutes after Drew returned with Jade.

By this point, most of the characters were back, with the notable exception of Heather and Shao-Kahn.

"Where is Alpha?" Blue asked. No-one had seen either Owen for a while.

Cut to a shot of Owen Grady dragging Owen down the mountain inch by inch.

All the campers widened their eyes in surprise and flinched slightly when they heard the yelling of Heather.

"Let me _GO_!" She screamed.

"Silence, plastic breasted woman!" Shao Kahn yelled, making fun of her obvious plastic surgery. Everyone now saw that Shao Kahn was holding Heather upside down by her ankle with almost trivial ease, minus her struggling.

"Um.. _excuse _me!?" Heather exclaimed, trying to punch him in the leg.

"Stop your meaningless struggling! I command you! You know _not _who you nag to, mortal!" Shao Kahn shot back.

Duncan began to snicker, as did Gwen. "If only he was here in the first season..." Gwen giggled.

Finally, Heather let out a surprised yelp when Shao Kahn dropped her to the ground, upon _finally _arriving back at camp.

She immediately stood back up, and stormed up to Shao Kahn. Her height at _best _reached up to his chest.

"You listen _here_, you meathead _brute_!" Heather exclaimed, poking him in the chest. "You will learn to treat me with more _respect_! _I _am the queen of this island, as I _should _have been in season 1!" She said, glaring back at Gwen. "But I was _robbed_.."

Gwen simply rolled her eyes at that statement.

"Oh, just like you robbed everyone else of a chance?" Duncan said sarcastically. Rexy looked at Heather, before walking towards her.

"Oh _now _what?" Heather asked with a huff.

When she turned, she saw a _Tyrannosaurus _looking down at her. "The fact that you think that is adorable. You should get a job in comedy." The _T. rex _said simply.

Heather simply rolled her eyes, rudely retorting,

"You should get a job in a _museum_.. Aren't you supposed to be _dead_?.."

The _T. rex _bared her teeth as she lowered her head to look her in the eye. "Just know, that when someone gets voted off, they lose the protection the network gives them. In a nutshell, I could eat you if enough people decided to not put up with your bullshit."

Heather widened her eyes at that statement. She looked almost speechless at what she had just heard. However, before she could think of _any _sort of witty retort or even scared gibberish, there was a loud yelp as Apollo was thrown from the forest.

"Hey!" The Libertus grumbled as he got up.

Zillum stalked out. "There, I fulfilled the stupid challenge." He growled.

"Once again, the day is _saved_! Thanks to _Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy_!" SpongeBob said in his 'heroic' voice, as he continued to hold Squidward.

Squidward looked down with a dull expression and repeated something he had once said in the past,

"I wonder if a fall from this height would kill me.."

Homer, who had just finished his donuts, tossed the box at Spongebob, knocking him clean out. He looked at the scene in silence, before starting to laugh out loud, before a random ice cream truck fell on him from the sky.

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"I have to say, getting shorty over there to wait on us hand and foot was brilliant." Chef chuckled.

"Same with the sick plan to drop that ice cream truck on one of the campers." Chris said in agreement. "We only lost three interns before it was deemed safe 'enough'."

"Oh trust me," The Joker chuckled. "there's _plenty _more ideas where _that _came from.."

Kyle walked back with the latest course of food, this time some gourmet steak. "Perfect timing..." Chris chuckled. "Twenty more minutes and the challenge is over. Looks like you and the rich kid are going home."

"Wait? What?!" Kyle yelped. "WHY?!"

"Because the hero who _doesn't _bring back his damsel gets eliminated. Same with you."

Kyle froze, before he began to twitch a bit.

"Um, you gonna bring our food over here or not?" Chef asked.

"And it _better _be medium rare!" The Joker added, clapping twice like you might do to a slave.

Kyle looked down, before screaming in abject rage. The sound was so loud that _everyone _on the island heard it.

Everyone on the beach heard that, and even Zillum seemed a little perturbed by how it sounded. Someone was _not _happy.

"Good, let the hate flow through you..." Palpatine said with a grin.

"Bwah.." Hank Hill said, covering his ears. "Who the hell is playin' that new age music?"

Back at the hot tub, Chris, Chef, and Joker were rubbing their ears in pain.

"Th- That's not.. _funny_.." The Joker said, still clearly in surprise over what just happened.

Kyle tossed the food over his head, and stomped over towards them. He had had _enough _of this. All this humiliation for _nothing_?!

Chris and Chef blinked for a minute in surprise, however at something. Not Kyle. He was pretty short, so not that intimidating. They weren't scared, they just didn't seem to expect to see...

"So.. You actually managed to _find _your way here.." The Joker began, standing up. He then shrugged. "Not surprising.. After a scream like _that_? Yeesh.."

Kyle turned to see Jack walk forward. He looked at Kyle, who was wearing maid clothes, and then at Joker, Chris and Chef.

"I'll be taking that invincibility now." Jack said with a slight grin.

"Okay, fine fine.. You _win_.." The Joker conceded with rolled eyes. "But can I at _least _get my steak?"

What he got was a steak thrown right into his face by Kyle.

"See.." The Joker began, his voice muffled due to the steak stuck onto his face. "Now _that's _funny! Hahaha!"

Chris and Chef looked to each other, before Chris shrugged.

Kyle smirked before walking up to Jack and…

He immediately regretted his decision even more. Being carried back in a _maid's _outfit?!

'_Well played_…' He thought.

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"Attention campers!" Chris said on the loudspeaker, catching the group by surprise. Owen Grady had _finally managed _to drag Owen back. After dropping the fatass on the ground, Owen Grady looked like he was about to say something, before he just face planted into the ground, exhausted.

"What a trooper.." Drew commented with crossed arms and a smirk. He was still kind of in self reflection and thought over this whole challenge..

Jade hadn't said much on the way back, and was now currently back with Kitana and the Earthrealmers. A bit of a disappointing feeling to Drew.. But who was he kidding? It was just a stupid 'camp crush', anyways..

'_Oh well.. Guess I'll listen to what Chris has to say, now..' _Drew finally thought.

"We have our winners. The Screaming Bass!"

The team looked to each other in surprise.

"Hell yeah!" Johnny Cage exclaimed aloud. "That's what _I'm _talking about! Gimme some!" He finished, holding out a fist towards Bebe, the one who he had to carry back. However, all he managed to get from her was an eye roll, and a step away from him.

"Aw come _on_!" Johnny Cage complained. He then gave up for now, but muttered to himself. "One day, Johnny.. One day."

At that moment, Shao Kahn noticed that the Gophers had gotten all their heroes and damsels here _first_.

"You insolent _fool_!" Shao Kahn yelled directly at the loudspeaker. "I brought back this wretched hellbeast like you told me to!" He added, pointing at Heather.

"Hey!" Heather exclaimed, before Shao Kahn continued his rant,

"What is the _meaning _of this treachery!? I _demand _you tell me at once!"

"Jack found his damsel." Chris said simply, starting to chuckle.

"I know not of this 'Jack' you speak of.." Shao Kahn said, clearly frustrated. "I don't _see _him here, do you?"

"Yes, but he found the Joker, and won invincibility for his team. Also, his damsel scored points for the _excellent _service.

"So we did all of that cryptic searching and heavy lifting for nothing?.." Sub-Zero asked, just as peeved.

"Yeah..." Chris chuckled. "I'll see you Gophers at the bonfire ceremony tonight."

At that moment, Jack walked out of the woods, carrying Kyle who, everyone now saw, was wearing a maid's outfit.

Kyle pulled his ushanka down to hide his face and the absolute humiliation.

Cartman began to attempt to stifle his laughter, but he was unable to contain himself. He just burst out laughing at the top of his lungs.

"Oh.. Oh, _man_.." Cartman tried to say through his breathing and laughter. "That is _so _fucking gay, dude.."

He had to sit down, but when he did so, he heard a loud yelp. He jumped up and saw he had accidentally sat on Owen Grady, who was still on the ground.

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"Killer Gophers, at most camps, marshmallows represent a treat you roast by the fire. At this camp, they represent life. You've all cast your votes, and made your decision. There are thirty one campers here, and only thirty marshmallows. The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the Dock of Shame, to catch the Boat of Losers. And you can't come back, _ever_."

_*Confession Cam*_

"As long as I have a say in this?" Raiden began, casting his vote in. "My vote is clear.."

_*Confession Cam*_

"Goodbye, _Thunder God_.." Shao Kahn said, casting his vote. "The rest of you Earthrealmers shall be _next_.."

*_Confession Cam_*

"I'd rather _not _deal with that yellow piece of cheese for months..." Caesarius growled.

*_Confession Cam_*

"I don't like saying things like this, but Shao Kahn _needs _to go." Lee said.

*_Confession Cam_*

"That.. _dinosaur _thinks she's better than _me_!?" Heather exclaimed, a sadistic chuckle behind it. "We'll see about that.."

*_Confession Cam_*

"The _only _reason that sponge is still alive is because I lost access to my powers." Palpatine growled.

_*End Confession Cam*_

"The first marshmallow goes to...Vader." Chris said.

The Sith Lord caught the marshmallow in his hand. "Wise choice..." He said.

"Bobby Lee."

"It's 'Robert.'"

"Whatever." Chris laughed.

"Caesarius, Julien-"

"No! It's _king_! Get it right!"

"_*Cough* _Suck a dick. _*Cough*_" Drew mocked King Julien, trying to be funny.

"That's why I voted for you, commoner!" King Julien shot back. "Lower classes..." He muttered, crossing his arms.

"I'm _so_ honored, 'Your Majesty'.." Drew sarcastically retorted.

"Blue, Sub-Zero, Jade, Raiden, Louie Kane,"

Liu Kang caught the marshmallow, an annoyed scowl on his face.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.." He responded.

"Hank, Squidward, Randy,"

"YEAH!" Randy shouted in excitement, which caused everyone, even Chris, to flinch in surprise. "WOO!"

"Harold, Bridgette, Lindsey, Trent,"

"Stevie Wonder, Bucky Barnes, Ibilisi, Rose, Natasha, Sam, Luke, Scorpion, the Squirrels."

"_No_!" Scorpion yelled in his voice of brimstone. "Those beings are even _worse _than the beasts of Hell! I _demand _they be eradicated!"

"Erissare, Rexy,"

"Pft.. Bitch.." Heather muttered under her breath, her arms folded.

"Someone needs to get laid..." Erissare shrugged.

"What the-" Heather began to blush, stuttering over her words, also beginning to get a bit worked up. "Who even _are _you?.."

"Look," Erissare said. "You just need some more makeup, and maybe a new outfit-"

"She is right." Shao Kahn decided to but in out of the blue. "Plastic breasted Hellbeast, heed my words, you should really-"

"Umm…" Heather cut him off now, her hands on her hips. "Just _what _did you call me?"

"Better than what _I _would have called you, sister." Erissare laughed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Heather snapped, getting angry.

"Heather." Chris said.

Heather then smirked, catching the marshmallow.

"And so my new reign begins.." She spoke, eating the marshmallow.

"Shao Kahn," Chris finally said, leaving just two campers, Drew and SpongeBob.

Raiden hung his head down in slight defeat, but Liu Kang put a hand on his shoulder. He gave him a look that said 'we'll get him next time'.

"You mortals made the _correct_ choice.." Shao Kahn said with a small laugh. He then tossed the marshmallow into the fire. "I do not _need _your puffs of sugar.. For they are _insignificant _to my-"

"Yeah, yeah.." Heather rolled her eyes. "Get on with it, Chris."

Shao Kahn growled at that.

"How _dare _you interrupt my-"

"Get on with it!" Palpatine growled.

Chris hesitated as Drew and SpongeBob looked at the final marshmallow.

King Julien chuckled at Drew's nervous expression.

"Goodbye, commoner.." He taunted.

Drew looked back at Raiden, Liu Kang, and Jade. He had become fairly decent acquaintances with them so far, and to have that taken away so soon?

That would _really _suck..

Jade actually appeared a bit wide eyed at the suspense of this whole thing. In her mind, she was surprised Drew was on the verge of being eliminated so soon. Especially since he was one of the most sensible ones here that she's seen.

She saw Drew as a worthy acquaintance and possible ally as well, just as Raiden and Liu Kang did.

And now.. the suspense was real..

"Drew."

"Yes!" Drew exclaimed in absolute relief.

King Julien evidently scoffed.

"Ugh! Dammit.." He cursed under his breath. "Maurice! Bribe the producers so we can get it right!"

Raiden, Liu Kang, and Jade all appeared to look on in relief as well. A potential ally against Shao Kahn was _always _a good thing.

SpongeBob deflated into a being of sadness. How could _he _of all people be voted off so soon?

He wouldn't get to spend time at what _he _saw as a fun summer camp with his _best _pals, Patrick and Squidward.

He had lost..

Standing up, SpongeBob sighed in defeat.

"Well, I suppose I _lost_.. Fair and square."

Just as quick as his sadness began, SpongeBob quickly became optimistic.

"Oh well! I'll see you back in Bikini Bottom, Squidward! Tell Patrick I said goodbye."

Squidward rolled his eyes slightly, responding with little emotion,

"Oh, I will.."

"Hey, don't be a dick..." Blue chastised. "Good luck." She said to Spongebob.

Squidward looked over at Blue, with just as little emotion as he had when he spoke to SpongeBob.

"Do I _know _you?.." Squidward questioned.

"No, I'm just trying to be nice, Mr. Tortellini."

"For the _last _time! It's not 'Tortellini', it's- Ugh.. Whatever.." Squidward sighed.

"Bye, guys! It's been _fun_!" He then turned to Chris. "Bye, Cody!"

"It's Chris." He motioned to the dock.

"The Dock of Shame awaits, bro."

SpongeBob held out his hand.

"No need.."

He then ran full speed towards the water and simply jumped in. He never rose back up to the surface, so more likely than not, he simply went on his journey home from there.. Back into the sea.

"Gophers, the rest of you are safe. For now." Chris declared.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh my God, will you just _shut up?!_" Kyle groaned, trying to get away from Cartman, who had been following him for the last hour, going on and on about...things.

"Dude.. Dude, Kyle, come _on_.." Cartman began, still laughing his ass off. "You gotta admit, that's _pretty _funny! A- A _maid's _outfit! HAHAHA!"

"I heard the Penguins knocked you out to drag you back here in peace," Kyle shot back. "I can see why."

"Oh, don't throw that weak shit at me, Kyle.." Cartman rolled his eyes. "_You're _the one who got carried in a gay maid's outfit by that one asshole.. What's his name? Uh.. James or something.."

"Jack," A voice said behind Cartman.

"What the f-" Cartman began, before he saw that the voice had belonged to the one in question, Jack. "Oh, thanks, Jim.. Great.. Yeah, so anyways, as I was _saying_, Kyle-" He started back up as he turned back around, ignoring Jack.

He was suddenly tugged back as Jack grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. "Don't you have anything better to do? Or did you lose your eating contest with the other fatass who's actually tolerable?"

"Don't _you_ have anything better to do than suck dick all day?" Cartman fired back, getting worked up. "Psh.. Queer.." He muttered.

Jack cocked a brow. "You know, if you keep being a dick, you'll get voted off, right? Wait, forget I said that, just keep acting like a complete twat, and you'll win."

"You think you're funny, don't you?" Cartman chuckled wickedly. "Ha _ha_, Jerry.. Real funny! Y'know what? I'm tired of your gay ass already.. I'm gonna go hang out with the _kewl _guys.. Later, nerds. Don't fuck each other _too _hard while I'm gone.." Cartman said as he tried to leave.

"Your stuffed animals don't count as the 'kewl' guys, you sumo reject."

"Ooh.." Cartman began in mock shock. "_So _original.. Big boned, but whatever. Okay, as I said.. Not too hard, okay? Bye, ladies.."

"Look just cause you're _obviously _a flaming queen doesn't mean you have to be a complete waste of space." Jack muttered.

Cartman couldn't help but chuckle once more.

"Okay, Jerome, first of all.. These weak ass insults you're throwing at me? Are _lame_, as fuck.. Okay? Second, you don't gotta act all tough in front of your Jew boyfriend over there, okay? He's clearly already into you, so yeah.. Go nuts." Cartman stifled laughter at the end.

"You know, I couldn't say the same for you. I doubt _anyone _would go for you. Not because you're fat, but because you're a complete pussy who couldn't do _one _thing right in life, and knows that deep down, he's a failure. You're pathetic. I'm surprised Zillum didn't rip you apart. Don't think I didn't see how terrified you were of him. Pussy..."

Cartman mock gasped.

"Oh _no_.. Kyle, did you hear that? I'm a _pussy_!" Cartman then chuckled. "Get a grip, bitch.. I've heard it all before.. Empty ass insults. You wanna talk about pathetic? Let's talk about the way you strings words together, queermo.. Oh, and I'd _love _to see you go up to Zillum and challenge him to a fight. But oh wait, you wouldn't do that. Guess that makes _you _a pussy as well.."

"Didn't your dad ever tell you that you sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up?" Jack responded simply.

Cartman froze upon hearing that sentence. He didn't say a _thing _upon hearing the word 'dad'..

"Oh...did that actually offend you? I'm sorry..." Jack said, walking closer.

Cartman began to take deep breaths, his emotions clearly beginning to take over now. Angered tears were coming to his eyes, as he yelled,

"F- Fucking faggot!" With that, he stormed out of the exit, and into the night, most likely with tears streaming down his face.

Jack took a deep breath. He hated bullies, but he honestly didn't intend to cause _that _level of distress. He just wanted to knock the fat bastard down a peg…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was midnight, and Scorpion was surprised to see Zillum approach him.

"What do you want?" Scorpion bluntly asked of him.

"I am here with a proposal." Zillum said.

"Whatever it is, I'm not interested.." Scorpion replied. He would clearly be a tough nut to crack..

"What if I could get rid of your enemy?"

"My enemy?" Scorpion questioned, standing up now. "What are you talking about?"

"Shao Kahn, Palpatine, the list goes on. The point is, I am proposing that we form two alliances within each of our teams, and use that, to dictate what happens. One way or another, we can eliminate the tougher competition first with this alliance, and when the time comes, turn our allies against each other. Of course, _if _you're interested..."

"One thing I have learned, is to _never _trust an alliance.." Scorpion said, his eyes narrowed. "The last alliance I was apart of, was with the _true _murderer of my family and clan.. They always stab you in the _back _in the end.. One day, I even fear the Elder Gods may betray me.. I trust _no one_, anymore.. Only tolerate."

"As you should. I'm simply saying, this is a means to an end. If we can get enough of these contestants on our side, we can dictate who goes and when. And when the time comes, we can turn them against each other, until only two are left standing..."

Scorpion gave a frustrated sigh, before mulling it over for a little bit. He looked back up at Zillum and finally gave his answer,

"Fine.." There was a slight pause, before Scorpion added, "But heed my words.. I will be keeping a _close _eye on you.. We will garner votes against the enemy party. We will see them eliminated from competition. But _one _sign of treachery from you, and this deal is _off_! I will _not _tolerate any sign of treachery.. Not _again_!"

"Do not fear. In time, we will control this game."

**A/N: This story is a collaborative effort between myself, LionKingIsAwesome, and Liam Holman. In some ways, this is a spinoff of another story we're writing, New Kids. Also, Zillum, Carandial, Apollo, and Caesarius are owned by Cyrannian from the Sporewiki. I just got permission to use them! We hope you enjoyed the first episode of this new series!**


	2. 2, Batter Up

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "Sixty one campers arrived and learned that they would be spending a few months at a crusty old summer camp. The campers, separated into two teams, the Screaming Bass and Killer Gophers, were further divided into heroes and damsels, and were forced to rescue each other. Some had a _bad _day,"

Flashback to Owen Grady collapsing on the ground after rescuing Owen and the dreaded Squirrel incident.

"In the end, Jack managed to win the challenge by rescuing our servant, er, his _damsel_, which one camper in particular found absolutely _hilarious_!" Chris chuckled. "And in the end, it was the Gophers who sent SpongeBob home, the first camper to leave this season! And today's challenge will be just as brutal if I have anything to say about it, which, I do. Stay tuned for the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet on, Total, Drama, Island!"

*_Theme Song plays_*

It was early morning. The campers were in the cafeteria, eating...whatever it was Chef had made.

Steve Rogers was eating his breakfast, which consisted of gray slop.

"I'll be honest, the food in World War 2 was _slightly _better," he admitted to Bucky.

"I'll second that," the Winter Soldier replied.

"Yeah! This food tastes like _dog _shit!" Cartman exclaimed. "I'd rather eat pubes again.."

"Where's Grady?" Apollo asked Duncan, who just shrugged.

Soon, said Raptor trainer walked in, wincing a bit with each step. When he sat down, he tried to pick up a fork, but couldn't lift it. "God *bleep* dammit!" He muttered.

"Expensive beeps! We only get a few for each episode." Chris chastised, while eating his gourmet breakfast.

"Go *bleep* yourself." Owen Grady muttered.

"Sorry..." Owen said.

"Don't talk to me!"

"*Bleep* *Bleep*ity *Bleep* *Bleep* Fuck!" Cartman exclaimed, trying to intentionally stir up drama, and cost the producers their budget.

"Chef?" Chris asked, glaring at Cartman. The big scary black guy proceeded to walk over, and take away Cartman's food, and give it to Owen, Homer and Patrick.

"Woohoo!" Homer exclaimed, trying to eat it with the fork, but jabbing himself instead.

"D'oh!"

"Gray slop! Yum!" Patrick said in excitement, to which the three immediately scarfed it down, leaving Cartman with a stunned expression.

"Ey! What the fu-" Cartman began, before he was cut off by Zillum who shoved him from the table.

"Stuff it." Zillum snapped.

"I think he's stuffed enough as it is.." Drew commented, deciding to jump in on this one.

All of the Earthrealmers who were sitting with Drew at a table, especially Johnny Cage, laughed at this remark, which earned him a Johnny Cage fist bump. Even Jade and Kitana couldn't help but giggle at that. Bebe, Bridgette, Duncan, even _Heather _of all people, stifled a laugh.

Zillum hesitated, before chuckling a bit, amused himself.

"Wow...you _actually _laugh at something for once?" Apollo asked with a grin.

"Shut it." Zillum growled, going back to his previously grumpy demeanor.

Cartman said nothing more, simply crossing his arms around his fat gut in a huff.

"Alright, Campers, for today's challenge, you are going to participate in America's national past-time, a good old game of Softball!"

"_H'wat_!" Hank Hill exclaimed, standing to his feet. Bill and Dale even appeared shocked as well by that statement. "Now you listen _here_, Mister! I don't know h'wat the _hell _they teach you in Canada, but in _America_, we play _baseball_!"

Chris just chuckled. "Baseball, softball, same thing!"

"No, no, _no_!" Hank Hill exclaimed, not believing what he was hearing.

"Kick his ass, Hank!" Dale exclaimed, trying to stir up drama.

"Chef?" Chris asked with a grin. The response was a baseball thrown from the kitchen that hit Hank in the groin.

"Bwah!" Hank Hill yelped in pain, falling to the ground.

"Ooh.." Dale cringed. "That can't be good for your narrow urethra.."

"Shut.. it… _Dale_!" Hank Hill warned through the pain in his groin.

"Alright, the starting lineup for the Gophers are: Shao Kahn as Captain,"

"_Emperor _Captain!" Shao Kahn exclaimed in his deep voice.

"That's _Mr_.DoctorProfessorEmperorCapta-" Patrick began to annoyingly say, before he was knocked unconscious by a rubber duck that was thrown at him.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Alex muttered quietly.

"_Hey_!" Homer said, taking offense to that.

"Takes one to know one." Zillum said to Alex.

"If you want some, I'll give it ya," Alex said in a slurred voice. "It's… an old meme," he added.

What he got was a chair thrown at his face.

"Kick his ass, Queen Elizabeth!" Dale exclaimed once more, again trying to stir up drama.

"That's going to leave a mark..." Jack muttered.

"Twat," Alex professed his annoyance.

"Alright, now the Killer Gophers lineup is: Captain Shao-Kahn, Catcher: Liu Kang, Pitcher: Drew,"

"Pitcher?" Drew asked with widened eyes. "I've always been more of a _hitter_, but-"

"What is a _catcher_?" Liu Kang asked, slightly confused.

"Ever heard of 'stickball' back from.. wherever it is you came from?" Duncan interjected. "Listen, Jackie Chan, you see the ball come at you, you catch it.. If the hitter of the ball hits it up, you catch it.. You catch it or tag people not on a base three times, they're out.. You _switch_.."

"Leave it to Duncan to do my job for me.." Chris shrugged with a laugh.

"First Base is Robert E. Lee, Second Base is Randy Marsh, and Third Base is Stevie Wonder,"

Chris looked at the list one last time. "Shortstop is Sub-Zero, Left-Fielder is Trent, Center Field is Scorpion, with the Squirrels-"

"Mention those wretched hell-beasts _one _more time!.." Scorpion warned, trying to summon fire in his hand, but couldn't. However, that didn't stop his hellish, demonic voice from being known.

"And Right Field is Raiden." Chris finished.

"Hey!" Harold exclaimed. "What about the _rest _of us?.."

"You'll be the crowd." Chris said with a grin. "However, the Captain can bring in new players if necessary."

"But can only bring in three new players the whole game." He added.

"Uh, _hello_! Aren't you forgetting your most _valuable _player, here?" Heather yelled out.

"Don't worry, hot stuff.. He just hasn't called my team off yet. That's all.." Johnny Cage confidently spoke.

Heather evidently scoffed and gave him a shove.

"Not _you_, pretty boy! I meant _me_!" Heather yelled once more. "Chris! What is the _meaning _of this? There has to be some kind of _mix _up!"

"Nope," Chris said with a grin. "And, for the Screaming Bass," Chris stopped.

"Pitcher is Jack, Catcher is Owen,"

Jack cocked a brow, noticing he hadn't called out the Captain.

"Uh, Chris?" Bridgette softly brought up, noticing this as well. "You forgot to call out their team captain.."

"All in good time, Bridgette, all in good time," Chris replied cryptically.

"I don't like that guy.." Sub-Zero crossed his arms.

"First Base is Duncan, Second is Thor, Third is DJ, Shortstop is Stark Raving Hazelnut,"

Tony chuckled. "Thank you, Ben & Jerry's," he remarked, unsure whether it was genuine or sarcastic.

"Left is Kung Lao, Center is Carandial, and Right is Zillum,"

"And I'm the Captain.." Johnny Cage shrugged with a smirk. "I get it.. Gotta save the best for last.."

Chris began to snicker. "Nope. Our final contestant is joining us now."

"_Another _contestant!?" Duncan shouted in annoyance. "How many are you gonna have? When I see him, I swear I'm gonna kick his a-"

Suddenly, the ground began to shake, cutting Duncan off. Pretty much _everyone _bounced a bit off the ground with each step.

There was dead silence for several seconds.. That was _until_,

_SMASH!_

The front entrance to the cafeteria was smashed open with ease, by none other than a mere fist. But this wasn't just _any _person..

Everyone gasped in shock, seeing this monster for the first time.

"No.." Shao Kahn softly whispered, showing slight fear for the first time since he's been here. "It _can't _be.."

"Where is Shao _Kahn_!?" The beast demanded, it deep, monstrous voice echoing throughout the room.

Everyone immediately pointed at Shao Kahn, even Chris and Chef.

Finally, the beast stepped up to Shao Kahn, staring down at him. After a bit, he began to wickedly laugh at the top of his lungs. This caused Shao Kahn to take a step back, but to maintain his 'tough' factor, he put on a scowl and looked up at his mortal enemy.

"Onaga.." Shao Kahn finally said aloud.

Raiden and the Earthrealmers knew full _well _who this was! This was the _Dragon King_! The former Emperor of Outworld! One of the most powerful beings to _ever _be alive!

Onaga stood at a towering _10 _feet tall, and weighed at _least _a ton!

And Chris apparently said that he was a _contestant _on the show!?

This would _not _be easy for the Killer Gophers..

"And...the Screaming Bass' team captain." Chris added.

"You have a _twisted _mind, you know that?.." Gwen commented to Chris.

"I know, Gwen. I know." Chris chuckled.

Zillum cocked a brow, but didn't say anything. This was an interesting development…

_*Confession Cam*_

"This mortal thinks resurrecting The _Dragon _King was a smart idea!? Is he _insane_!?" Shao Kahn admitted, freaking out. He then sighed. "Well regardless.. I have dealt with him before, and I can _do _so again.. This time, all I need to do is win a mere game of stickball. This will be _easy_.."

_*Confession Cam*_

"I'm starting to think the Discount Actor from Canada is a lunatic.." Raiden said. "Now we have not only Shao Kahn, but _Onaga _to deal with! This will not be an easy task.."

_*Confession Cam*_

"Remember what I said about kicking the new contestant's ass?" Duncan spoke aloud. "Yeah I take that back.."

_*Confession Cam*_

"Ugh...I'm screwed..." Jack muttered. He was the pitcher, and he was honestly afraid for his life now.

_*Confession Cam*_

"Ugh.. I'm _fucked_!" Drew exclaimed in absolute fear, his face paling. He was the pitcher for the _opposing _team of Onaga, and he too was afraid for his life.

_*Confession Cam* _

"Mmmm...Donut!" Homer said, eating the last donut he had brought. "D'OH!"

_*End Confession Cam*_

"Uh, excuse me.." LeShawna rose her hand. "I can't help but notice the lack of _sista _power on these teams.." She narrowed her eyes at Chris.

"It is baseball after all, you know?" Chris said. "Besides, _these _two are the captains. You can join if you want though."

It cuts to a shot of Onaga and Shao Kahn staring murderously at each other.

All of the girls present widen their eyes.

"Uh, no _thanks_.. I changed my mind.." Heather spoke. "I can handle one dinosaur, but _two_?"

"Who are you calling _dinosaur_, foolish mortal!?" Onaga exclaimed, causing Heather's skin to instantly pale. "_I _am Onaga, the _Dragon King_! And don't ever forget it!"

Heather was actually so caught off guard and terrified, she fainted to the ground.

"Yeah.." Gwen muttered. "I'm good, thanks Chris.."

"Whateva.." LeShawna sighed, crossing her arms.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The two teams walked to the field. Chef waited there, as Umpire. "First up is the Killer Gophers." Chris said.

As the majority of both teams headed into the dugout, the Bass took the field. Shao Kahn, as captain, would bat first.

Shao Kahn stepped up to the plate with his hammer, which Chris approved he could use as his bat. He eyed Jack, who was the pitcher, and looked on with confidence.

"I would suggest _not _throwing like a mortal! Oh wait, you _are _one!" Shao Kahn then chuckled to himself, thinking he had made a good joke.

Jack narrowed his eyes, and got ready. He had played baseball in Freshman year, in High School. He had been playing his whole life, actually.

He threw the ball with surprising speed, and Shao Kahn widened his eyes when Chef called out,

"Strike 1!"

"_What_!?" Shao Kahn yelled. "Impossible! I wasn't _ready_!"

"Shut your mouth and play ya little baby!" Chef yelled.

Shao Kahn turned around with a growl, prompting Chef to widen his eyes slightly. However, he had to remember, he was apart of the _staff _on this show..

"Do you _want _me to pull a red flag on you, foo'? Because I _will _pull a red flag!"

"Uh.. Isn't that in footba-" Alex began to say, before Chef yelled back,

"Hush yo' mouth! I'll even call a flagrant foul! I will flagrant you to _death_, playa! Do you want that!

Everyone knew that was a basketball term, but no one said anything this time.. Shao Kahn sighed with his eyes rolled,

"No.. I suppose _not_.."

"That's what I thought!" Chef said. "Now play ball!" He blew on his whistle, and Jack prepared for his second pitch.

Jack threw a curveball at Shao-Kahn, who managed to hit it. Jack widened his eyes as it flew up _high _towards the fence. It looked like it was going to be a home run!

"HAHAHA! _Fool_!" Shao Kahn taunted as he ran the bases. "That is what you _get_, for I am Shao Kah-"

He cut himself off, immediately stopping in his tracks when he saw that Zillum caught the ball just in time. He had jumped at the fence, and caught it right before it went over.

"_No_!" Shao Kahn yelled with a growl, gripping his hammer tightly.

"You're out!" Chef called, pointing to the dugout. "Now get off my field!"

Shao Kahn growled once more, stomping back to his dugout, shoving Harold off of the bench, and taking a seat..

"Ow! _Gosh_.." Harold complained.

"Batter up!" Chef yelled as Drew stepped up to the plate.

Drew stood with his bat with a grin of slight confidence. He never really pitched that often, but back in high school, he was known as one of their team's _star _hitters!

Jack took a deep breath, readying himself. He analyzed the strike-zone, and after a short while, made his move. He sent a fastball, and Drew hit it with enough force to send it all the way to the other side of the field!

While Kung Lao eventually caught the ball and threw it Thor, it was too late. Drew had reached second base!

"Could be worse.." Drew said with a shrug. "Just getting warmed up."

"Double!" Chef officially called out. "Next batter!"

Seeing one of the opposing team actually making progress, Onaga growled in boiling anger.

"Time out! _Now_!" Onaga exclaimed. Chef widened his eyes with gritted teeth, blowing the whistle.

"Time out for the Bass!" Chef said.

The game stopped for a short while, as Jack paled. This was _not _good!

Even Duncan looked a bit hesitant as his team huddled up.

"What is the _meaning _of this!?" Onaga scolded. "Why has the blond one _advanced_!?"

Everyone, even Zillum was silent, before Jack said softly. "It's my fault." He said, taking responsibility. "Don't blame them."

Onaga couldn't help but stay silent for a couple of seconds. The tension was _intense_. Until at last, the silence was broken when Onaga chuckled.

"A noble quality you possess.. But not one that will get us very _far_! Don't let this happen again.." Onaga told the whole team.

"Yes sir!" Several people replied.

"I have a plan," Onaga added once more. "but you will need to listen _carefully_.."

Everyone listened intently as their captain began to speak.

"Fat one," Onaga called out to Owen.

Owen nodded nervously, none of his usual happy mannerisms making themselves known.

"You will switch to third base."

Everyone widened their eyes in shock. They looked really confused as to why he would call for such a switch.

Owen and DJ looked to each other, before they nodded.

"Jack, is it?" Onaga questioned once again.

"Yes, sir." Jack replied.

"Liu Kang is batting next I believe, and he is left handed. So here's what I want you all to do: Jack, you pitch a curved fastball that will cause Liu Kang to reach _out_! In doing this, it should bring our chances higher of the ball soaring towards third base.. Fat one, this is where _you _come in.. You will _catch _the ball, and while the blond one runs your way, you will use _all _of your weight to smash into his face! This should injure him enough to kick him out of the game.." There was a brief pause, before Onaga finished, "He is _too _great a hitting threat for him to stay in this game.. As is Shao Kahn, but _I _shall deal with him.."

Everyone looked to each other, before they all gestured or voiced their agreement.

"Understood." Zillum said.

"Good, now.. Break!" Onaga exclaimed.

With that, the Bass returned to their positions on the field, some looking nervous, others looking determined and confident.

Just as Onaga said, Liu Kang stepped up to the plate, ready to bat. He looked at DJ, who was now catcher. DJ waved at Liu Kang in nervousness, before Liu Kang looked over at _Owen _now..

Owen appeared to be breathing heavy, as if he was mentally preparing for something. Liu Kang didn't understand the change, but he shrugged and prepared to hit anyways. Drew looked on with a confident grin. He was ready to run full force!

Jack took a deep breath, before he did _exactly _as Onaga had ordered! Liu Kang's eyes widened, but his reflexes were well enough that he reached out and smacked the ball.

It soared _directly _towards third base, which caused Owen to widen his eyes.

"AHH!" Owen screamed with closed eyes, holding out his glove. However, to his surprise, he had actually caught Liu Kang _out_!

"Owen! _Now_!" Duncan yelled out, which caused Owen to initiate phase 2 of their plan. Onaga watched on carefully, but with a wicked grin.

Drew ran like The Flash in Owen's direction, ready to juke him out like he had to those in high school. However, quite the _opposite _ended up happening.. Instead of tossing the ball back to second base, Owen charged at Drew at full speed and full _weight_,

"RAHH!" Owen fiercely yelled, which caused Drew's skin to pale. He was like a deer in headlights..

_BAM!_

Owen crashed directly into Drew, sending him flying back a few feet, his face directly on the ground.

Everything was silent..

Minus Drew's groans of agony, no one said _anything _for a full several seconds..

"Out and out!" Chef yelled. "Double Play! Switch sides!"

The entire Gopher team, most notably the Earthrealmers, Jade, and Kitana,, all rushed over to Drew's side.

"Uh.. _Ohhh_, ow.." Drew moaned in pain. It looked as if he had multiple bone fractures.

"Is someone gonna _help _him!?" Heather surprisingly exclaimed. "Hello! He's one of our best _hitters_! We can't lose him _now_!"

"Oh, _shut _it!" Jade warned Heather, which caused her to back off slightly.

Caesarius knelt down, and gently helped Drew up. "We need a doctor..." He said. "Timeout!" He then yelled.

"Ooh!.." Chris winced with a slight smirk. "_Wicked _wipeout, bro.. But good for ratings!"

As Caesarius and Jade helped Drew off the field, Shao Kahn looked over to the opposing team's dugout with utmost suspicion.

"That strategy almost looked _ingenius_! So orchestrated.. So _evil_.. Besides _me_, no one is _capable _of such a thing besides-"

Shao Kahn widened his eyes, before they narrowed once more.

"_Onaga_.." Shao Kahn growled. As angry as he was, he was actually just as _nervous_ now! For a mortal, Drew _was _a pretty good hitter.. And to lose him so _soon_..

Things were looking bleaker and _bleaker_ by the minute for the Killer Gophers..

After a little while, the teams switched, and Palpatine had been selected as the Pitcher for the Gophers.

Onaga stepped forward to bat. He gave a wicked and knowing smirk, holding up a 6 foot long _Oni _spine for his bat.

Palpatine narrowed his eyes as he got ready. Using his force enhanced speed, he threw the ball extremely rapidly,

_SMACK!_

The ball _soared _high into the atmosphere, so fast that even _flames _were on the tail end of it! It was very safe to say..

That ball was _gone_!

Onaga simply walked the bases, not wanting to waste his energy. The ground shook with every step, as he taunted to Palpatine,

"Looks like Shao Kahn isn't as _wise _with his choices as I would have once _thought_.." Onaga evilly laughed as he stomped back to the dugout, satisfied with his performance.

"AGHH!" Shao Kahn exclaimed, slamming his hammer down towards the ground, and hitting Harold in the nuts.

"AHHH!" Harold screamed in absolute pain, causing the geese to fly away, and causing the squirrels to stare out into the sky.

"_That's _going to leave a mark..." Trent said, wincing.

As Onaga returned, Jack stepped up to the plate. He was one of the few players who could both pitch and hit fairly well.

"Easy run.." Onaga commented with a smirk, making sure Jack heard it.

Jack looked at Palpatine, readying himself. Then, he got an idea. He called his shot, pointing to Center Field.

There was hushed silence from both teams.

Palpatine narrowed his eyes, and threw the ball.

The bat swung, and the ball soared high into the air, until it crossed the fence, _exactly _where Jack had called it.

Jack began to run the bases, while Shao Kahn stood to his feet.

"_No_!" He shouted once again, visible anger on his face.

The score was now 2-0, the Bass in the lead.

Kyle began to clap, and several of the Bass team began to cheer. Even Onaga couldn't help but smile at this. If it meant that Shao Kahn suffered, then so _be _it!

He welcomed Jack back at the dugout and told him,

"_Excellent _batting skills.. Not bad for a mortal."

"Just following your lead." Jack replied as he returned to the dugout.

Raiden stood with crossed arms, with Liu Kang standing beside him.

"What do you think of, Lord Raiden?.." Liu Kang asked, still slightly ashamed in his performance earlier. He felt partially responsible for Drew's condition, and wanted to make things right..

Jade and Kitana stood beside Liu Kang and Raiden as well. They weren't allowed in the infirmary with Drew, and had to stay behind.

All of them felt terrible for their newfound ally's condition, but for now, they decided to push forward.

"I think of this as a win-win.." Raiden admitted.

"What do you mean?" Jade questioned him.

"If the Gophers somehow come back and win, the threat of Onaga could be easily wiped out by a simple vote.. If the Bass win, then Shao _Kahn_ likely falls.. Our reason for coming here will have been completed, but we would still need to watch out for the other threat.."

Liu Kang, Jade, and Kitana nodded in understanding. Even though Kitana was on the Bass, she still had that mindset that it was _Princess _Of Edenia first, Reality Show contestant second..

Kung Lao wasn't present, because he would be up to bat soon.

To say it went well for the Bass...would be an understatement.

Every inning they scored at least once, and every time they were in the field, they were able to stop everything beyond a double.

Finally, Chef whistled out at the seventh inning. He looked down at a piece of paper given to him by the producers.

"In light of.. the _fact_, that the opposing team of the blah blah blah.."

Chef read down some more, before he got the idea of what it was trying to say.

"The score is ten nothin'! Mercy rule! Bass win!" Chef finally called out.

The Bass cheered. Jack was tired after all that. He had been pitcher and batting the whole game, but it was finally won. Zillum smirked in victory. They had triumphed yet again, and better yet, he had found a potential ally.

"RAHH!" Shao Kahn yelled, smashing his hammer down onto the field, knocking a giant crater in it. A lot of the campers ran away from the destruction and the Emperor's rage.

"Okay.." Harold softly spoke as he ran. "Can we like.. vote him _off_? My gonads are _not _what they used to be.. That knocks _quite _the chink in the armor of my wickedly mad skills.."

King Julien shrugged. "Oh, who needs to vote him off when we can eliminate another commoner! He's useless now anyways."

"Hey!" Jade exclaimed towards King Julien. "At least he _got _us to second base! What did _you _do the whole time?.. Oh that's right, _nothing_!"

"Jade.." Kitana tried to calm her friend. "It's not worth it."

"Yeah, the rat's not worth it. We can vote him off another time." Blue said, glaring at King Julien. "But I think our 'Captain,'" she glared at Shao Kahn. "Needs to go."

"Agreed.." Raiden said.

"Me too." Liu Kang interjected.

Meanwhile, the Bass were still celebrating. Duncan, Owen and DJ dumped water on Jack to celebrate the victory. Kyle was trying to hide his smile.

"To Jack _and _Onaga!" Owen Grady said with a grin. The entire team repeated that.

Onaga couldn't help but grin at that. Maybe.. being apart of this show _wouldn't _be so bad. And besides, he had made Shao Kahn go mad, so he was content..

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"Campers, there are thirty campers here, and only twenty nine marshmallows. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and you can never come back. _Ever_."

"Rexy," Chris said. "Erissare, Scorpion, Luke, Sam."

"Natasha, Rose, Ibilisi, Bucky Barnes, Steve, Trent, Lindsey, Heather,"

"Not surprised.." Heather confidently took her marshmallow before walking back to sit down. On her way back, Jade put her metal spear in Heather's path, causing her to trip and fall.

Everyone burst out laughing at that. Jade had done it out of revenge for what Heather said earlier in the day.

"Serves that bitch right." Erissare chuckled.

"I'm right _here_!" Heather reminded, not that anyone really cared.

"And?" Erissare asked, shooting her a smirk.

"Bridgette, Harold,"

"Boo-yah!" Harold said, pumping his fist down in victory. This caused Chris to cringe slightly.

"Eh...Randy, Squidward,"

"Fuck _YES_, brother! Woo!" Randy Marsh exclaimed, scarfing down his marshmallow.

"Whatever.." Squidward said with a sigh, his expression uncaring.

"Hank Hillbilly, Liu Kang, Raiden,"

"It's.. _Hill_.." Hank reminded Chris, unamused.

"Jade, Sub-Zero, Drew,"

Sub-Zero used his ice slide to quickly make it to the front, claiming his marshmallow. Meanwhile, Drew was currently in a wheelchair, a cast on his arm with multiple bandages. Jade grabbed her own marshmallow, as well as his, giving it to him.

She looked at him with pity and.. something rather unexplainable, as she went to sit back down.

"Blue, Palpatine, Caesarius, Vader, Lee."

Now, it was down to Shao Kahn and King Julien. Julien's face began to fall as he began to worry.

Shao Kahn didn't look worried at all. In fact, he had his arms crossed in utmost confidence.

"Just give me my puff of sugar so that we may be on our way.." Shao Kahn told Chris, growing impatient.

Chris held up the marshmallow, but stopped, and hesitated.

Julien was getting nervous. This...wasn't good.

If only Mort was here, he could have Mort get eliminated in his place-

"Julien."

Julien caught his marshmallow just in time.

"_WHAT_!?" Shao Kahn yelled, his voice booming and echoing across the island.

Elsewhere, Onaga chuckled to himself. That's when he _knew _what had happened..

Shao Kahn had been voted off, in the second episode..

"Yup, sorry dude, but you got kicked off the island." Chris said, starting to chuckle.

"By the way, as per the deal, you lost, so you can't invade Earthrealm again."

"RRAGHHH!" Shao Kahn once again held up his hammer with a yell. He towered over Chris, stomping his way towards him in an attempt to end his life.

"_No one _defies Shao Kahn! _No _on-"

_ZAP!_

Shao Kahn trembled repeatedly, as Raiden used his newfound lightning powers to zap Shao Kahn until he fell to the ground, completely unconscious. His hammer slipped out of his hand, crashing to the ground, sending a light shockwave which could be felt for quite a distance.

As the defeated Emperor was dragged off, Chris turned to the Gophers. "The rest of you are safe. For now."

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Scorpion waited alongside Sub-Zero, who looked at him with suspicion.

"Why have you dragged me out here, Scorpion?" Sub-Zero questioned. "What are we waiting on?"

Scorpion stood there for a couple seconds, before responding,

"You shall _see_, Kuai Liang.."

Finally, Zillum entered into view, followed by Jack. Zillum nodded to Scorpion, and then to Sub-Zero.

Sub-Zero looked at Zillum with suspicion and shock.

"What is going on!? Those two are _Bass_.." Sub-Zero pointed out.

"We are forming an inter-team alliance." Zillum stated. "That way, we can eliminate the people we _want _gone, no matter who wins one of these challenges. Don't deny that there are still threats here."

Jack frowned, but had to agree. Sub-Zero did the same, looking down slightly, before looking back up at Scorpion,

"And why have you chosen me?"

"You are a _worthy _opponent, Sub-Zero.. That much I _do _know from our past encounters.. But as an _ally_, especially in this stupid binding agreement we have made with the _Thunder _God, who's to say that _we _couldn't win the prize _ourselves_?" Scorpion told him.

Sub-Zero looked down for a moment, before he firmly looked up and nodded. It seemed that was enough to convince Sub-Zero.

"Exactly." Zillum said. "We're all strong contestants on our own. Together, we can control the game from the inside."

"I couldn't agree _more_.." A voice said aloud, stepping out from the shadows.

They all looked over towards the source of the voice, and there stood _Duncan_, who was carving a skull into the wooden building he was standing beside.

"How long have you _been _there!?" Scorpion demanded.

"About 5 minutes.. Give or take." Duncan answered, before he stepped more out into the open.

Zillum cocked a brow. "You were on this stupid competition before, correct?"

"So you _have _done your homework.." Duncan smirked, before he added, "And not to mention I made it to the final _five _last time.. I was only booted off because of _Owen's _stupid decision to eat Chef's sticky buns, which cost us the challenge.. Then the girls voted me off because _I _was the superior competitor.."

Duncan paused briefly, before finishing,

"If there's _anything _I know besides Juvy and woodcarving, it's how to _win_! Now, I won't tell about this alliance either way, but all _I'm _saying is, you'd probably be wise to have me be apart of your team.. Just sayin'.."

Zillum and the others looked to each other, before Zillum said simply. "Done."


	3. 3, They Came, They Saw, They Lost

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "The Campers engaged in America's national past-time. There were big winners, and big time losers! But in the end, the Bass won in the seventh inning thanks to the _mad _skills of Jack and Onaga's leadership! Shao-Kahn was voted off for his failure, leaving the Gophers two behind. Will they come back? Find out in the most shocking episode _yet _on Total. Drama. Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

"Goddammit, Cartman!" Kyle yelled, chasing Cartman around the camp. Cartman had a picture of him from the first challenge and he was going to upload it to FaceBook.

Cartman couldn't help but laugh at Kyle's misery as he was being chased.

"Gotta be quicker than that.. Jew!" Cartman tried to insult, now beginning to wheeze due to his weight.

He wasn't paying attention, and Jack took the phone from his hand, and threw it to Kyle.

Kyle grinned as he caught it.

"Aw, _weak_!" Cartman exclaimed, rushing to get the phone back. "Gimme back my phone, asshole!"

Kyle booked it in the other direction, deleting the picture, and then as revenge, uploading a picture of Cartman in drag.

"That kid is really annoying..." Owen Grady muttered, walking up to Jack alongside Johnny Cage and Duncan.

"And tubby.." Duncan added.

"That annoying fat kid keeps calling me a _hippy _too! I'm not a hippy! Just because I'm a Hollywood actor does _not _make me one of them.." Johnny Cage felt compelled to say, crossing his arms in frustration.

"Agreed. Any idea on what our challenge will be this week?" Jack asked.

"Don't know." Owen Grady shrugged.

"Based on the first season? And the first couple episodes here?" Duncan began. "Probably something stupid.."

"Most likely." Skipper said as he passed by.

"LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE COCK-ROACHES! ALL CAMPERS ARE TO REPORT TO THE DOCK OF SHAME AT 0900 HOURS!" Chef yelled over the intercom.

Jack blinked.

"Oh boy.." Duncan muttered, having already been through this routine.

"THAT MEANS _NOW _SOLDIERS NOW!"

Everyone immediately began to book it towards the dock, most screaming in slight fear and shock; Duncan ran with no reaction whatsoever, Johnny Cage ran towards the dock while putting on his lucky $500 sunglasses, while Cartman simply crawled his way there, due to being so tired of running after Kyle.

When they got there, they saw Chef waiting for them in his drill sergeant uniform, while even CHRIS had a military uniform on.

"ATTENTION!" Chef yelled, and the campers stood at attention.

Chris walked forward, five stars on his shoulder. "Today's challenge, is a good old fashioned war."

He motioned to Chef, who threw a rifle at him. Chris caught it. "You start on one side of the island or the other, and you win by either taking the enemy base, or by killing off their team."

"Um, Chris?" Gwen began to ask, raising her hand with her usual neutral expression. "Those rifles aren't.. _loaded_, right?"

Heather simply rolled her eyes, responding,

"Pfft.. Of _course _they're not."

Chris aimed at the sky, and fired. There was a loud gunshot, and a bird fell from the sky.

A few immediately paled.

"Um, is this even _legal_?" Bridgette asked in evident and nervous fear.

"I think Chris has finally gone off the deep end.." Duncan commented to no one in particular.

After a tense few seconds, Chris began to laugh. "YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACES?! Basically, they'll knock you out if you're hit."

"Each team will be divided into three squads, with one camper, chosen by Chef here, being named General of their team. Anyone who _doesn't _follow the orders of their general, is immediately kicked off the island. Each Squad will get a few rifles, a machine gun, three tanks for the Bass and two for the Gophers, and an artillery gun. The teams have been chosen as follows."

"The Generals, are Onaga,"

Onaga simply nodded, chuckling wickedly, eying the opposing team.

"And Robert E. Lee."

All eyes turned to the Southern General, who seemed surprised, but quickly nodded stoically. "Oh, and this challenge will require _everyone _to be on the same level. So all powers have been removed for the duration of the challenge. You fight with a good old fashioned rifle. Fun, huh?"

"No." Scorpion said.

"Well you don't make the rules. The Squirrels do. And they said you all have the same level of strength for this challenge. Oh, and if your general is killed, automatic defeat."

"Kill Onaga?" Johnny Cage confidently began. "Ha! Good luck.."

"If he's hit, he's out." Chris replied simply. He then shot Chef with one of the pistols. There was a loud bang, before Chef fell to the ground, snoring loudly.

"Works everytime..." Chris chuckled.

"Okay, so that's it? General leads, you shoot bad guys or take over base, then game over?" Drew asked simply.

"Yup. Bass you have the western half of the island, Gophers, east. You won't know where the enemy base is, so you have to hunt it down. Oh, and watch out for the bears."

"You're insane..." Jack muttered.

"A little." Chris agreed.

"You have one hour to get ready. After that, you're moving out."

"One hour.." Onaga muttered in disdain. "Hmph.. Give me and my soldiers five _minutes_, and we shall be ready to conquer entire _realms_!"

"One last thing, Sergeants get radios to communicate with their general."

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Lee looked over the map of the island. The rest of his team waited. "Sergeants?" He asked, looking up from his analysis of the situation.

Raiden, Scorpion, and Heather, who were Sergeants, looked up at Lee, listening to what he had to say.

"We don't know the enemy's exact location, so for the time being, I want Scorpion and Heather's squads to take up defensive positions across this river in the center of the island, and at this hill to the north of it. Raiden, you are to take your squad and try to pinpoint the main enemy army. Once you have, you are to report in, and force a battle. From there, we will reinforce you. Heather, you are to take your squad and flank them while Scorpion and Raiden hit their main force to distract it."

Heather cocked a brow and rudely asked no one in particular,

"Can anyone repeat what he just said in _English_?"

"He _said_, keep your _mouth _shut and do as you're told so we can fulfill these ridiculous obligations put forth by that '_Chris_', mortal!" Scorpion raised his voice to Heather.

"Wow.." Heather muttered. "Someone needs a chill pill.."

"Focus. We have a smaller army, so we need to be prepared. Heather, when the main battle begins, you are to attempt to get around them and attack from behind." Lee clarified.

Heather sighed and gave a salute.

"Got it, Bobby.." She then roughly turned to her squad and demanded with a clap. "Hey! Come on! We don't got all day now.. Go get into positions to get around them or, whatever.. Just win us this challenge! The Gophers will _not _lose another one! Got it?"

"Yes..." Vader growled, saluting slightly. He hated this Machine Gun. He would _much _rather wield his lightsaber.

Lee motioned for Drew to join him for a second.

"Yes, sir, General Lee?" Drew questioned with a bit of a grin, before attaining a serious expression.

"When you find the enemy, keep as much pressure on them as possible. Don't aim to kill, aim to deny them opportunity to move. That will give us time to regroup. I trust you can handle this? I know a good Southern soldier when I see one."

Drew then saluted with a grin.

"That's why you were a Confederate General, sir.." Drew responded, before adding, "And got it.."

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Meanwhile, the Bass were discussing their strategy.

"There _is _no strategy!" Onaga exclaimed. "Not if you do it the way _I _have.. I won't lie, I have utilized master strategy in battle during my rule of Outworld for _thousands _of years.. However, the more powerful I grew, the more I began to realize something.. Who _needs _strategy when you can simply take something over by brute aggression and _force_!?"

There was a slight pause, before Onaga finished,

"The first step is to find our enemies' base. Step two, unload _everything _until there is no one left standing! Step three," Onaga then gave a toothy grin. "bask in the glory of _victory_!"

Zillum and Carandial looked to each other, exchanging knowing, worried looks. That was _not _a good strategy, but they had to bite their lips if they wanted to win this challenge. Skipper seemed to agree.

"Orders, General?" Skipper asked.

"Locate them!" Onaga commanded.

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Raiden led his squad through the forest. The tanks were moving slowly, while Drew followed the riflemen. It was quiet. Only distant birds in the distance could be heard. They were nearing the river now.

"You think we'll be able to find the Bass before they find us?" Luke asked Drew, holding the rifle nervously.

Drew gripped his machine gun a bit tighter, before he answered,

"I'm gonna be honest.. I don't know.. I mean, apparently Onaga _used _to be a General of Outworld too! So who _knows _what someone that terrifying can come up with?"

They kept moving a bit, before the sound of a flowing river could be heard. They reached the river bank, and saw they had arrived on the crest of the hill.

"Report, Raiden." Lee radioed the Thunder God.

Raiden looked across the river, the sound of the river flow still peacefully echoing around them.

"This is Raiden.." Raiden began. "No sign of Onaga's troops yet."

"Understood. We're moving to assist you if you need aid. You are to take up a defensive position."

Luke rushed to the bank, along with Drew and Caesarius, who readied his rifle. The Libertus scanned the treeline. "See anything?" He asked Drew and Luke.

"Nothing." Luke replied.

"I see a river and a bunch of trees.." Drew felt compelled to comment.

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Carandial followed behind the tank column as it moved through the forest. Jack's tank was at the front, while Dale's was in the middle and Homer brought up the rear.

Jack scanned the treeline, as they approached the river, before he held up his hand. The tanks stopped.

"Report." Carandial said.

"Looks like enemy machine gunners up there." Jack said. "Dale, Homer, with me." He said.

"Okay." Homer replied, driving up to Jack's right.

"These bastards won't know what hit 'em!" Dale confidently yelled with a cigarette in his mouth, which Chris had so 'graciously' decided to offer him for this one challenge.

"Advance." Carandial ordered.

Alex and Cate were some of the riflemen in their squad, and readied themselves to fight.

"Alex, Cate, you guys stay behind the tanks, everyone look alive." Jack ordered.

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There was a sudden explosion from the treeline! Drew, Luke, Caesarius and everyone in Raiden's squad jumped when they heard it. A shell soared overhead, hitting a rock and covering it in paint.

"Not to alarm anyone," Drew sarcastically began with narrowed eyes. "but I think they're here.."

Indeed, out of the forest, a column of three tanks began to advance, followed closely by soldiers. It was an eerie sight. It was a bit foggy, and to see these weapons of war roll out…

The tank in the center opened fire, followed by the tank on the right.

Raiden and his squad began to take cover, before the thunder god ordered,

"Hank! Randy! Return fire!"

Hank Hill drove forward carefully, yet with ferocity. He was _ready _to win this battle, and bring himself one step closer to that $100,000!

Randy Marsh, on the other hand, caught _everyone _off guard when he _quickly _drove forward with all out aggression, screaming,

"Yeeeeahhh! You're goin' down you fuckin' fishes!"

The five tanks closed on each other, until first 'blood' was drawn. One of Hank's shells hit Homer's tank dead center, and the tank halted as Homer was flung out of the turret and faceplanted into the ground.

"That was even more painful than it looked..." Homer whimpered, before he went out.

That left the three troopers behind Homer's tank exposed, and Randy tried to fire on them, before Jack's tank rushed between them, and with one well placed shot, took out Randy's tank.

At that moment, however, Dale started to panic. Inside of his tank, unbeknownst to him, there was a hidden communicator that was planted inside, unlike the other tanks..

"This is the FBI! We have triangulated your position, and _know _what you've been up to, Mr. Gribble!" The voice over the communicator spoke. Though really it was only just Chef, who attempted to disguise his voice. To anyone else, it would have been obvious. But to Dale, he simply did not catch on, letting out a scream of pure fear and paranoia.

"AHHHH!" Dale screamed at the top of his lungs, exiting his tank, falling to the ground, and beginning to run away. "They'll _never _get me! _Never_! Rusty Shackleford will _live _on!"

This prompted a facepalm from Hank Hill, even though he was on the opposite team.

"Dammit, Dale.." Hank Hill muttered in annoyance while continuing to drive his tank. "Now h'wat?.."

The two remaining tanks closed in on Carandial's Squad. "Fall back!" Carandial yelled.

Jack continued to drive forward, and fired at the enemy team, catching Luke and Caesarius, only just missing Drew.

Hank aimed the gun of his tank, and fired, but Jack had already exited, and with his pistol, began to retreat to join his team, firing several rounds in the enemy direction. But they were retreating to a hill not too far away.

At that moment, Raiden's squad heard the sound of the rest of their army approaching, and in the distance, the enemy army as well.

The battle was about to be decided.

Lee joined the team, and looked through his binoculars. "Heather, flank the enemy. The rest of you, move forward and destroy them. We'll rout them in one sharp blow."

"Jade, Liu Kang, Apollo?" He then asked.

"Copy." Apollo reported, while Jade and Liu Kang joined him.

"Hit them with everything you have."

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The Bass were busy forming up their army. Zillum, Carandial and Skipper had formed a defensive line along the hills. As they did so, Onaga arrived.

"Why have we not _won _already!?" Onaga came stomping in, fuming. He stood in front of all his team, who were dead silent. "Well? Someone had best answer me!"

The camera then zooms out to show Chris, who chuckles wickedly.

"I think _I _know why.. But _I'll _never tell." Chris then gave a wink to the camera, before he turned to watch the live footage some more.

"We're trying to salvage a victory," Zillum said curtly. "Had the entire army been there we could have taken out an entire squad, but you sent just one squad against a well prepared position."

Onaga turned to Zillum with a roar, looking down at him.

"When I once ruled Outworld, it didn't _take _but one group of my soldiers to conquer an entire _realm_! You all are simply weak _minded_! That is _all_.. Had you been more willing to fight and push through, and look for better openings, while _also _being as aggressive as possible, then you _would _have won that battle!..."

"We aren't the soldiers you led. I'm trying to save this challenge." Zillum shot back. "They _did _try to push through. Had Jack not been there, the entire squad would have been taken out! Aggression doesn't always win battles!"

"You know what _else _doesn't win battles!?.." Onaga challenged, his voice getting lower and deeper.

Zillum met his stare with an equally hateful glare, daring him to continue.

"Not listening to your obvious _superior_.." Onaga finished with a knowing, wicked grin.

Zillum froze, and before he could reply, a battlecry sounded out from the trees as artillery began to hit the Bass' army.

Onaga couldn't help but chuckle at this as he saw some of his men go down. He stared at Zillum briefly before he told him,

"Good luck.."

With that, Onaga casually stomped away as the fire continued to rain down.

Jack opened fire with his pistol, as Heather's squad began to charge.

Another of their tanks was taken out.

Taking a deep breath, Jack looked to his squad.

"With me!" Jack yelled. "Who will come with me?" He yelled, grabbing a rifle from a 'dead' soldier.

He motioned to the enemy squad, and yelled. "With me!"

There was a bit of hesitation, before the army rushed down the hill at Heather's team.

Heather's response to the charging men was widened eyes. She looked at the soldiers under her command, before she took off running in the opposite direction.

"Uh uh… _Nope_! I am _not _about to get trampled by these brutes! You're on your own.." Heather shouted as she ran away.

Vader turned to look at the charging enemy army. "Fall back!" He ordered, using his machine gun to fell several enemy soldiers, before retreating.

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The Gophers were moving forward, when they saw a few of Heather's squad _booking _it in the other direction. Half of them were missing.

"What the fuc-" Drew began to say, before the _entire _Bass army burst from the treeline, and rushed them full force.

Kyle rushed forward aiming his rifle, and took out Caesarius, while artillery fire from Patrick took out a few soldiers in the back.

Jack was rushing forward at the front, followed by Zillum, Carandial and Skipper. "Push on!" Carandial yelled.

The camera zooms out once again, this time showing Chris _and _Onaga sitting in the control room. Onaga looked at the screen in shock.

"_Impossible_!" He exclaimed. "How is it that they are _still _winning this challenge!? I gave them the _worst _strategy I could think of!"

"I have to say, I'm impressed..." Chris commented. "Great ratings! _And _with our little surprise, one of your biggest rivals will get removed if the Gophers lose..."

Onaga smirked wickedly, knowing _full _well who he was talking about.

"Might I give a suggestion for who gets voted off the _Bass _team if we somehow lose?.." Onaga asked.

"Zillum?" Chris asked with a chuckle.

"Correct.." Onaga evilly chuckled along with him. "You would have made a _fine _advisor for me in Outworld.. Your mind is a _devious _one."

"When you win the season, perhaps I could be an advisor, when your prize is handed out?"

The shot ended with Onaga looking over at Chris, his devious grin saying it all.

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Lee looked over the battle. The Gopher army had been nearly destroyed. He saw Drew was one of those who survived, and had succeeded in taking out a few enemy soldiers. Lee narrowed his eyes, and picked up a pistol, before joining the team.

Drew looked to his left to see a fierce and determined looking Jade, who also was left standing. Jade turned her head before the two's eyes met, which caused them to widen for a brief moment.

Drew sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, holding his machine gun in the other, looking like he wanted to say something.

However, before he could, he was cut off by the sounds of gunfire in their direction. Drew and Jade both gave a simultaneous frustrated sigh, before assuming their positions and regaining focus.

Lee joined them, and the three took down a number of enemy soldiers, but finally, Duncan's tank led the way forward for a final assault, Kyle close behind.

Jade fired off another round of her artillery, before she noticed a _very _familiar face looking at her on the opposing side. It was Kitana, and she had a machine gun.

Kitana looked down and to the side, as if debating what she wanted to do, while Jade simply stood there, frozen, observing her friend. Finally, Kitana took a deep breath, and narrowed her eyes.

She aimed the gun at Jade and prepared to pull the trigger, causing Jade to widen her eyes and remain frozen in place.

However, just as Kitana opened fire, Drew shoved Jade out of the way, taking the shots in his shoulder himself.

"AGHH!" Drew yelped in pain, falling directly to the ground and dropping his gun.

"Drew!" Jade exclaimed with her eyes widened, before they quickly narrowed. Kitana was in the middle of reloading, before Jade picked up the machine gun Drew had dropped and opened fire on Kitana.

Kitana didn't even see it coming, and she fell to the ground unconscious. Jade closed her eyes, hanging her head down in slight shame. She did _not _want to do that, but that had really set her off for a second.

Jade dropped the gun to the ground once more, and knelt by Drew's side, seeing if he was injured in any way. Drew was still recovering from the injuries Owen had given him in the baseball game, and besides, this was _Chris _who had given them these guns! Who _knew _if what he said was really true?

They had basically lost the challenge anyways.. _Again_...

Duncan's tank drove forward, and aimed his turret at Jade, before firing. Jade went down. Lee was all that was left. Kyle rushed forward, and aimed at Lee. Lee closed his eyes, accepting his fate. The redhead pulled the trigger.

It was over.

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Chris and Onaga looked at the footage in surprise. "Wow...they _actually _won."

"Unbelievable.." Onaga shook his head with a sigh. "How is it that I give them the worst strategy in my mind, and yet they _still _pull off the victory?.."

"No idea..." Chris chuckled.

"Well, at least you get to take out one of your enemies, and that kind of action at the end..." Chris chuckled. "_Great _for ratings! I mean, did you _see _Heather just haul ass out of the battle. _Awesome!_"

Onaga couldn't help but nod in agreement,

"As long as our agreement remains intact, then that is all that matters.."

With that, Chef walked in with a large platter.

"Filet mignon? I gotta serve these big babies up some leftover kitchen grease with a side of burnt eggs for dinner.. Figured I might as well cook up the _real _food early.." Chef then laughed evilly at the end.

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"I have to say, that was _awesome_!" Chris declared to both teams. "That kind of thing gets us great ratings! And Jack, that little charge at the end!"

"Gophers, meet me at the Bonfire ceremony, again."

"Great!" Heather exclaimed. "That's just _great_! Why do we keep _losing_, people!?" She had said that _same _thing in season 1, and now she was using it again..

"There is no _time _for that!" Lee yelled suddenly. "This team did everything they could to win, so don't blame them." He said angrily.

Onaga chuckled wickedly as he stood beside his team. He looked at Zillum from the corner of his eye and commented,

"I guess that is what _happens _when you listen to your General's _strategy_.."

Zillum bared his teeth in frustration. "We won because of Jack and this team, not because of you..."

"And what _was _it I said to do for our strategy at the beginning of the challenge!?" Onaga turned to Zillum. "Go on.. Enlighten me. We are all waiting.."

"A suicidal frontal attack." Zillum responded. "We may have won because the team was aggressive, but it was a fluke. Any other time, and it could have ended badly."

"You are simply jealous that you were not given the General position.." Onaga casually commented. "I understand.. Being a dictator must _really _be difficult when you have no power.."

Zillum clenched his fists, before looking away.

*_Confession Cam_*

"He's out of here when we lose!" Zillum snarled.

_*Confession Cam*_

"He is _out _of here when we lose.. HAHAHA!" Onaga evilly laughed knowingly.

_*End Confession Cam*_

Lee took a deep breath. "It's my fault." He said to the team. "I accept full responsibility for our failure. I accept my fate."

"Don't blame yourself, Lee.." Drew softly told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Drew was still in slight pain from his elimination in the challenge, but pushed through it. "You gave it your all, and we just didn't come out on top this time.. That's all."

Lee sighed, and nodded. "Still, you all were brave soldiers out there. I am proud of you."

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Drew sat on the Dock Of Shame, his feet dangling off the dock. The moon was high in the sky now, as the crickets began to chirp. Drew gave a sigh, before he hung his head down with a sigh.

Three times the Gophers have lost now. _Three_!

He couldn't help but feel partially _responsible _for it.. He had gotten injured in the baseball challenge, and now in _this _one, he wasn't looking out for his fellow soldiers enough, in his mind..

Drew's peace was cut short when he heard footsteps approaching from behind him on the dock. Drew looked behind him, and widened his eyes to see that it was-

"J- Jade?.." Drew softly said.

Jade nodded her head, responding,

"Yes, Drew.. I.. just wanted to speak with you."

Drew was taken aback by that. What did _she _possibly have to say to him!?

"O- Okay.." Drew nervously said. Jade sat down on the dock beside him, before she looked at him. She gave a sigh, and said,

"I just wanted to.. _thank _you.. for what you did back there."

"Wha- What do you mean?.." Drew softly asked in return.

"Back on the battlefield.." Jade reminded. "You _saved _me from Kitana's gunfire.. _Why_?"

Drew's eyes widened once more, before he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

"Uh, well.. I- Um, you see what I _meant _to do was-"

Jade cut him off by putting her hand over his mouth. Jade took off her green, veil-like mask, which was covering her face, which revealed that she was smiling in an amused way.

"Drew.. Why are you so nervous? You've been acting this way ever since day _one_. What's going on?"

Jade removed her hand to let Drew speak. Seeing Jade smile couldn't help but make _Drew _smile as well. However, it was _clear_, he was _very _nervous!

"It's- It's nothing, Jade.. _Really_-"

"No it's not, Drew.." Jade cut him off once more, her expression becoming more serious. She gave a sigh before she added, "I _won't _be angry.. It _won't _affect our positions as allies.. I just want to know, is all.. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Drew looked like he wanted to make another excuse, but the pleading look in Jade's emerald eyes convinced him that he might as well just come out and say it..

Drew sigh, took a deep breath, and told her,

"I… I think I might.. _like _you.."

Jade cocked a brow, as if slightly underwhelmed and confused.

"That's all?" Jade questioned. "We're _already _allies, so of course you would like m-"

"_No_.." Drew cut her off, ready to fully confess. "I mean, '_like_' as in.. You know.."

"But I don't?" Jade said, her brow still cocked.

"I think I _love _you, Jade!" Drew finally exclaimed. There was a long, lingering silence. Even the water of Lake Wawanakwa seemed to be at a standstill.

Drew's skin paled as he looked directly at the camera that was on them, before immediately looking back at Jade, ready to apologize.

"N- No! I didn't mean it that way- what I meant-"

Drew was cut off when Edenian lips locked with his own, causing him to immediately freeze and settle down. He sat back down on the dock beside her, as the passionate kiss continued.

Finally, they pulled away, leaving Drew with widened eyes. He put one of his hands on his lips in shock, just to confirm whether that was real or not.

"Did we- D- Does this mean?-" Drew began, before Jade gave a smirk, standing up,

"Don't push your luck.." She said in a mysterious, teasing manner, before she put her mask back on and walked away, waving goodbye.

Drew watched her leave, before once again, he turned to stare _directly _at the camera in shock.

_*Confession Cam*_

Drew sits there for a few seconds, his face holding that _same _level of shock, not saying a word.

_*End Confession Cam*_

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To say the mood for the Bass team was good would be an understatement. Three consecutive wins.

For Jack, that was amazing. The team was proud of each other, and aside from Onaga, there was genuine team spirit now…

Jack was going to change into his swimsuit. Chris had gotten them two hot-tubs for their victory.

As he approached the cabin, he was caught by surprise when he saw Kyle exit the cabin first. "Oh, hey!" Jack greeted. Kyle smiled slightly, a bit surprised as well.

"You did amazing out there today." Kyle said with a grin.

"So did you." Jack chuckled.

Kyle's smile widened, before he looked away. "What?" Jack asked.

"Um, nothing. It's nothing-" Kyle began, before Jack placed a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder.

"Come on, you can tell me."

Kyle looked at him, before sighing. "Alright..." He shrugged. "I...always kind of liked you." He said.

Jack blinked. Did he mean as a friend, or…

"I mean, you saved me in the first challenge, got rid of Cartman, and pretty much led us to victory in _two _Challenges!"

Kyle took a deep breath. "I...nevermind, it's stupid."

"No, it's not." Jack said with a slight smile. "You can tell me anything, Ky'."

Kyle hesitated for a second, before finally responding. "I'm gay. I like boys okay, and..."

Jack smirked. "You like me?"

Kyle blushed, before nodding. "I like you too." Jack replied.

Kyle stopped. "What?" He asked.

"Well, you're kind, funny, and kinda adorable." Jack replied.

Kyle blushed a bit more, before replying. "You're serious?" He asked.

"Yes, I am."

Kyle smiled. "You sure you want to date on National Television?"

"Eh, as long as you are okay with it."

Kyle chuckled.

Jack shrugged. "Let me change, and we'll go back to the party."

As he began to head inside, he stopped. "If I catch you staring through the door-"

Kyle's eyes widened, as Jack began to chuckle as he walked in to change.

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"Campers, there are thirty campers here, and only twenty nine marshmallows. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and you can never come back. _Ever_." Chris explained.

"We _get _it.." Scorpion spoke, impatient, and unamused.

"Luke, Drew, Bridgette." Chris said, tossing them their marshmallows.

"Jade, Rexy, Steve."

Jade caught her marshmallow, before looking over at Drew, who gave her a relieved and warm smile. Jade returned the smile, before she gave him a wink and bit into her marshmallow.

"First hookup of the _season_, you guys!" Heather shouted out, clearly just to draw attention and to be a bitch.

She was cut off when she received a half eaten marshmallow to the face, knocking her off her stump.

Blue rolled her eyes at Heather's antics.

"Vader, Liu Kang, Blue, Natasha,"

Vader caught the marshmallow, but offered it to Randy, because he couldn't eat it.

"Thanks, bro!" Randy exclaimed, holding out his fist trying to be 'hip'. He had learned it from Johnny Cage. When Vader continued to stare at him and leave him hanging, Randy added, "Hey, so you know that Simba lion guy that barely says a word? Well apparently he claims that sound sound _exactly _like his Dad! What, did you bang a lion or someth-"

Randy was cut off when Vader grabbed him by the throat. "Not another word." He said, before releasing him.

"It's cool, brah.." Randy pointed at Vader with two fingers pointing at him in a 'cool' way. "Understandable.. Lions aren't your type.."

Randy's gaze shifted a bit, before he twiddled his thumbs and asked,

"So what about Rexy? Are you into dinosau-"

Randy was cut off once again when Vader used the Force to throw him out into the woods.

"Harold, Caesarius, Palpatine, the Squirrels,"

"If we were in the Netherrealm," Scorpion began. "which I'm sure one day you will, I will _end _you!..."

"Yeah, but that's not now is it?" Chris asked with a smirk. "Sub-Zero, Hank Hill, Squidward and King Julien."

"Uh, can I have a better Marshmallow? This is not fit for a king!" Julien replied.

"Do us all a favor and jump in Lake Wawanakwa.." Drew rolled his eyes.

"Randy, Heather, Drew and Lindsay."

Chris used his 'football arm' to toss Randy's marshmallow _way _out into the woods where Vader had threw him.

"_Thanks, brodad_!" Randy shouted from in the woods, still trying to be cool like he thought Johnny Cage was.

"Wait a minute.." Liu Kang began. "_Heather _is safe!?"

"That's right, Liu.." Heather said in her 'gentle' bitch voice. "Sorry to disappoint, big boy.." She had thrown that jab at him because Liu Kang was one of the shorter male contestants, only standing at 5' 9".

"Scorpion, Trent, Bucky Barnes, Ibilisi, Rose, Sam."

Finally, there were only _two_.. Raiden and Robert E. Lee.

The two stared at each other, shock evident on both of their faces. Raiden had done nothing wrong, so he wasn't overly concerned that he was the one. Lee hung his head in shame, giving a sigh of defeat.

He stood up from his stump, preparing to walk the Dock Of Shame.

"Lee."

There was dead silence. "What?" Lee asked in utter shock.

"WHAT!?" Everyone else shouted, just as shocked.

Raiden had his eyes widened, his mouth agape, but said nothing.

Liu Kang stood up to his feet and protested,

"There _has _to be some kind of mix up! Did _anyone _here vote for Raide-" Liu Kang was cut off when Chris said,

"Raiden, Dock of Shame, bro."

Raiden stood to his feet, turning to his allies in Liu Kang, Jade, and Drew. He gave them a simple nod, as if telepathically telling them what their task was on this island:

"_Defeat Onaga.."_

With that, Raiden rose his right arm into the air, and lightning struck down on top of him, teleporting him away from Total Drama Island for good..

"The rest of you are safe, for now." Chris said. "And will someone use the Dock of Shame in the next episode? It's there for a _reason_, people! Or more importantly, it costs _money_!"

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Zillum narrowed his eyes as he waited to speak with Scorpion. Raiden's elimination was _most _unwelcome. And plus, Onaga was a threat that _had _to be dealt with…

Scorpion and Sub-Zero both met up at the spot Zillum had said the meet at; right behind the Boathouse, where they usually met.

"Why has the thunder god been eliminated?" Scorpion immediately questioned aloud.

"He did _nothing _that would have warranted it.." Sub-Zero added, crossing his arms. "Something _strange _is going on here.."

"I agree." Zillum stated. Duncan joined them soon after, though Jack was notably missing. "Where's Jack?" Zillum questioned, though he had an idea where he was.

"Making out with his boyfriend in the Bass cabin.." Duncan pointed in the cabin's general direction with a smirk.

"Very well, the point is that we need to be ready for whatever that Dragon has planned. I know he had something to do with it." Zillum stated. "We need to expand our alliance. We need enough people to force an elimination of Onaga soon."

Everyone else nodded in full agreement.

"If there's one thing I know about Onaga," Scorpion began in his brimstone voice. "It's that he is a _master _of deception.."

"Deceiving the Deceiver is infinitely more challenging," Zillum mused. "But infinitely more satisfying. We have a week before the next challenge, we need to be ready."

"Agreed.." Sub-Zero said.

"That Dragon might be terrifying," Duncan began, carving a skull into the side of the Boathouse. "but he will _not _win this game! All we need to do is make sure the Bass team _loses_, and then make sure _everyone _votes him out! Simple.."

"Agreed."

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"I have to say, it's cute that they think that..." Chris chuckled, him and Onaga watching the Alliance's conversation on the camera monitors. They had a camera set up on the Boathouse, which caught everything they said and did.

"I could crush every single _one _of them like that cockroaches that infest those wretched cabins at _anytime _I wanted!" Onaga exclaimed, smirking wickedly. "But I will admit, it's _fun _to let them think they're oh so powerful.."

"Yeah.." Chris laughed. "See I _would _let you do so for ratings, but the only _problem _with that is, it's kind of 'illegal' and could give us 'lawsuits'.. So yeah, sorry bro.."

Onaga chuckled slightly.

"No matter.. I'll just have to beat them at their own game.. As a matter a fact? I want _no _advantages in any challenges! All I ask is invincibility for when our team loses.. I'll show them who the _real _King is around here.. These challenges shall be dominated by _myself_!"

"I shall dominate this Island, and then eventually, all the realms!" Onaga finished in exclamation.


	4. 4, Miss Wawanakwa

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "The two teams fought an all out war! Just when it looked like the Gophers were going to pull through, the Bass came back with a _bang_ and cut them down to size. Despite Lee's brilliant planning, the Gophers had suffered their third consecutive defeat, which in turn cost them one of their most _electrifying _competitors.. Will they finally be able to come back, or is their goose finally cooked? Stay tuned for the most exciting episode yet! On Total. Drama. Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

It was early morning, and both teams were in the Mess Hall, eating the latest slop Chef called food. Kyle was trying to use his spoon to pull some food from the plate, but ended up flinging it back and getting onto his face.

"Goddammit..." He growled, before Jack got a napkin and wiped the food from his forehead.

"There, better?" Jack asked with a smile. Kyle nodded with a smile.

Drew, meanwhile, sat at his own table just adjacent to theirs, his eyes narrowed in exhaustion while picking at the gray slop with his fork. Eventually, the fork got completely stuck in there, and he couldn't get it out.

Drew sighed, and simply leaned on his hand, waiting for Chris to inevitably give them their next torturous challenge.. His team had lost three times in a row already, and some of the Bass didn't let any of them forget it.. Mostly Cartman and Johnny Cage.

The door to the mess hall opened, causing Drew to shift his gaze slightly. He widened his eyes, taken aback when he saw that it was Jade. He immediately fixed his posture and overall demeanor, sending her a friendly smile and a slight wave.

Jade noticed this and gave a slight giggle, before returning the wave and walking towards him. She sat down at his table, and the two began to converse.

"So.." Drew began, trailing off with a nervous grin.

"Sooo.." Jade trailed off herself with a smirk and eye roll, scooting noticeably closer to him.

Drew couldn't help but blush at this, as did Jade. However, just as it looked like things were going to get a bit more interesting, they were interrupted by a loud door opening, and Chris walking in with a tuxedo on.

Drew, Jade, and everyone else in the mess hall who had their own conversations going, audibly groaned in annoyance.

"Campers, the producers decided that you were getting off _way _too easy!" Chris began.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that..." Apollo growled.

"So we're taking things up a notch."

"Taking things up a notch?.." Drew spoke up with narrowed eyes. "Fighting giant dinosaurs, suffering broken bones, getting _shot _in the face? Those ain't good enough for you!?" '

"Um..." Chris began. "No." He said with a shit-eating grin.

"So today, Chef, myself, and our good friend the Joker are going to be judging a _beauty pageant_."

"OH NO!" Everyone in the mess hall exclaimed.

"Oh _yes_!" Lindsay shouted in squealing excitement, clapping her hands. "Ooh! Connor? Can I be a contestant? Can I? _Can _I!? Pretty please!"

"If your team Managers say yes, then maybe." Chris replied. "Each team will have three Managers, who will decide who competes in the pageant. Four boys and four girls per team."

"Oh, oh!" Lindsay exclaimed once more, raising her hand. "I nominate Tyler to be one of the managers!"

"The managers for each team are: Vader, Scorpion and King Julien for the Gophers,"

"Ha! Finally a good challenge! I am a _natural _judge of beauty." Julien said. "And can tell when _some _commoners," he looked at Drew. "Have no sense of style..."

Drew simply rolled his eyes with his arms crossed.

"Oh, bite me.." Drew muttered.

"You _cannot _be serious!" Scorpion growled at Chris. "I have no _time _for these feminine antics!"

"If you don't participate, you have to say you like Squirrels." Chef said, chuckling sadistically.

"Will you just _chill _about the damned squirrels?.." Sub-Zero said with rolled eyes.

"_Ba dum tiss!" _Someone on a nearby drum set played, causing all the campers to look in that direction. It was revealed to be The Joker.

"What?" The Joker asked with a chuckle. "It was _punny_!"

"And for the Bass: Jack, Zillum and Onaga."

Jack blinked, while Zillum just facepalmed. "Of course..."

Onaga said nothing, only standing there with his arms crossed. He had been well informed of this beforehand.

"Oh, and if someone drops out, then the team is eliminated." Chris added.

"You have the day to figure out a plan, and nominate contestants."

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The Bass team was currently around their main cabin, going through some ideas. Kyle had offered to get snacks for the team, and was on his way back, when he saw Cartman approaching him with a look of annoying mischief.

"_Hello _again, Kyle.." Cartman smirked, clearly up to something.

"What do you want fatass?" Kyle groaned, rolling his eyes in frustration.

"Nothing, faggot.." Cartman responded, rolling his eyes and mocking him. He then gave an overdramatic thinking pose. "Hmm.. well _actually_, those snacks _do _look pretty nice.. Hand them over!"

Kyle blinked. "Dude, they're for the team. I'm bringing them back so we _all _have something to eat. Not just your fatass."

"Uh, no, they're _not_!" Cartman yelled extremely loud. This was surprisingly the most pissed off Kyle had ever _seen _Cartman. "I have had _nothing _but that _shit _that so called 'Chef' has been serving for the past couple _weeks_! Sometimes, I even go _without_! I'm sick of this goddamn show! Now give me those _goddamn _chips before I shove them up your ass, you gay Jew!"

Kyle backed up a bit in surprise. "Dude, just back off. You'll get some in a bit."

He then narrowed his eyes and snapped back. "And stop being so dramatic. We're all suffering here. You're not the only one. Besides, you could _use _some missed meals."

After that, Cartman was eerily silent.. He just kind of… _stood _there, not saying anything for a few seconds. This kind of put Kyle on edge.

"You know what, Kyle?.." Cartman began, surprisingly calm. "You could have handed them over, but I'm afraid you leave me no choice.."

He then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, showing him a certain _photo_..

"See _this_, Kyle!? The picture you supposedly _deleted_!?" Cartman yelled out.

Kyle's eyes were widened, and he was too stunned to say a word.

"You would be _very _surprised to know how fast Butters will spread that shit around!" Cartman exclaimed with a wicked smile. "I texted it to him before your gay boyfriend helped you 'delete' it.. It's all over South Park, and probably all over the _world _by now.. Isn't the internet _great_, Kyle?.."

Kyle began to tremble in rage and horror. No, he was bluffing! He hadn't! Had he…?

"You...didn't..." Kyle muttered, before he saw Zillum step into view, along with Duncan and Jack, all three of whom looked they were getting angry. That was _low_…

"_Not _cool, tubby!" Duncan yelled out. "See _normally _I'd be laughing, but Heather reading Gwen's diary made me realize something.." Duncan stepped up to Cartman and grabbed him by the shirt. "There are _certain _things that you do _not _reveal to the whole world! _Especially _on worldwide TV!"

Zillum took a step forward, and glared at Cartman. "You just dug your own grave." He snarled.

While Jack walked over to Kyle, who looked absolutely horrified.

"One way or another you are _off _this island!" Zillum added.

Duncan looked down at Cartman, who had a stunned and slightly _scared _look on his face. Sure, he could handle Kyle by himself, but with all _these _guys here?

Duncan shoved Cartman to the ground, right at Jack's feet.

"He's all yours, Jacky boy.." Duncan chuckled, beginning to walk away. "Good luck, fatty.."

Cartman got to his feet, before Jack grabbed him by his shirt and clocked him _hard _in the face, enough to send him to the ground with a broken nose.

"If we lose this challenge I can personally guarantee you that you're going home and every person knows how much of a prick you are." Jack snapped.

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Zillum and Duncan returned soon after.

"What happened, guys?" DJ asked the pair, petting his pet Bunny.

"That fat kid went a bit too far." Zillum shrugged.

"Oh now this I _gotta _hear!" Johnny Cage said, hopping down from the top bunk, his sunglasses still on. He then approached the group, leaning against the wall in an over dramatic way. "Lay it on me.."

Duncan's response was simple and straightforward.

"Remember that time Heather read-"

"Gwen's diary?" DJ immediately guessed. "Yeah, bro.. That was like, _totally _messed up!"

"Oh no..." Gwen began. She could already see where this was going…

"Well Tubby McLardass decided it was a good idea to post a picture of Kyle in a maid's outfit from the first challenge _all _over social media.. Now it's spread worldwide." Duncan finally explained.

Bebe gasped in shock, and sadness for her friend.

"Oh no.. Poor _Kyle_.." She said aloud, looking down with closed eyes.

Johnny Cage approached her and 'smoothly' began to put his arm around Bebe and say,

"Don't worry, beautiful.. Johnny Cage is gonna make things alri-"

He was cut off by a smack to the face. Johnny Cage rubbed his hand over the wounded area and whined,

"_Owww_.. Touchy.." He then put his hands up in temporary surrender. "Fine, fine.. Have it your way. Oh and uh, the social media thing? Not cool, man.." He finally said to everyone else in the cabin.

"Yeah, that kid's a prick." Owen Grady muttered.

"You just don't pull stunts like that! Manfreddy and Johnson did something like that with the Chinstrap sisters, and we had to bury what was left of them with a teaspoon." Skipper said in agreement.

"Well.. what matters _now _is, that kid shouldn't be on this island for long.." Duncan smirked. "That is, if you'll all vote him off if we ever lose a challenge.. Anyone opposed to that?"

Pretty much everyone nodded or voiced their agreements.

"The tub of lard is _useless _to this team!" Onaga finally exclaimed, his voice shaking the whole cabin. "Unlike Owen, he has done _nothing _of use.. Even though there are _some_," he exaggerated, looking over at Zillum. "who I still currently hold in questionable regard.. I will agree that this 'Cartman', needs to go!"

Zillum narrowed his eyes a bit, but nodded in agreement.

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Meanwhile, the Gophers were setting up some plans. "Uh, next! Mort has more style!"

"Ohhh! God _dammit_!" Randy Marsh yelled in frustration, tossing down his pom poms he was using for a cheer routine tryout. He even had on a miniskirt, which wasn't exactly… _big _enough to cover everything..

Scorpion had his eyes narrowed, one of his hands covering his sight of Randy.

"You would be wise to walk away now.. _As well _as putting some pants on!"

Randy Marsh finally walked away in a grumble, before the next contestant was about to step up.

Squidward walked up in his usual dancing outfit, and began to dance the same routine he had done in the Krusty Krab talent contest.

"Stop!" Julien exclaimed, putting his hand up and his eyes closed. He spoke in a posh and arrogant way. "Who put _you _on the planet!? _Ugh_! Next!"

Harold walked up, but Julien immediately yelled, "Next!"

Harold exhaled sharply, before walking off the stage with his head down.

"Surprisingly he was the best contestant so far.." Scorpion muttered with his eyes rolled.

"By default." Vader agreed.

Erissare walked up in a ballerina outfit, and began to do a dance that actually...wasn't too bad. She was actually pretty good!

Julien was a little surprised, before Vader spoke. "Impressive. Most impressive."

Scorpion shrugged and added,

"I've seen worse.. I'm in agreement, also."

"Eh...okay!" Julien sighed.

Erissare grinned victoriously, before bowing.

"Next contestant!" Scorpion exclaimed, rubbing his head. "I would prefer to get this over with.."

Caesarius walked up, in a stylish Imperial Officer's uniform. He looked at the Judges, before he was thrown a rifle, and did some impressive gestures with it, such as twirling the rifle, juggling it, before standing at attention.

"A military focus.." Scorpion said aloud. "I approve."

"Agreed." Vader said.

"Eh, a bit too...stiff for my taste. If you did the Egyptian or-" Julien began.

"Just go with it." Vader said.

"I suggest you change your mind." Scorpion spoke in annoyance. "I would hate to rip out your spinal column.."

"Um...I approve?" Julien said nervously.

"Good.." Scorpion said, marking it down with a pencil. "Next!"

Randy Marsh began to walk up again, this time wearing only a cowboy hat and a jockstrap, before Vader picked him up with the force and threw him out of sight.

"A most wise decision.." Scorpion commented to Vader.

"I've seen some things that are disturbing...But that takes the cake." Vader mused.

Bridgette walked up.

"Ooh. Finally! A pretty lady actually is going to compete!"

"Hey!" Erissare yelled in the background.

"Approved." Scorpion immediately said before Bridgette even did anything.

"Congratulations." Vader said to Bridgette.

"Any _disagreements_, Julien?.." Scorpion narrowed his eyes at Julien.

Julien shook his head immediately.

"Oh! Uh.. Thanks, guys." Bridgette politely said with a slight smile, though still a bit confused, before walking off the stage.

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Onaga, Jack and Zillum sat at the table, waiting for the first contestant.

Bill Dauterive was the first to walk up, he waved to where the crowd would usually sit with a pathetic grin, even though there was no one there.

Onaga sighed and facepalmed. He could already tell they were going to be in for some _doozies_.. However, just as soon as he held a disappointed expression, it turned to a wicked and plotting smile.

Cartman needed to leave this island! _That _much was agreed upon by the Bass.. But the only way to _do _that was to lose the challenge..

However, they had to do it in a way that wasn't _too _suspicious, so they would pick their contestants accordingly, _just _enough to where they wouldn't earn enough points on the scorecards..

Onaga explained his plan in a whisper to Jack and Zillum, the other two managers, to which Jack had to grin a bit deviously. "Perfect..." He said.

Even Zillum was impressed. "Agreed. So the waste of space leaves the island tonight."

"Indeed.." Onaga laughed. "Oh, Mr. Dauterive!" He exclaimed, catching Bill's attention.

"Huh? What?" Bill questioned in shocked awareness.

"You are looking…" Onaga paused before he said what he was about to say, forcing down vomit. "_very _stunning today.."

Bill laughed in a high pitched way and rolled his eyes with a blush.

"Oh, _you_.." Bill muttered.

Jack winced. "Next!"

Homer walked up dressed up as a chocolate sprinkled donut with…

"How...did you make the middle part of the Donut disappear?" Zillum asked, referring to the empty area at the center.

"Made a deal with Flanders." Homer said simply.

Jack blinked, before nodding. "Um, approved."

"Not even the poison Shao Kahn once ailed me with has made me feel so sick to my stomach.." Onaga muttered with a sigh.

"I'll need some alcohol after this..." Zillum groaned, before Owen walked up in…

*BEEEPPPPPP!*

"Alright, Jack, Zillum, and Onaga have recovered after some therapy due to the sight of Owen in a stripper outfit."

Jack, Zillum and Onaga sat back at the table, all with blank, horrified expressions on their faces.

"So..." Zillum began.

"Approved. Let's get to the next contestant." Jack said.

Apollo walked up in a stylish outfit that...honestly would probably win them the challenge. After a bit of time, however, they remembered their plan.

"Nope.. Terrible! Worst I've ever seen!" Onaga exclaimed.

"Sorry, not quite what we're looking for." Zillum said.

"Next!" Jack yelled.

Apollo blinked, before walking off in disappointment.

Then, they heard loud laughing. Patrick flew in using...his pants as a parachute, with a flag stuck between his butt that read "Screaming Bass"!

He ended up crashing into the stage, and breaking it.

Jack blinked, before clapping. "That is _art_ right there!" Zillum said, feigning tears.

"If I were mortal," Onaga began. "I might consider offing myself.."

Patrick jumped up and down happily, before running back, past Apollo.

Patrick gave Apollo a smirk of over confidence before arrogantly patting his shoulder and saying,

"Better luck next time, junior.. I guess not _all _of us can look this good."

Apollo narrowed his eyes, before banging his head against the wall.

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In the end, Erissare, Bridgette, Jade, and Heather competed for the Gopher girls, while Bebe, Gwen, Leshawna and Kitana competed for the Bass girls. The Bass boys were led by Homer, Patrick, Owen and Bill, while Trent, Liu Kang, Caesarius and Hank led the Gopher boys.

Chris, Chef and Joker were the judges this time.

"Welcome back to Total Drama Island, with today's challenge, the _Beauty Pageant_!" Chris declared. "First up, the Gopher girls."

Bridgette walked up on the stage in a light blue bikini while holding her surfboard. She gave a few poses she thought might be good, before she finally twirled her surfboard in the air and caught it, ending her performance.

Chris grinned. "I have to say, 7.5!"

"8!" Chef yelled.

"9!" Said the Joker with a shrug. "What can I say? I'm a _sucker _for the beach.."

Erissare followed up the performance with her ballerina routine.

"Never thought a lizard could do that. 9!" Chris judged.

"A little too girly for my taste. 7!" Chef agreed.

"Ehh.." The Joker thought. "7.5"

Heather walked up on stage, _also _in a ballerina outfit. She looked at Erissare and complained,

"Oh you _cannot _be serious! Who authorized that she could steal my routine!? Hmm?.."

"Authorize my fist if you don't shut up!" Erissare snapped back.

"Make me, lizard breath!" Heather challenged, leaning forward with narrowed eyes.

"I WILL PUNCH MY WAY INTO YOUR FLAT CHEST, RIP OUT YOUR STILL BEATING HEART, DIP IT IN NITROGLYCERIN AND CHUCK IT AT A HOBO!" Erissare screamed, and tackled Heather, causing an immediate cloud of dust to form.

"Ooh!" The Joker exclaimed with a smirk. "Cat fight! _Spicy_.."

"Ladies! Ladies! Break it up! Ten out of ten for violence!" Chris declared as Erissare got up with a black eye and split lip, while Heather suffered messed up hair and a bloody nose.

"10!" The Joker exclaimed in agreement.

"_Yes_!" Heather shot up in victory, smirking at Erissare. "See there? I knew what I was doing.." She confidently said before walking off stage.

Erissare flipped her off. "Oh stuff it Bottom Bitch!"

"I've been called worse!" Heather shouted back, not even so much as turning around, still walking.

Erissare responded by grabbing a nearby intern and chucking him at Heather.

Jade walked onto the stage with a slight cringe as she saw the intern smack hard into Heather. She decided to ignore it and get her performance over with.

Jade started by taking a deep breath and pulling out her metal staff. She stuck it in the ground and began to pole dance on it while wearing revealing clothing. Mid dance, she took off her veil, exposing her pretty much perfectly shaped face, before eventually, she ended the dance by spinning on the pole, and laying on her side.

Everyone in the crowd hung their mouths open, especially Drew, whom Jade gave a wink to.

Chris blinked. "Wow...I have to say, Drew is a lucky guy! Ten!"

"Ten..." Chef breathed.

"It would be a _crime _to not give that performance a 10!" The Joker said. "And believe me, I _know _a thing or two about crime.."

Jade put her veil back on and gave a traditional bow, before she walked off stage, ending the Gopher girls' performances.

"Alright, now let's change gears a bit. Bass boys! You're up."

To everyone's utter surprise, Patrick, Owen, Bill and Homer walked out all at the same time in…

"Oh they're _not _serious!" Kyle breathed. All four were dressed in stripper outfits, and began doing a group striptease.

Then, Owen tripped, and his pants tore, revealing his buttcrack, and to make matters worse, he farted.

Dead. Fucking. Silence.

Chris fainted.

"HAHAHAHA!" The Joker laughed out loud. "Funny _joke_! I love it! Now then.. where's the _real _contestants?"

An intern approached Joker and whispered the news in his ear, to which Joker widened his eyes and shoved the intern away.

"_What_!?" The Joker exclaimed. "_That _was the best this team could choose!? Th- That's not funny! That's not funny at _all_! 0!"

"-10,000!" Chef yelled. "YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS JUST LOST YOUR TEAM THE CHALLENGE! THAT KIND OF THING SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!" Chef ranted.

"Bass...nothing in history can compare to this atrocity. The Gophers win the challenge." Chris said, rubbing his forehead. "I have to say, even good ratings can't make up for the disaster we just saw..."

"Now then.. excuse me while I go punch Harley in the fac- I mean.. _talk _with my beloved sweetheart, Harley.. That always makes me feel better in… _situations _such as this."

With that, The Joker immediately stood up from his chair and stormed out of the building.

*_Confession Cam_*

"Sacrifices need to be made. To see Cartman go will be so worth it." Jack said evilly.

"I added a little surprise..."

_*Confession Cam*_

"Excuse my language.." Bridgette began. "But what. The fuck. Was _that_!? Why would the Bass choose _that _as their opposition?" She then sighed. "I honestly kind of feel sorry for them.. All four of them are good guys, but.. I mean come _on_!"

_*Confession Cam*_

Onaga simply sighed and shook his head, staying silent for a good few seconds. Nothing was said at all.

*_End Confession Cam_*

An Intern handed Chris the note. "It seems that Cartman sabotaged his team...apparently to get back at Kyle for not giving him snacks. He captured Owen Grady, Johnny Cage, Thor and Loki, and replaced them with these...things to try and vote Kyle off..."

Even Zillum and Onaga seemed surprised by that last part, while Jack just crossed his arms victoriously. Zillum looked to Jack, who just gave him a thumbs up. "So that's why those four are missing..."

"YOU MEAN THE TRAITOR THREW THE CHALLENGE FOR _PETTY REVENGE_?!" Skipper yelled.

"What!?" Cartman exclaimed, still injured from his encounter with Jack earlier. "Oh come _on_, you guys! That is _total _bullshit!"

"I don't know. You _do_ hate Kyle..." Duncan said with a 'suspicious' look.

It seemed the entire Bass team was pissed at Cartman now.

Onaga decided to add to it,

"You had best _pray _that you are off this island! Whether you are still here by morning or not, you will _not _be around for the next challenge.." He threatened.

Cartman had to gulp at that. He stared at the entirety of the Bass team, who glared daggers at him. Cartman sighed, before saying,

"Aw, _fuck_.."

"Bass, for obvious reasons, I'll be seeing you at the campfire ceremony." Chris said.

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"Campers, there are thirty one campers here, and only thirty marshmallows. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and you can never come back. _Ever_." Chris explained.

Everyone was still glaring at Cartman. "Jack, Zillum, Onaga."

Jack returned to the team, sitting beside Kyle, who smiled nervously. Zillum sat beside Carandial, crossing his arms, awaiting for Chris to continue.

"Kyle, Johnny Cage, Carandial,"

"Alright! Johnny Cage for the win, baby!" Johnny Cage cockily exclaimed, looking unsurprised that he would be staying.

Kyle got his marshmallow, and sat beside Jack, leaning on his shoulder.

Finally, there were only two campers. It was down to Gwen and Cartman. Gwen narrowed her eyes at Cartman, who looked already defeated. He _knew _that he was the one going! There was _no _other logical explanation.

He instead looked at Kyle with a scowl and flipped him off prematurely, before Chris had even announced the result.

"Gwen!" Chris said. "Have to say, not surprised. That was low, bro. Both with the contestants, and by putting that picture on the web."

"Pft.." Cartman said while rolling his eyes. "Whatever, just get me the fuck outta here.. About time I got out of here so I could eat some _real _food, anyways! Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

He proceeded to flip everyone the bird, before walking the Dock of Shame and boarding the Boat of Losers, which sped away, sealing Cartman's fate on Total Drama Island for good..

"The rest of you are safe, for now." Chris said as Cartman left.

Jack, Zillum and Onaga shared a devious look, before the team returned to their cabins.


	5. 5, The Dangerous Dares

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "Players found their inner beauty in the very first Miss Wawanakwa Beauty Pageant! There was a serious catfight between Erissare and Heather, and the Bass nearly caused this show to be cancelled when they…"

Chris shuddered.

"Anyway, things are about to get even _more_ grueling, and a _very _dramatic secret is about to be revealed on this episode of Total. Drama. Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

It was early morning, and things were peaceful. Duncan was doing some push ups, while Jack and Kyle were cuddling. Zillum leapt down from his bunk, before he stopped.

"It's too quiet..." He muttered. Chris had woken them up earlier before. Something wasn't right...

"Maybe he's decided it best to get some beauty sleep.." Johnny Cage commented, a sleep mask over his eyes. He temporarily pulled it up, only to reveal his sunglasses were still on. "Us good looking actors _need _it.." He then flashed a grin, his teeth sparkling, before putting the sleep mask back on and laying back down.

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The various campers were eating in the Mess Hall. Gwen took a bite of the 'oatmeal'. "Ugh, why did I sign up for a third season…?" She asked.

"Ugh.. I _know _right.." Trent spoke, sitting down at her table. He flashed her a sheepish grin, clearly eager to pick up where things had left off.

Gwen shrugged. "You know we broke things off, right Trent? After what happened last season." She said that a bit sadly, but still…

"I- I know.." Trent sighed sadly. "But.. I've _changed_, Gwen. We had.. such a _connection _on the first season that I haven't had with any girl _since_! I know I messed up last time, but.." Trent's expression was one of pleading, and of slight fear. "I just wish you could give us one last chance, Gwen.. I miss you. I miss _us_.."

Gwen looked at him, before she sighed. "Trent, I just...would rather be on my own right now. Maybe another time-"

She couldn't speak any further when she saw the heartbreak in Trent's expression. He looked down with his eyes closed for a couple seconds, before he nodded and responded,

"I hear ya.." He then stood up and prepared to move tables to give Gwen her space. "But hey.. I guess… if it still _means _anything, I'll still always consider you a friend I would do anything for.."

Gwen _had _to smile at that. "Thanks, I really...am sorry Trent, I just..." She looked down. "Stuff is going on back at home, and...I just can't deal with a relationship right now. It's not your fault."

Trent merely nodded, looking down once again, his green eyes sparkling.

"I hope everything works out for you, Gwen.." He then forced a smile. "And… good luck in the competition.."

Gwen nodded. Zillum watched the discussion, and for...some reason, he actually felt a bit sorry for Gwen. He couldn't explain it, but he actually _cared _about the team a tiny bit. One of the reasons he had stood up to Onaga in the battle challenge was, as he figured out, he actually valued the team… Not that he'd ever say that aloud.

Drew sat at his table with his friends, Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, and Kitana. They didn't talk about much else besides when they thought Chris might arrive to ruin the day..

There was a notable person that Drew noticed wasn't present yet..

_Jade_..

Every other camper was currently present minus her and Onaga. But Onaga usually did his own thing sometimes, for whatever reason that might be..

But Drew didn't really care about that right now. He was just wondering where she was.

"Any of you seen Jade at all?" Drew questioned his friends. "Kitana?"

Kitana merely shrugged.

"I haven't seen her all day.." The Edenian princess explained. "Not since last night. She has been acting.. rather _mysterious _as of late. Not like herself.."

Drew had to smirk at that. He figured he knew why that was. Love could _really _change a person, and he would know!

Did it affect Edenians the same way? Drew was inclined to believe that it did..

Meanwhile, Bridgette was the last one to get her bowl of 'oatmeal' and she had nowhere to sit. She was a bit late today, since she overslept in the cabin after a longer night than she would have liked.

She looked around for any possible space.

Bridgette saw a total of three.

The first was a seat right in between Homer and Bill Dauterive. Bill waved at her, before she slightly cringed and looked at the second spot, Bill hanging his balding head down in sadness.

The second spot was right at the table of 'tough guys' and 'brutes'. AKA Zillum, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Duncan, etc..

'_Hard pass..' _Bridgette thought with a sigh. Finally, her gaze fell upon the third and final spot available. It was a seat _right _next to Drew, at what everyone called the 'Earthrealm' table..

Bridgette appeared hesitant about this.. Mostly because she was aware of Drew and Jade's relationship, and the fact that Jade could walk in at any moment. She didn't want to be rude and take her seat. But then again, that creepy 'Bill' guy was still staring at her..

She quickly made a wise decision.

"Um.. Hey, Drew is it?.." Bridgette softly asked, tapping on Drew's shoulder.

Drew turned around with a look of curiosity, before he gave a warm smile,

"Yeah, that's me.. You're Bridgette, right?"

Bridgette nodded, returning the smile.

"Yep.. I'm the 'surfer chick'." She chuckled, which in turn caused Drew to do the same.

"So what's up?" Drew asked. "Anything you need?"

"Well.. _yeah_," Bridgette sheepishly began. "I came in late today and I've been looking for a place to sit-"

Drew immediately motioned to the spot beside him, scooting over a bit.

"You can sit here if you want to.. I don't mind."

Bridgette seemed taken aback by how quickly he offered to help.

"Ar- Are you _sure_?" Bridgette wanted to confirm. "I mean.. I know Jade could come in at any-"

"Nah, it's fine.." Drew reassured her, waving it off. "Wherever she is, she ain't coming in the Mess Hall today.. Can't say I blame her."

Bridgette had to laugh at that.

"You got that right.." She agreed.

Then out of nowhere, Bridgette's emerald eyes came in full contact with Drew's ocean blue ones. She widened her eyes, taken a bit by surprise. The sight of them.. Something _about _him just.. _immediately _put her in a trance-like state. She was _enthralled_!

But as quickly as they had made contact, Drew looked away, and ate what he could of his oatmeal, seemingly unaffected by the experience.

Bridgette internally gasped and sunk down in her seat slightly. She had to mentally facepalm at herself.

'_Bridgette! What are you DOING? What was THAT!? You must be going completely insane! You barely know this guy.. I mean, sure he's a bit cute, but..'_

Bridgette's eyes widened once more, before she simply scooted away slightly and began to pick at her oatmeal.

'_You CANNOT be serious! I did NOT just think that… I mean, besides, even if I DID like him, which I don't.. He's with Jade, anyways! I couldn't just-' _

Bridgette sighed once again, this time Drew noticing it. He turned to face her, seeing the conflict in her eyes, as well as the confusion. It was a very strange feeling, overall.

However, before Drew could ask about it-

"Campers, meet Chef and I at the amphitheater in five minutes. Anyone who's late has to..." He began to chuckle evilly.

"That's not a good sign..." Owen Grady muttered.

"Just meet us at the amphitheater right about...now."

"What about breakfast?" Owen asked.

"You _just _ate, fatass!" Randy exclaimed while clutching his forehead, seemingly recovering from a hangover.

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The two teams gathered at the amphitheater. "You ladies will enjoy this one. We're playing a game of spin the bottle!" Chris motioned to two wheels, one with pictures of the campers and various...pictures.

"Um.. _no_! Nope! Uh uh.. No way.." Heather complained, crossing her arms and closing her eyes. "There is _no _way I'm going to take a chance kissing-" She then looked at everyone. "-well.. _anyone _here!"

"Oh, you will." Chris said. "Because anyone who refuses gets eliminated. Last one standing gets immunity for their team."

"So what you're saying is," Scorpion began. "I have to swap _saliva _with these putrid beings?.. I don't even _have _saliva to swap! Need I remind you…" Scorpion then took off his face, which was actually just a mask, revealing his true face of a flaming skull. This caused most of the campers to cringe.

"Uh, yeah.. I agree with Scorpion.." Heather decided to comment again, this time her eyes widened. "My face would burn off."

"Oh don't worry, it's not just kissing." Chris said with a sadistic grin.

Pretty much _all _the girls narrowed their eyes.

"If you're suggesting what _I _think you're suggesting.." LeShawna began. "Mm mmm, we about to have some _problems_, McLean!"

"Oh don't worry. The worst thing of that kind is a lap-dance." Chris said. "But you'll have to deal with all _kinds _of torture. Well, there _are _a few good options, but..." Chris began to laugh again.

"And hosting our little torture session, Executioner Chef!"

Chef walked out with an executioner costume.

"Pff.. Hahaha! Nice _outfit_.." Duncan commented to Chef.

"Oh, I wouldn't be so confident. Afterall, he _can _choose your torture..." Chris said. Chef just nodded, grinning slightly.

Duncan widened his eyes.

"Uh.. I mean, _nice _outfit, Chef! Man, you look _good _in leathe-"

"That's far enough.." Sub-Zero commented.

"I know.." Duncan gave up.

"First sucker up," Chef said, laughing up. He spun the bottle. "Jade, punching a Great White Shark in the nose."

Drew widened his eyes slightly at that. He looked over, and sure enough, there Jade was!

'_What on Earth..' _Drew thought in confusion. Where had she _been _all this time!? It was as if she had just appeared out of nowhere! Even _Kitana _seemed to look a little confused..

But that strangeness aside, he now thought of the _challenge _itself! Punching a great white _shark_!? It slightly spooked him to think that there was likely _far _worse ones available..

Jade looked back at Drew, giving him a wink. This caused Drew to smile, and look on intently as she immediately, and quite _literally _dove straight into the dare!

She dove into the water not far from their location, off the dock. Everyone stared intently and in silence for a good several seconds, before finally, the water began to bubble.

Everyone's expressions changed from intent observing, to nervous concern now. They had no _idea _if she was still okay or not, or what was even going _on_!

That was, until something shot up to the surface.

It was Jade, _on _a shark's back! She had what appeared to be a _bodylock _on it as well, so that she could stay attached to it!

Jade waited until she knew everyone was watching, before she threw a killer right hand into the shark's snout, actually knocking it _unconscious_.. It floated on its back, Jade seeming satisfied and swimming back to shore.

As she stepped onto the dock, completely wet, all of the guys had their mouths hang open, simply staring. Not only at her appearance, but _also _at what she had just done!

"That was _too _easy.." Jade spoke with a chuckle, rubbing her hands confidently.

She finally stood beside Drew, his expression holding that of all the rest of the guys. He could hardly speak for awhile, as could anyone.

Well.. anyone except for _Chris_, apparently..

"And Jade sets the bar _way _high! Point for the Gophers!" Chris declared.

With that, all of the Gophers cheered, some congratulating Jade. The Bass didn't really say anything. They had to give her props for that one.

Well, _almost _all of the Bass.. Zillum narrowed his eyes. Something wasn't right…

"Up next, we have the Bass! Tony, you have to give Onaga a purple-nurple!" Chris said.

Iron-Man's eyes widened, and he looked at Onaga.

"Think _very _carefully about your decision.." Onaga warned, his eyes narrowing.

Tony looked to his team, before he leapt at Onaga, twisted his nipple and _flew _in the other direction.

_ROAR!_

Onaga roared in pain, immediately followed by anger. His roar was enough to shake the entire dock and almost break it completely. The sound also traveled across the whole island.

Or in other words, it was pretty fucking loud.

"Now, the Gophers, Scorpion, call Patrick Rick or the Krusty Krab."

Scorpion appeared more confused than anything.

"What? This is _ridiculous_! What is even the context?"

"You _can _back out…" Chef chuckled.

Scorpion's eyes narrowed. He never backed out of _anything_!

He walked straight up to Patrick and spoke simply,

"You're a Krusty Krab.."

"No, I'm Patrick." Patrick replied.

"We're done here.." Scorpion said now, already appearing annoyed.

"No! This is _Patrick_!" Patrick yelled suddenly, and grabbed a squirrel, before chucking it at Scorpion.

Scorpion's lifeless white eyes widened briefly, before they once again narrowed. He shot his spear out, impaling the squirrel, before finally spinning his spear harpoon around like a lasso, finally tossing the squirrel _back _full force at Patrick.

Patrick got knocked to the ground suddenly. "Finland!" He whimpered.

"And up next, the Bass. Homer?"

Homer paled. "Yes…?" He asked. "Tell Hank Hill that Charcoal is better than Propane."

Homer chuckled, before walking up to Hank. "Charcoal is a _bazillion _times better than Propane!"

"BWAHHHH!" Hank Hill screamed at the top of his lungs, startling everyone present, even Onaga.

Hank then appeared to go into what looked like a Super Saiyan form, propane emitting from his very being. Hank grabbed Homer by the shirt, before in one effortless throw, he sent Homer flying deep into Lake Wawanakwa.

"Propane.." Hank breathed deeply, appearing to return to normal. "is a _gift _from the barbecue gods! With propane you taste the _meat_, _not _the heat!"

"And...Homer wins the Bass their second point...and a wheelchair..." Chris said, thunderstruck.

"Harold, tell Kyle he has sand in his vagina." Chris said.

Kyle narrowed his eyes at Chris. "There's no sand in my vagina!" He yelled shrilly.

Everyone looked at him after that. "Goddammit!" He muttered.

Harold cleared his throat.

"Kyle?.." He began to ask.

Kyle narrowed his eyes. "Yes...Harold?" He asked angrily.

Harold gulped, now hiding behind LeShawna, who rolled her eyes.

"You like… h- have sand.. in your vaginal region.."

"THERE'S NO SAND IN MY VAGINA!" Kyle yelled, lunging at Harold, though Jack held him back.

There was a loud buzz. "And Harold failed to complete his challenge. Take one point for the Bass."

"What? No _way_!" Harold exclaimed.

"He _did _say it.." LeShawna pointed out.

"You had to tell him, "you have sand in your _vagina_, not 'in your vaginal region.' Yay technicalities!"

Chris chuckled.

"Nice job, losa'.." King Julien scoffed. "You just cost us a point with your 'being technically'.."

"Up next..." Chris chuckled sadistically. "Patrick, singing your very own love song to...Zillum."

Zillum's eyes widened, and he narrowed at Chris.

"I love _you_!" Patrick exclaimed, immediately busting out into tone deaf singing, staring intently at Zillum. "Uh.. _you _love me! I could really go for some cheese! And I'll even bet you taste like candy-"

Patrick was immediately cut off by a punch to the face. Zillum rolled his eyes. "There, he did it, can we have our point now?"

"Yup. Gophers, now to mix things up, Chef gets to choose the next contestant and challenge."

"We sure need it.." Drew commented. "We're behind by two points."

Chef chuckled. "For _three _extra points...you get to punch Chris in the face."

Chris' eyes widened in shock, while Chef just smirked, before grabbing Chris, restraining him. "This is so not cool, dude!"

"You put me in charge of this part!" Chef chuckled.

"Aw! No _way_!" Duncan exclaimed, then saying to Drew. "You get to do what _all _of us have been wanting to do for two whole _seasons_!"

"CHEF! DON'T YOU DARE!"

Chris gasped slightly when he saw Drew cock back his right fist, winding it up with a smirk.

"Look at it this way, Chris.." Drew began. "You could've got Onaga. Oh, and by the way, I have a killer right hook."

Before Chris could even respond to that-

_BAM!_

Drew landed said right hook right into the Canadian reality show host's face.

Everyone cheered at that, while Chris rubbed his now bloody nose. "What did I do to deserve this…?" He asked.

"Besides everything?" Duncan sarcastically remarked with a shrug. "I dunno.."

"Up next, Bass, " Chef said as Chris ran off.

"Zillum, save Gwen from being buried alive."

Gwen's eyes widened. "What?! No! You can't be serious!"

She was knocked out by a dart, and an intern dragged her off.

"Okay, that is just sadistic..." Blue muttered to Trent.

"Yeah.." Trent muttered, looking down in thought and guilt. "Sadistic.." He was currently reminiscing about the time he left her buried in the sand for way longer than he promised. That was probably the time you could _say _that he and Gwen's relationship started to deteriorate..

Trent had _never _forgotten that, either..

While Zillum headed off to find Gwen, Chris returned. "Now that the _proper _host has returned." He said with a glare.

"Bridgette?" He asked.

Bridgette was taken aback when her name was called, but looked on at Chris, wondering what her dare would be..

"Your dare is...show your boobs."

Virtually everyone's eyes widened at that. Even Zillum was taken aback. That was just abject humiliation!

Heather couldn't help but laugh at the top of her lungs at that. She just couldn't _help _herself.

"Oh _shut _the fuck up, Heather!" Bridgette uncharacteristically cursed. "It's not like this is an unfamiliar concept to you.."

Everyone now started laughing at and turned the tide on Heather, whose eyes widened, reminded of the time she had accidentally flashed Harold.

Blue looked at Heather. "Who was it?" She asked with a grin. "Which lucky guy saw those fake ass tits?"

"_This _lucky guy, right here.." Harold said, beginning to daydream. That is, until he got slapped hard by LeShawna.

Bridgette and the girls finally now really realized the reality of the situation, and they narrowed their eyes at Chris, their expressions turning to boiling rage.

They looked so mad, pretty much _all _of the male contestants had to step back.

"Sorry, it's in the contract ladies." He said nervously.

"Ohhh!" LeShawna exclaimed, trembling in rage, beginning to stomp towards Chris. "I'll show _you _'contract'! I'll take it and shove it up your-"

She was cut off when she heard everyone gasp. Upon turning around, LeShawna saw Bridgette.. _Completely _topless!

Harold looked on with a frozen face of wonder, as did most of the other guys.

However, Harold was punched in the face by an angry looking Owen Grady. "Stop it you little pervert!"

Blue shook her head. "Hey, she did it! Just give us the point already!"

Bridgette couldn't help but shiver with a disgusted look on her face, immediately slipping her top back on. She couldn't believe she had just _done _that.

She looked at her fellow contestants, a lot of whom were still staring near her chest area. That was, until her gaze fell upon them, to which they immediately turned away.

One person's expression stuck out the _most _to her, though, for some reason. It was _Drew_!

He stood there, his face _frozen _in shock, with his eyes widened and his mouth agape. It seemed he wasn't disappointed in what he saw, either.

Jade's eyes widened, before they narrowed. She did nothing, but her expression was now nothing but pure anger. Even under the veil, it was clear that she was pissed.

Bridgette had to look away, her cheeks flushing red, and her fear beginning to grow within her.

"Hey, you okay?" Blue asked Bridgette after a bit.

Bridgette was taken aback, but looked over at Blue. She forced her best grin and responded,

"Oh, y- yeah.. I'm fine. Thanks.."

Blue nodded. "No problem."

"Up next, Kyle, strip down to your undergarments for the rest of the day."

"WHAT IS WITH YOU?!" Rexy yelled. "What is the meaning of these perverted dares?!"

"Uhmmm.." Chris began to 'think'. "Maybe because it's Spin the Bottle? What do you expect?" He ended with a devious chuckle.

"Dude..." Jack narrowed his eyes, starting to get pissed as well, before Kyle put his hand on Jack's shoulder, before taking a deep breath, and doing what Chris said. Just like Bridgette, he blushed heavily, not liking this whatsoever.

"Ah.. It's just your _underwear_, bro. It'll be _fine_.." Duncan told Kyle.

"Gophers, Squidward? Stay locked in a room for ten minutes."

"That's it?" Squidward asked, his eyes _actually _widening perhaps the first time this season. "Pfft.. This will be _way _too easy.."

As he walked into the nearby shed, a loud, obnoxious laughing sound began to loop.

"AGHHHH!" Squidward screamed from the inside, banging on the door. It seemed he was already done.

"And the Gophers lose a point for failing the test." Chris chuckled.

"Bass, Duncan..."

"What you got?" Duncan questioned, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, appearing ready.

"Read this story sent to us by a fan by the name of Umberto...It's called...the Replicator."

"Read a story?" Duncan began to laugh. "That's it? This is gonna be _way _too easy.." He said, reminiscent of what Squidward had said.

A mere _five _minutes later, Duncan was on the ground, throwing up, having a seizure, as well as suffering endless nightmares and hallucinations, even though he was wide awake.

Chef was forced to perform 'CPR', just as he had on Trent after he ate the poisonous blowfish that Lindsay had made him on the first season.

"And, for all the marbles..." Chris said. "Jade, reveal your biggest secret..."

Jade's eyes widened a bit, before she merely chuckled.

"Oh.. That's it? Easy.." Jade confidently spoke.

Chris chuckled. "The one you're keeping from Drew..."

Drew's expression immediately changed. What was Chris _talking _about? Jade nervously chuckled, before she looked down.

"And if I don't?" Jade challenged.

"_Instant _elimination. And the dock of shame...no bonfire, no marshmallows."

That seemed to convince Jade. She turned to everyone, looking at Drew, took off her veil, before she spoke,

"You have served me _well_, Drew.. Whether you were _aware _you were doing so.. or _not_.."

Everyone gasped. Not just because of what she said, but because her voice was now.. _masculine_!

Drew's skin immediately paled, as he stepped backwards. Jade immediately morphed from her stunning self, into an old man in an ancient oriental robe. The man had a small white beard that you might find on an oriental man, as well as long, white hair. He had pure white pupils, and stood at around 6 feet tall.

"Shang _Tsung_!" Liu Kang growled, his eyes narrowing. It was his mortal foe and arch nemesis! He was _here _in the competition!

"We were _tricked_!" Kitana added, her expression just as unpleased.

"You mean.. you were posing as Jade this _entire _time!?" Drew exclaimed, his voice cracking.

Shang Tsung evilly laughed.

"Guilty as charged.." Shang replied. "My intention was to lure in someone desperate and _vulnerable _enough to do my bidding to further my advancement in this game. So that in the end, _I _may claim the prize! And I _would _have succeeded! If not for this.." He paused slightly. "_unexpected _occurrence.."

Duncan couldn't help but burst out into laughter, blurting out,

"You kissed a _dude_! An _old _dude! That's _hilarious_!"

Drew's eyes were still widened. His senses were all but gone now, as he slowly continued backing up. Time was almost at a standstill..

That was, until a lone tear fell from his cheek, and hit the ground below.

Without another _word_, Drew stormed off, _away _from the challenge, and away from everyone..

"Gophers, you're safe. Bass, pick your favorite loser."

"Wow.. Just… _wow_.." DJ spoke aloud, looking down. He felt really bad for what had just happened to Drew, and he was on the other team! "That's messed up, bro."

Shang Tsung merely chuckled wickedly once again.

"Whatever.. '_bro_..'" Shang Tsung retorted, before walking away towards the Gopher Cabins, this time on the guys' side.

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"Campers, there is only one marshmallow left." Chris declared.

Apollo and Johnny Cage were the last ones standing. Apollo had a look of nervousness on his face. Johnny Cage was simply smirking, laid back on his stump. He was _that _overly confident in himself that they were just playing up this drama for the cameras.

And in this particular case, he was right.

"Johnny Cage." Chris finally said.

Apollo sighed. "Very well."

He got up, before looking at the others. "Nothing personal," Zillum spoke. "You're just the bigger threat, Libertus."

Carandial was surprised by Zillum's comment. He knew Zillum _hated _Apollo, and yet he wasn't dancing in victory.

Apollo walked down the Dock of Shame, and boarded the Boat of Losers. "The rest of you are safe, for now..." Chris commented.

Johnny Cage then remembered Zillum's comment about Apollo being a bigger threat.

"Y'know," Johnny Cage began to genuinely chuckle. "you could really be a comedian, my friend! 'The bigger threat'. Hahaha! That _kills _me!"

Zillum looked him in the eyes. "You're next, Glasses."

Johnny Cage smirked,

"Bring it next challenge, Onaga Junior.."

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_Drip.. Drip.._

Tears began to consistently fall from Drew's face, and into Lake Wawanakwa. He was sitting on the edge of another nearby dock. The same one where he and 'Jade' confessed their love for each other, as a matter a fact.

That only seemed to make matters _worse _for Drew! It only brought back those memories, and made the reality _that _much harder to swallow!

He just felt so _stupid_, so _betrayed_, and so _alone_..

"Drew.." He heard a soft voice speak from behind him.

Oh how familiar this seemed..

Drew turned around, and instead of seeing a mirage of Jade or something, he saw..

"B- Bridgette?.." Drew softly said in return.

Bridgette nodded her head, sending Drew a warm smile and sat down beside him. Drew looked at Bridgette for a couple seconds, before the feeling of a warm hand touching his startled him slightly.

"Oh.. I- I'm sorry.." Bridgette blushed. "I didn't mean to-" She nervously began to chuckle, before Drew waved it off.

"It's.. okay, Bridgette.." Drew reassured, letting Bridgette touch his hand with her own.

"You alright?.." She softly asked him, referring to earlier.

Drew exhaled sharply, closing his eyes and looked down.

"I just.. I feel so _stupid_!"

"You are _not _stupid.." Bridgette tried to reassure him.

"Oh yeah?" Drew began to challenge. "And how would you know that? You barely even _know _me.."

"That's true.." Bridgette confirmed while looking down a bit sadly. Drew's expression and demeanor changed when he saw that, but before he could apologize for how he might have sounded, Bridgette added,

"But I _see _something in you.. Something I've seen in these past few challenges, ever since you _arrived _here. I see someone who _doesn't _give up, and I see someone with a _genuine _heart!" She smiled. "Unlike a _lot _of these people around here, it's safe to say you're one of the only _sane _ones here.."

Drew stayed silent, but gave Bridgette a warm smile.

"You weren't _stupid_, Drew.." Bridgette restated. "You truly thought you had a connection, and you were tricked.. That's _all _it was. It could have happened to anyone, so don't feel down.."

Drew took another deep breath. He knew that Bridgette was right.. Jade, as far as he was concerned, was _not _on this island, so he shouldn't _dwell _on the past! It was only a few days they spent romantically, anyways..

Thinking about it now made Drew wanna hurl. It was a _man_! An _old _man at that!

"I.. will remember that." Drew said while looking out in the distance, before he looked at Bridgette once more with a smile. "Thanks.."

Bridgette returned the smile.

"You're welcome.."

The two's eyes met once again, just as they had that morning. However, unlike solely Bridgette feeling something out of it, this time _Drew _began to feel something as well. No, this was _different _than it was with Jade! This one felt more.. _real_.

As they continued to stare into the orbs of each other's eyes, they slowly began to close shut, as their heads came closer together, their lips puckered.

And finally, their lips met.

It was a kiss of passion. _Pure _passion, and one that felt like a genuine, meaningful experience! Sparks were flying in both Bridgette and Drew's hearts.. It was a state of pure _bliss _and ecstasy for them, right now!

Finally, they pulled apart, taking deep breaths to recover from what had just happened.

"So.. D- Does this mean we-" Drew began to ask with a grin, before Bridgette cut him off with yet _another _quick kiss to the lips.

"Yes.." She immediately answered in a loving, almost seductive way.

Drew's heart was beating _completely _out of his chest. He could not _believe _this!

It was just like his experience with Jade, only done _right_.. It was with someone much more real, and with someone who inexplicably gave him _butterflies _now!

Drew and Bridgette wrapped an arm around the other, Bridgette leaning her head on Drew's shoulder. The newfound couple simply sat there, admiring the night sky with the crashing of Lake Wawanakwa and the islands' wildlife making up its background sounds.

It was going to be an interesting season for these two for sure..

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_Gwen was _not _doing so well. She had been buried in the glass capsule for a good twenty minutes now, and she had _no _idea that anyone was coming to her rescue. She doubted Zillum would, considering the hardass he seemed to be…_

_Her claustrophobia continued to creep in. It was bad enough that she had already done this before, but now.._

_Minutes seemed to zip by, and her fear grew, until finally-_

_The dust suddenly began to lift, and soon after, she saw sunlight again. Zillum had finally found her…_

"_You alright?" He asked as he helped her from the glass capsule._

"_Uh...yeah." She said. "Thanks."_

_He nodded. "Don't mention it..." He said, before he began to walk off._

_Gwen cocked a brow, before following. He was strangely silent. "Um...I thought you would probably say something sarcastic like you usually do..."_

"_What makes you think I wouldn't?" Zillum asked. _

"_Well, we've all noticed you change a bit. I mean, you're still kind of a dick at times, but it looks like you seem to have a softer side." She said with a chuckle._

_Zillum stopped. "What gave you that idea, sweetheart?" He asked her, narrowing his eyes._

__"_Don't call me that." Gwen said curtly, narrowing her eyes, and matching his stare._

_For a few tense seconds, they stared at each other, before Zillum smirked. "You're braver than most..." He chuckled. _

"_I've dealt with Chef for two seasons. You don't scare me." Gwen responded with a grin._

_Zillum chuckled a bit. "I will admit, he is a bit of a brute..."_

"_And you're not?" Gwen asked. She regretted her words, before Zillum began to laugh. _

"_Brave, a bit too much..." Zillum replied. "Your recklessness is adorable, I must say..."_

"_Did you just call me adorable, lizard?"_

"_You don't scare me, human." Zillum shot back._

_They kept walking for a bit. "I have to ask..." Gwen said seriously. _

"_Yes?" Zillum asked._

"_What was with that look earlier?" Gwen asked. Zillum stopped._

"_What are you talking about?"_

"_I saw how you looked at me after my conversation with Trent..."_

_Zillum stopped. "I..."_

_He hesitated. "After what Onaga put us through on the battlefield last challenge, I have to say, you lot deserved better."_

_Gwen frowned. "You...cared about us?"_

"_I know good soldiers when I see them..." Zillum replied._

"_You went after Cartman when he did that shit to Kyle, and you and Jack led the team to victory. If I didn't know any better, it would seem like you...care about us."_

_Zillum stopped. He was silent. "And if I do?" He asked her lowly._

"_That's...good. I mean, we all kind of need a leader we can trust. And Onaga..." Gwen said. "Yeah, you're the one we can trust..."_

_Zillum looked at her._

"_This is a good team, and I won't let Onaga sabotage us again..."_

_He looked at her. "Why did you sign up for this again?" He asked her softly._

_She looked at him. "What...do you mean?" She asked._

"_I heard what you said to Trent, Gwen..."_

_She bit her lip, before sighing. "My parents are getting a divorce. Things have been so stressful, and Trent keeps texting me. I just...ugh..." She groaned. "I like Trent and all, but..."_

_She looked at him. "Thank you for asking..." She finally said._

_Zillum nodded. "Anytime..."_

_Gwen smiled a bit. For the first time, Zillum smiled. A genuine smile._

That had happened during the challenge. Zillum was pacing around the floor of the Bass cabin, wondering just what was going on inside his head. Things felt different now. He cared about the team, yes, but…

Why did he think about Gwen more…

It...was strange. He didn't understand why he felt this way…

"Dude, you good?" Duncan asked.

"Yes..." Zillum replied, stopping. "Something's different however...I don't know why, but something's off..."

"I'll say.." Duncan chuckled. "You're acting weird.. What's up?"

"Gwen and I had an interesting conversation earlier..." Zillum said simply. He proceeded to explain what had happened. At the end of it, Duncan's face and demeanor _completely _changed. It was as if he was feeling something on a.. _personal _level.

"Woah.. That is uh.. That's crazy." Duncan spoke, trying to hold his emotions back.

"What is?" Zillum asked. "What am I missing here?"

Duncan decided enough was enough with the way he was currently acting. He had those feelings he had towards Gwen, they shared a couple of kisses even.. But that was over now.. What's done is done!

He just had to _forget _about it..

Duncan took a deep breath and answered Zillum's question in his more 'normal' demeanor,

"Dude.. You like her, don't you?"

Zillum froze. "Well, as a friend I guess, but..."

He looked at Duncan. "You're serious..." He muttered.

"Bahahaha!" Duncan began to laugh out loud, falling onto one of the bottom bunks. "Oh.. Oh man, this is classic! Zillum, man.. You got the hots for her, _big _time!"

"Oh shut up..." Zillum growled. "You're lucky that you're part of the alliance!"

"And so are you." Duncan winked slyly.

Zillum growled, and said to Duncan. "Any advice you have, criminal?"

"'Criminal'.." Duncan repeated aloud. "I like it! Really suits me.."

He then answered Zillum's question, getting more serious,

"My advice to you? Gwen is _really _into slasher films and alien movies.. Oh! And the 'mysterious' bad boy personality.. Works every time.." Duncan smirked slightly at the end.

Zillum cocked a brow. "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind..."


	6. 6, Battleship

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "A game of Spin the Bottle revealed some _shocking _twists! Bridgette had to reveal herself to the team, and Drew found out he was dating a crusty old man! But fortunately for the two of them, their luck quickly changed.. Even still, the Gophers triumphed, and the Bass sent Apollo home. We even discovered old Zillum has the hots for Gwen."

Chris grinned. "Today's challenge is sure to rock the waves! Who will sink and who will float? Find out tonight on Total. Drama. Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

"You...seen Zillum at all?" Carandial asked Duncan. Both Owens, Skipper, Jack, Kyle, Drew, Bridgette, the Earthrealmers, and a few others were hanging out by the docks.

"I thought I saw General Finhead talking to Gwen earlier." Skipper shrugged.

Duncan had to smirk at that, saying in response,

"So he actually went through with it after all."

"What do you mean?" Owen Grady asked, though he had a hunch what Duncan was talking about.

"I _mean _by this point," Duncan began. "Zillum and Gwen are probably too busy sucking face.."

Jack had to chuckle at that. "I never would have thought he would be the one to develop a crush on someone here...Then again..." He stopped.

"It does seem like the love bug is going around..." Kyle chuckled.

Drew and Bridgette had to stare at each other lovingly. Bridgette leaned on Drew's shoulder, as the two continued to sit on the docks and stare out at Lake Wawanakwa.

It was times like _this _that they _actually _enjoyed.. Spending time with their newfound friends and even those they grew to _crush _on.. And even by the time this insane show was over and done with, they all mentally hoped that their relationships would all evolve into something _so _much more..

Jack was about to say something, before there was the sound of something metal rolling on the ground. He turned, and saw-

A gas grenade.

Everything went black.

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Drew awoke feeling...different. He could see everything, but…

It looked like some kind of video game screen! All he could see was ocean, and what looked like the bow of a ship extending out in front of him, complete with two gun turrets. To his sides, he saw other ships of varying sizes. Strangest of all, every ship had a name tag over it. The names of his team.

Drew had to pinch the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

"I hope to _Christ _that we were kidnapped by pirates.." Drew muttered to himself, already knowing full well that wasn't the case.

"Argh! Ahoy mateys!" The voice of Chris greeted in a bad pirate's accent, sounding like it was coming from a radio to his side.

"Welcome to this week's challenge, a good old fashion game of Battleship!"

"Are you saying that we're...supposed to fight each other on these rustbuckets?" Blue asked.

"Indeed I am!" Chris replied.

"You and the other team are to fight until one team is destroyed. Be prepared to bring it. The winner gets a five star seafood dinner, and the loser gets sunk!"

"So.." Bridgette began. "It's basically the war challenge, but instead of an Army, we're now playing Navy?.."

"Yes Bridgette, yes you are. Each team is divided into four categories. When I say you're category, you and your teammates of the same class' names will be lit up momentarily. The types are: Battleships, the strongest and largest, Battlecruisers, which are similarly strong, but fast, without much armor, Cruisers, which are smaller ships that are good scouts and escorts for Battlecruisers, and Destroyers, which are the smallest, but can fire torpedoes at close range."

"Oh, and the team which loses all their battleships first loses the challenge." Chris added.

"Got that?" He then asked.

On the other side of the map, with the Bass fleet, everyone confirmed the question.

"As long as you don't make us play Air Force after this one," Duncan began. "Then sure.."

"Alright, teams, set sail!"

There was a bit of silence as both teams realized they could now move their ships. Strangely, it seemed like they could move them with their mind. Rexy was the first to move forward a bit. Her battleship sailed forward a bit, before she finally asked,

"Alright, what's our plan? How we sinking these bastards?"

"We shoot 'em!" Randy Marsh blurted out, seemingly out for blood.

"Shall we move then?" Caesarius asked everyone.

"Let's bring some fish home!" Luke declared.

"Agreed. Liu Kang?" Caesarius asked.

Liu Kang stood up straight and at attention as he always did, ready for action if necessary.

"What is it you require of me?" Liu Kang responded.

"Can you take Harold, Luke, Lee, and Bridgette ahead of the main fleet, and try to locate their battleships? We'll follow close behind, but I have a plan in mind."

Liu Kang eyed his fellow teammates that Caesarius had just named. They had already got into a group and stood at attention, Harold getting into a Crane stance and throwing a few unnecessary jabs into the air.

Liu Kang took a deep breath and gave Caesarius a nod,

"Very well.."

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"Alright, I have a plan." Zillum said.

"Jack, Duncan, and Carandial will lead the first group of ships forward, with the rest of us moving close behind. Keep on guard. We need to keep together. This is not going to be an easy victory."

Onaga couldn't help but give a chuckle.

"Hmph.. Who's surprised he already has a plan? However, I would suggest perhaps something _better_.."

Zillum hesitated, before replying. "What are you proposing?"

"I am _proposing _questioning your men.. Perhaps those even as hollow skulled as Owen may be of some use at times.." He then shrugged. "After all.. He _did _set in motion the events that won us the second challenge.. And that goes for you _all_!" Onaga exclaimed to everyone.

Not that he needed it, but he was already trying to 'make amends' with his teammates for that Battle Challenge fiasco. He wouldn't be eliminated, but it would make his path to victory even _greater _if he went this route..

Besides, who knew? Maybe someone else _did _have a wise plan..

Zillum thought for a moment.

"Everyone? What should our strategy be for this battle? We need to work together if we are to triumph."

Jack thought for a moment.

"Perhaps we could send the battlecruisers, Carandial, Kung Lao, and Johnny Cage out first, while hiding our battleships behind that island. The battlecruisers could lure in the Gophers, and use their speed to escape, and our ships could move around the island to attack them from behind?"

"Might I add onto this suggestion?" Bill Dauterive requested. "I'm not too familiar with the Navy, but I _did _used to serve in the United States Army for nearly 15 years.."

"Go ahead." Zillum responded.

"Well, what if as we send the battlecruisers out, we spare some ships to move _around _the enemy to the other side? It would take longer, and may require a lengthy distraction, but that way we could attack them from two sides.." Bill explained.

"Bill!" Dale exclaimed with a grin, patting Bill on the shoulder. "You just got 10% _less _ugly! Congratulations!"

Bill then genuinely smiled.

"Oh, why thank you, Dale! How nice of you to sa-"

"Don't push it, Bill.." Dale cut him off, inhaling his cigarette.

"Perhaps our Destroyers? Granted, they're the smallest here, but they have their torpedoes? While the battlecruisers lure them down the center and their attention is focused on the Battleships on the right, the Destroyers could bum rush them and torpedo them from the left?" Skipper suggested.

"I agree. Everyone know the plan?" Zillum asked the rest of the team.

"Copy!" Kyle exclaimed.

"Let's do this." Gwen said.

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Liu Kang's battlecruiser, as well as Harold, Luke, Lee, and Bridgette's Cruisers steamed down the ocean. The waves rocked gently against their ships, and it seemed kinda peaceful to be honest. Bridgette's ship was in the lead, with Liu Kang behind her, Harold behind Liu Kang, and Lee bringing up the rear.

"See anything?" Luke asked Bridgette from his Cruiser.

Bridgette looked out in the distance, but all she could spot was open water.

"Nothing yet.." Bridgette confirmed.

They continued to sail, until Lee suddenly saw something nearby. It looked like three enemy Battleships or Battlecruisers! From this distance he couldn't tell.

"Liu Kang? Reporting three enemy battleships or battlecruisers to the northwest!"

"Understood." Liu Kang responded. "Have they spotted you?"

Lee looked through the binoculars again. They were moving at max speed, and would be within firing range shortly.

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"Kung Lao, Johnny Cage?" Carandial asked.

"Enemy Battlecruiser with four cruisers spotted! We need to lure them in!"

"Alright!" Johnny Cage exclaimed, putting on his $500 sunglasses. "It's _showtime_.."

Carandial turned his ship hard to the right, and brought up his guns. After a short while, his ship opened fire, causing a thunderous boom that could be heard all the way to Liu Kang's ships!

_BOOM!_

It was a direct hit!

Liu Kang's Battlecruiser buckled under the pressure, and part of it was already on fire from the devastating hit! It's weak armor offered little protection from the initial impact.

Liu Kang's eyes closed as he looked down with a sigh.

"Well that isn't the favorable outcome, is it?.." His head then shot up, his expression now filled with intensity. If he was gonna go down this early, he was gonna take at _least _one other with him!

_BOOM!_

Liu Kang fired a desperation shot; one that was well aimed and well placed, however.

The shells arced over Carandial's ship, and struck _directly _into Johnny Cage's ship!

"Aw come _on_, man!" Johnny Cage exclaimed. "You shot it right into my _rear_! You could have at least taken me out to dinner first, Nagasaki!"

"Woah.." Harold's eyes widened, seemingly freezing up temporarily. "Stuff is really getting real-"

_BOOM!_

Bridgette fired a shot from her ship now, her eyes narrowed, seemingly not caring about anything but winning this challenge. Her mind was _set_..

"Well.. Here we go." Harold talked to himself once again, before deciding to go on the offense as well.

"Liu Kang?" Caesarius asked on the radio.

"We're moving to reinforce now. What is your status?"

"Ship is badly damaged.." Liu Kang informed rather calmly. "I imagine I'll be underwater within minutes."

"We'll pick you up momentarily. What are we facing? Are these their battleships?" Caesarius responded.

"No.." Liu Kang answered. "Only Battlecruisers."

"Very well, we will join you, and we'll find the enemy ships."

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Carandial grinned.

"Looks like we got their entire fleet out there. Let's turn and lure them in, so our battleships and destroyers can ambush them."

"Uh, a little help, chief?" Johnny Cage said aloud, reminding Carandial of his damaged ship.

"You lead the way back from the front. Kung Lao and I will cover your retreat. You should be able to make it back so long as you don't suffer more damage." Carandial responded.

"Maybe leave it to the professionals?" Kung Lao decided to tease Johnny Cage, sticking it to him for his previous cocky attitude.

"Hmph.." Johnny Cage crossed his arms. "Yeah, whatever.. I _wanted _to be hit. Couldn't make things _too _easy, could we?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night..." Carandial shrugged as the battlecruisers withdrew south, the rest of the enemy fleet following close behind.

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"Drew?" Caesarius asked on the radio.

"Yo.." Drew replied.

"I want you, Randy, and Trent to move ahead, and torpedo those ships. Think you can handle that?"

"Yeah, I got you covered.. I imagine so will Trent, and Randy is crazy enough to where he'll at least take _some _of them down.. So yeah, we're on our way."

The three destroyers led the charge towards the battlecruisers, and ran them down rapidly.

Carandial crossed his arms. "Let's swat those gnats and move on." He said to Kung Lao.

The three destroyers closed in, with Randy just avoiding a shell from Carandial's battlecruiser.

"You wanna throw down, bitch!?" Randy yelled. "Cause I'll _throw down_!"

_BOOM! BOOM!_

It was rapid fire from Randy's ship. He was going full _psychopath _on them! Then, a torpedo from Randy's ship raced through the water. While the shells did little damage to the battlecruisers, the torpedo broke Carandial's battlecruiser in _half_!

"_Woo_! Yeah!" Randy exclaimed, holding up both middle fingers. "_Fuck _you!"

Kung Lao simply rolled his eyes, sending one singular shot at Randy's ship, directly hitting it.

Randy's confidence immediately faded, and he looked down, knowing his ship was done.

"Fucking Asians.." Randy muttered, defeated.

The rest of their fleet was closing in on Johnny Cage and Kung Lao, however, and Caesarius had to grin.

"All ships, let's finish this!"

"YEAH!" Blue yelled.

Drew, Bridgette, and Hank Hill each fired a shot, plus a couple others from different angles, _directly _at Kung Lao and Johnny Cage's ships..

They didn't stand a chance.

_BOOM!_

They were done. It was a direct hit on both, and they would sink soon.

Caesarius grinned, before he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. Coming at them from the east was the rest of the Bass fleet, led by six battleships.

The real fight was about to begin.

"All ships, turn to engage those battleships! Fire at will!" He ordered.

"Prepare to be destroyed!.." Harold 'warned' the enemy battleships. "For I will unleash the might of a thousand-"

His ship was hit by a shell from Onaga's ship, which was leading the charge, causing a huge explosion.

"HAHAHA!" Onaga wickedly laughed. "Foolish mortal! You almost had me at least _one percent _terrified.."

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The battle was a confused melee. The various ships were engaged in close range duels. Drew and Bridgette were fighting side by side, destroying Homer's ship with relative ease.

"Not a bad shot for a surfer girl!" Drew teased.

Bridgette chuckled in response and responded,

"I'll take that as a compliment.. You're not a bad shot yourself."

"We can take these guys!" Drew exclaimed confidently to boost her morale more than it already was. "I _know _we can!"

"YEAH! THE COMMONER'S RIGHT!" Julien yelled, sailing his cruiser in front of them, before a massive explosion cut his ship in half.

Drew facepalmed at that, sighing,

"Or.. maybe not. If we do what he just did.."

As Julien's cruiser sank below the waves, Drew witnessed a battleship bearing down on them. Heather's battleship attempted to engage it, but with a well placed salvo, the battleship sent HER ship beneath the waves as well.

"Well, if it had to be one of us," Bridgette began. "at least it was _Heather_.."

The ship closed in on them, before it turned sharply to the side, it's heavy cannons aiming at both of their ships simultaneously.

"Sorry guys," Jack said to them from the battleship. "But you gotta go down."

Drew and Bridgette's eyes both widened, their skin paling at that statement, before Jack's cannons fired. Bridgette's ship was hit first, and began to sink.

"NO!" Drew screamed at the sight of his girlfriend's ship being destroyed. Just like that, her involvement in the challenge was taken away..

A new fire was lit in Drew's eyes, as he stared daggers at Jack's battleship.

The giant battleship closed in on Drew's destroyer, dwarfing it. "Nothin' personal. You understand." Jack shrugged.

"Oh shove it!" Drew exclaimed, preparing to fire. He then smirked wickedly. "Smile you son of a-"

_BOOM! BOOM!_

Several well placed torpedoes were fired at Jack's Battleship, all while Drew had to be on the move to avoid Jack's offense as well.

The torpedoes closed in on Jack's ship, which swerved to avoid them. Two missed, but the last two carved into his ship's side, and his ship immediately began to slowly, but surely sink.

Drew smiled at the sight of that. He had actually taken out a _Battleship_!

"Nothin' personal!" Drew yelled back at Jack.

"Well played..." Jack said with a slight chuckle as Drew's destroyer picked him up.

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The two fleets continued to brawl for at least an hour more, and by the end of it, only Zillum and Onaga's ships remained on the Bass Team, with Hank Hill and Darth Vader on the Gophers.

"This is going to decide the challenge..." Zillum said with a frown as he and Onaga closed on Hank and Vader.

"Boy, I tell ya h'wat.." Hank Hill began to say to Darth Vader in his redneck Texan accent. "If it's only these two lizards left, I don't think it should be much of a challenge.."

"Overconfidence will get us both killed." Vader said cautiously as he moved forward.

"I wouldn't exactly say '_killed_'.." Hank Hill began. "Isn't this a-"

He was distracted, and because of that, he paid the price. Onaga had taken the opportunity to destroy his ship.

"Well done." Zillum said with a grin.

"This is our opposition!?" Onaga had to laugh. "They might as well give our team the win, right now.."

At that moment, another battleship sailed into view alongside Onaga and Zillum. It was Duncan's ship, which everyone had thought sunk earlier! Somehow, he had managed to keep his ship afloat. Now, Vader was outnumbered _three _to one!

"Any last words, Iron Lung?" Duncan asked Darth Vader with a smirk.

Vader narrowed his eyes, and readied to fire, but three salvoes from all three ships immediately ended the challenge, and won the Bass their latest victory! As Vader's ship sank beneath the waves, Zillum had to grin.

"Sweet victory..." He said proudly.

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Drew, Bridgette, and the rest of the Gophers sat together in a huddle. A rare occurrence, but one that was _needed_..

"Okay, we need to find out _why _the hell we are _losing _these challenges!" Heather was the first to speak, appearing _really _agitated.

"As much as I hate to agree with the likes of you, you're right." Rexy muttered.

"We may have won the last challenge, but this time..."

"We have won _twice_, people!" Heather yelled. "_Twice_! And how many episodes is this now? _Six_!? _Embarrassing_!"

"I say we put the fucking drama aside and band _together _from now on.." Drew gave his opinion. "We need to put aside our differences at _least _while we're competing! That way we can actually _win _much more often."

Bridgette nodded in agreement, leaning up against Drew.

"Drew is right.." Bridgette softly agreed. "Whatever drama or anger we might have, I say we _resolve _it.. Let's build bridges, not walls."

"She's right. We need to come together as a team." Blue declared.

"I say we _also _get rid of our biggest source of drama at the bonfire ceremony tonight.." Trent gave his thoughts now. "And I _don't _mean Heather.."

"How sweet.." Heather responded sarcastically. However, she couldn't help but appear curious as to who he was referring to.

"The Sorcerer?" Caesarius asked with narrowed eyes.

"That lying bastard?"

Trent nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah.. I mean, the dude broke Drew's heart, man." Trent began to explain. "I'm well aware things worked out for the better anyways, and I'm proud of you guys.."

Trent looked over at Drew and Bridgette, who were snuggled up together. They both gave Trent thankful smiles, before he continued on,

"But still.. He let Drew live a lie from the beginning.. And that's not cool. Besides, who knows _what _more drama he can stir up if he can morph into literally _anyone_?.."

Drew held his head down, silently agreeing with him. Bridgette held his hand comfortingly, as everyone kind of sat in silence for a little bit.

"I agree, Trent.." Drew finally spoke, his expression now firing up. "That fucker needs to _go_.."

"Same here.." Bridgette added.

"Aye." Caesarius affirmed.

"Down with the sorcerer." Rexy agreed.

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"I have to say, that was impressive at the end." Jack said to Duncan as the team headed back to the cabin.

"I know, right?.." Duncan smirked, already believing it himself.

Jack opened the door to the cabin, and froze immediately. His eyes widened, and he blinked in surprise.

A pillow flew from the cabin, knocking Jack out. "Do you mind?!" The voice of Zillum yelled from inside the cabin.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Duncan couldn't help but fall to the ground in laughter, tears in his eyes. "Oh- Oh, _man_! They're getting freaky under the sheets!"

"SHUT IT DUNCAN!" Gwen yelled.

They had only been making out, but it..._was _getting a bit steamy apparently.

"Shit..." Owen Grady began to laugh. "They were..."

"Should someone make sure Duncan isn't going to laugh himself to death?" Skipper asked, trying not to laugh as well.

"Too little too late, apparently.." DJ responded with a slight smirk, looking down at Duncan, who was still dying laughing on the ground.

Zillum got up, and slammed the door shut. "Come back in, and it'll be the last thing you do!"

"Oh trust me," Duncan began in between chuckles. "we ain't gonna be the ones doing the coming in.."

There was dead silence, before Gwen growled. "Duncan, I'm warning you..!"

"Okay.. Alright.." Duncan rose his hands up in 'surrender', a smirk still remaining. "When the princess says it's enough, I suppose it's about that time to give the lovebirds some private time.."

Jack got up, rubbing his head.

Johnny Cage was chuckling as well, though no one knew exactly why.

"Do we even want to know?" Kyle asked.

"I saw her boobs when I first walked in.." Johnny Cage immaturely laughed, a smirk on his face as well. It was one of those expressions that showed he was clearly showing off.

"Pervert..." Carandial said, though he had to chuckle in agreement.

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"Campers, there are twenty seven campers here, and only twenty six marshmallows. The one who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk the dock of shame, board the boat of losers, and you can never come back. _Ever_." Chris explained.

"You don't say?" Drew sarcastically asked Chris, growing tired of the same old words Chris had said to them multiple times now.

Chris narrowed his eyes. "Way to ruin the moment, bud..."

"Anytime.." Drew retorted with a sarcastic wink.

"Drew, Bridgette," Chris shrugged.

The couple looked at each other with a smile, as they walked up together to claim their marshmallows.

As they went to get them, Chris dropped them on the ground with a smirk.

Drew and Bridgette narrowed their eyes, Drew getting in his face a bit.

"You got a problem, Chris?" Drew began to get a bit angered at that.

"Careful, don't want to get your girl disqualified do you?"

Drew could only growl in response before he and Bridgette walked back to their stumps, their hands interlocked, but both equally as angered at Chris.

"Caesarius, Blue, Liu Kang, Hank Hill, charcoal over Propane,"

"Now you listen _here_, mister!" Hank Hill exclaimed in anger over Chris' statement, his inner Super Saiyan beginning to take form.

A marshmallow proceeded to knock him over.

"T- Taste the.. _meat_!" Hank Hill yelled, slowly falling into unconsciousness. "Not the.. heat.." With that, Hank Hill finally fell unconscious due to the marshmallow.

"Randy, Squidward, the squirrels."

Scorpion simply took the marshmallow, and walked back to his seat.

"This joke grows old.." Scorpion told Chris.

At that moment, a Chipmunk dropped a coconut on his head.

"RAHHH!" Scorpion yelled at the top of his lungs, startling everyone. He launched his spear harpoon up into the tree at said chipmunk.

"_Squeaaaak_!" The chipmunk yelped in pain, as the harpoon pierced it's chest, before Scorpion pulled it directly into the campfire, leaving everyone in stunned silence.

"_Next _time!" Scorpion exclaimed in boiling rage towards Chris. "That will be _you_!"

Chris paled slightly. "Note to the Producers, send extra security..." He said, writing a note.

"Scorpion, Vader, Lee, Snowcone."

In that instant, a blue, icy substance shot from Sub-Zero's hands, directly into the campfire, putting it out. It was now pitch darkness, Sub-Zero standing up and simply walking away, having had enough for one night.

Soon, only two people, Shang Tsung and Heather remained.

"Campers, this is the last marshmallow..." Chris said.

"We can see that.." Scorpion impatiently observed with his arms crossed.

"Heather," Chris looked at Heather. "Shang Tsung,"

"The last marshmallow goes to..."

"Might as well just say Heather.." Drew said, annoyed. "We already know we voted that Sorcerer asshole out."

"Heather." Chris sighed.

Heather immediately took her marshmallow, giving a smirk of victory towards Shang Tsung, who glared daggers at Drew, followed by Chris.

"Dock of Shame awaits..." Chris said to the Sorcerer.

"You shall _rue _the day you decided to eliminate your most _stealthy _and resourceful competitor.." Shang Tsung told all of the Gophers, before Heather rolled her eyes.

"Pft.. Yeah, _right_. Bye, grandpa." Heather waved her goodbyes.

Shang Tsung could only give a growl, before he simply teleported away in a bundle of souls, which scattered into the night sky.

"Good riddance." Rexy snapped.

"To the Killer Gophers, and to _not _ending up here next week!" She then declared.

Drew and Bridgette looked at each other with knowing and determined grins, however _also _knowing that they would need to work harder.. Their relationship with Chris was slowly beginning to deteriorate more and more as each day went by..

They could hardly _stand _him at this point!

But that could be said for _most _contestants on Total Drama Island..


	7. 7, Gladiator

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island:" Chris began, while standing on the Dock Of Shame. "A game of battleship saw the Bass sink the Gopher's hopes of victory! Gwen and Zillum got a bit freaky, and Shang Tsung took the latest walk down the Dock of Shame! Now, the two teams are about to fight a different kind of battle! Stay tuned for the most exciting episode yet on Total. Drama. Island!"

*_Theme Song Plays_*

Drew, Scorpion, Luke, King Julien and Caesarius were asleep in one of the Gopher's cabins. It was 6:00 AM, and everything was peaceful.

"MORT!" Julien yelled suddenly, waking _everybody _up. Caesarius was thrown into the air and hit his head on Luke's bunk.

"_Ughh_!" Drew exclaimed, putting his pillow over his face. "Will you shut the fuck _up _about 'Mort'!? You do this _every _night!"

"Hahaha!" A small voice chuckled.

The others then saw a small lemur attached to Julien's feet. "HOW CAN I GET MY KINGLY BEAUTY SLEEP WHEN-" Julien stopped.

"How did you get here?" He asked.

Mort was too distracted, and kept cuddling Julien's feet.

"I swear by the _Elder _Gods.." Scorpion growled. "I'm about to do to him what I do to _other _rodents.."

"But I'm cushioned for comfort..." Mort said, trying to act all cute.

"And _I'm _losing my _patience_!" Scorpion yelled back, hopping down from his bunk.

"Oooh! Yellow ninja's funny!" Mort laughed.

Julien finally pried Mort off, and dropped him to the ground. "Stab him! Disembowel him!" Julien said nonchalantly.

"You'll be the one I go after _next_, Julien!" Scorpion warned, pointing at him.

"NO! You'll not go after King Julien!" Mort declared challengely.

Scorpion began to tremble, finally appearing to have enough. He took off his mask, revealing his true face, a demonic flaming skull.

"Think the furball going to die?" Luke asked to Caesarius.

"Yup."

Mort began to to laugh. "Hahaha! Great mask! I like you! You're so funny!"

Just as quickly as Mort had said that, Scorpion breathed Hellfire directly onto Mort's ass, giving it _quite _the burn!

"AAUUGGH! IT BURNS!" Mort yelled, running out of the cabin.

"RAGHH!" Scorpion yelled at the top of his lungs, pulling out his spear and chasing Mort outside.

Luke, Caesarius, and Drew looked to each other in surprising relief. Drew gave a relaxed exhale, before laying back down onto his pillow.

"Finally.. Now maybe we can sleep.." Drew quietly stated.

"Eh...does my fur need more gel?" Julien asked, hopping onto Drew's chest.

Drew's eyes immediately shot open, looking up at the lemur king, who was giving a pose.

Drew's response was shoving Julien off of the top bunk, and onto the ground.

"Eh...commoner must be on his poor period..."

"_One _more word out of you, Julien!" Drew exclaimed, sitting up and pointing at him. "Just _one _more is all it takes! I _will _come down there and whoop that ass!"

"What?! But my booty is perfectly calibrated! I'll shut up now!"

Drew growled in frustration and roughly laid back down.

"_Good_.." Drew roughly stated, shutting his eyes once more. .

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"Are you ready for your _EXTREME CHALLENGE?!_" Chris yelled at the assembled campers.

"No.." Squidward said, his expression uncaring.

"Will Jack, Randy, Erissare, Gwen, DJ, Scorpion-"

He was cut off when Mort screamed, running off in the distance, chased by a still, quite literally, fuming Scorpion.

"Um..._Squidward_, Johnny Cage, Vader, Drew, Zillum, Palpatine, Thor, Skipper, Lee, and Duncan?" He asked.

"You sixteen will be our fighters in the first ever...Camp Wawanakwa Mixed Mortal Kombat Tournament!"

Liu Kang's eyes immediately widened, cocking a brow,

"Uh.. _Mixed _Mortal Kombat Tournament? This isn't an official-"

"No, Liu.." Chris began with a smirk. "It's _not_.. Mixed Mortal Kombat is combining the terms 'mixed martial arts' with 'Mortal Kombat'.. Essentially, it operates like a UFC fight, but is a tournament like Mortal Kombat.."

Chris then looked among the 'lucky' competitors chosen, saying,

"So.. Unleash your inner Georges St-Pierre, and let's get to fighting!"

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"First up! In the blue corner, we got Zillum, the master of the Outer Rim, Bane of the Republic and Empire alike, and Gwen's new dom!" Chris announced.

Gwen and Zillum both glared daggers at Chris.

"And, in the red corner, we got Drew, who has wanted to be a UFC fighter his whole life, and currently sleeping with Bridgette!"

Drew gave Chris a glare for that one, as did Bridgette even moreso. However, they decided to ignore him, and Bridgette blew Drew a kiss for good luck.

"There will be _three _judges scoring this contest, as well as all the ones that follow.. Me, Joker, and Onaga!"

The Joker waved with the typical grin on his face, while Onaga simply sat there with a neutral expression.

Finally, Drew and Zillum walked to the center of the cage they were fighting in, very similar to a UFC one. Drew looked up at Zillum, who towered over him by quite a bit.

Zillum looked down at Drew, before assuming a fighting stance. Drew assumed one as well, before Chef got in between them.

"I'm Chef Hatchet.. Your _referee_!.." Chef made it known he didn't exactly want the position, but did it for the extra pay. "Let's have a clean fight! No groin shots, no eye pokes, and no bein' a _sissy_!"

Chef looked at both fighters, before he told them,

"Okay, touch gloves if you want to, then head back to your corners.. Let's get this show on the road!"

Drew took a deep breath, holding out his gloves for Zillum to touch. Zillum responded in kind, and nodded curtly.

"As he said, fair fight." Zillum declared.

"Wouldn't have it any other way.." Drew responded, moving back to his corner.

Chef blew the whistle, and the fight began.

Zillum advanced forward first, holding his arms defensively. Drew did nothing except for hold his fists up defensively, ready to block if necessary.

Zillum was a _big _guy, so one good shot, and Drew assumed it would be lights out for him! If he wanted to win this fight, Drew assumed taking it to the ground would be his best chance.

Drew constantly moved his feet, cutting angles and was constantly on the move, that way he wasn't a still target and could be more unpredictable.

Zillum was the first to make a move. He sent a heavy punch in Drew's direction, and then a downward's strike.

The heavy punch luckily missed, but the downward strike hit Drew in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards a bit. Just as Drew predicted: any _shot _from this behemoth was _bad _news!

He needed to be _much _more careful! He needed to wrestle for the takedown to neutralize his standing punches!

Zillum sent a second strike, but Drew dodged it. Drew quickly shot in for the single-leg, grabbing Zillum's left leg _tightly _in his arms. This only gave Zillum one leg to stand on, making his balance very shaky.

Having wrestled in high school and through _much _of his life, Drew used his foot to sweep Zillum's other leg, which sent the giant onto his back.

Zillum crashed to the ground, and before he could even register what just happened, Drew got the top mount, sitting on his chest.

Drew rained down some heavy punches down into Zillum's face, even mixing in some elbows every now and again. One elbow in particular cut part of Zillum's head open, drawing blood.

Zillum finally caught Drew's hand, and pushed him off, standing up again. This wasn't something that could easily happen, but considering how much _bigger _Zillum actually was, it was to be expected.

But even still, Drew mentally celebrated. He had _definitely _done some damage to Zillum! He was on _alert _now!

Zillum narrowed his eyes, and was more cautious in his next move.

However, before he or Drew could do anything, the whistle sounded, meaning the first round was over. Drew and Zillum both sat down in their respective corners, Bridgette in Drew's and Gwen in Zillum's.

"You good?" Gwen asked Zillum.

"Yeah, I can keep going. He's stronger than he looks..."

Bridgette put a water bottle up to Drew's mouth so he could drink and get a bit of energy back.

"You're doing good, babe!" Bridgette exclaimed. "I never _knew _you could wrestle!"

Drew smiled at Bridgette and replied,

"Sure can! Won my high school State Championship!"

Bridgette had to stand there awestruck, that is, until Chef blew the whistle once again. The second round was about to start. Bridgette gave Drew a peck on the lips for good luck, while in the other corner, Zillum and Gwen shared a quick kiss, and Zillum returned.

Zillum raised his fists, and as soon as the whistle blew, Zillum _lunged _forward, like a speeding bullet.

Drew tried counteracting this by putting Zillum in a clinch, but Zillum easily got free and shoved Drew to the ground.

Drew quickly stood to his feet, however, the worst possible thing happened. Zillum got ahold of Drew!

_BAM!_

One punch was _all _it took from Zillum! Drew was hit with a _massive _right hand by Zillum! It was honestly a _miracle _that Drew's jaw wasn't broken.

Drew fell to the ground, his vision completely a blur. He was in a _complete _daze!

"DREW!" Bridgette paled, watching her boyfriend get nearly murdered.

"Ooh.." Chris cringed with a devious grin. "OuUch!.."

Zillum raised his fist, and knocked Drew back to the ground one last time.

Drew's vision was even _worse _for wear, as he was now seeing double. He wasn't even _facing _Zillum correctly, he was so disoriented!

Chef decided to let this continue, him chuckling evilly under his breath.

Zillum hesitated a moment, realizing what was going on. He proceeded to send a punch that _looked _painful and dangerous, but in reality was intended to minimize damage, just to let Drew have some chance to recover. He didn't want to kill Drew after all. He was a good kid.

Chris narrowed his eyes and stood up out of his chair. He knew a fake when he saw it.

"Hey!" Chris yelled to Zillum. "You better keep this fight real or you are _off _Total Drama Island!"

Zillum hesitated for a moment, raising his fist one last time. However, he knew that if he did this, he might very well _kill _Drew. Bridgette knew it too.

But out of _nowhere_, Zillum's breath was taken away when he was _quite _literally swept off his feet! Drew had recovered just enough to see where Zillum actually was again, but was still _badly _battered! Drew's blood was leaking all over the cage floor.

_SLAM!_

Zillum fell to the ground even harder than the first time! Drew had _gotten _the second takedown!

Zillum glared daggers. But not at Drew, but instead at Chef, Chris, Onaga and the Joker. He hated this game so much… Sure, he wouldn't care if he killed Drew in the past, but now...for some reason, he hesitated…

Through Zillum's thoughts, Drew decided he wasn't taking _any _chances of getting shoved off again like he did last time! Much like how he was a master wrestler, Drew was _also _a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu!

Drew grabbed ahold of Zillum's _gigantic _arm, and put it in between his legs, overextending it. Drew was currently performing the _armbar_, a _very _painful move on the one taking it! It would overextend one's arm, and if enough pressure was out on it, would cause the arm to _fracture_!

Zillum hesitated. He could handle the pain, but was a fight worth breaking his arm?

There was stunned silence from the other campers as they watched, before Zillum finally tapped out.

Everyone had to gasp. Chris, Onaga, and the Joker _all _had to stand up out of their seats, as did the other campers.

After a few seconds of stunned silence, the campers all cheered at the top of their lungs. Even the ones on the _Bass _team had to commend Drew for this performance.

Chef blew the whistle, calling the fight over.

Drew rolled off of Zillum and onto his back. His face was still leaking blood, and he even felt a tear come to his eye. He could not _believe _what he had just achieved! This felt like the _finale _if anything! When in reality this was the first _fight_!

He turned to see Zillum had sat up. For a moment, they made eye-contact, an unreadable expression on the Mortalitas general's face.

Drew struggled to his feet, wobbling over to Zillum, who was sitting up on the ground. He offered him a helping hand, shooting a friendly grin at Zillum, one of his teeth having gone missing from a punch.

Zillum smiled, and took the hand. As they stood up, they hugged each other respectfully, before shaking hands.

"You're strong, Drew. Not many have ever accomplished that feat. Be proud of yourself. You deserve this victory." Zillum said with sincere pride.

"Get outta here, man.." Drew continued to grin, feeling really good because of Zillum's compliment. "Do you _know _how hard you hit!? Christ, man! You about knocked my head off and gave me Ali Syndrome after _two _punches! Just.._wow_!"

Zillum nodded. "Best of luck in your next fight. I expect the best from a fighter like you. Regardless of the final result, you have my respect."

"Same here.." Drew responded, giving a respectful martial arts bow. "May the best team win."

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To say it was an interesting night would be an understatement. Jack performed well, and now, it was just him, and Drew for the final fight. It all came down to this.

Kyle was in Jack's corner, Bridgette in Drew's.

Zillum watched both with pride. Drew was the next person to join their alliance. He would be a _formidable _ally. Jack had had a great night as well, and had already earned his stripes.

Drew had done it _all _tonight! Not only had he bested him, but he had knocked out Thor in the _first_ round and even took a now _battered _Duncan to an easy unanimous decision victory on the judges' scorecards.

Jack had performed well as well. He had knocked out Erissare, despite receiving a nasty scar in the process. Vader was a lot tougher, but somehow, Jack came through. And now, both fighters, battered and bruised, were going to settle the scar.

Just before the fight, Jack and Drew both tapped their gloves together as a sign of respect. "May the best man win." Jack said.

Drew flashed Jack his toothy grin, his new gape evidently showing due to his scrap with Zillum.

"May the best man win.." Drew repeated. "This is it."

As Chef blew the whistle, Jack was the first to make a move. He sent a quick, deadly right hook into Drew's face, causing him to stumble back a bit, before trying to get him in a Muay Thai Clinch.

Drew was easily able to prevent it getting to a full Muay Thai Clinch, as in wrestling he was taught over and _over _again how not to let it get to such a bad position, as well as how to escape it if it did.

Drew sent a quick knee into Jack's gut, before retreating backwards to where he could get some room to move around.

Jack hesitated, before he sent a feint punch at Drew's face, before sending a swift, painful jab into his rib cage, and then elbowing him _hard _in the face. Drew stumbled back a bit, but wasn't out yet. Not by a long shot. Though it hurt a _hell _of a lot more than it would have! And that was because of the injuries he carried with him from his fight with Zillum.. Even _Duncan _earlier had caught him with a solid hook in the second round of their fight.

However, Jack made a fatal mistake. His next attempt was dodged by Drew, who saw the opening and sent a _massive _right uppercut into Jack's chin, _rocking _him. Before Jack could have room to recover, Drew wrapped his arms around Jack like he was giving him a hug, putting him in a _tight _bodylock.

With the bodylock in tight, and with Jack's vision a blur, it wouldn't be long before-

_SLAM!_

Drew picked Jack up _over _his shoulders, causing the crowd to 'ooh' and 'ahh' at the feat. And when the sound of the slam echoed throughout the surrounding area.. The crowd just went absolutely _insane_!

"Woo! Yeah, Drew! _Get _him!" Bridgette shouted encouragement in Drew's corner, the adrenaline pumping in not only her, but _everyone's _veins!

However, Jack seemed to recover suddenly, and launched a series of _vicious _strikes that seemed to turn the tide a bit. The crowd began to cheer as the fight continued to escalate. However, Drew soon recovered as well, and very soon, it became a cycle. Two more rounds of the two going back and forth, one gaining the advantage, before losing it. They were both fighting _hard_, and…

It ended. At the tail end of the third round, Drew finally broke the deadlock; Jack and Drew's stamina were _both _being tested.. Mostly because of the multiple fights in such a short timespan.

However, Drew's seemed to hold up just _slightly _more..

Jack threw a sluggish punch because of his evident exhaustion, and that was what Drew was waiting on. With Jack's guard exposed, Drew had but _one _final burst of energy left. He needed to make it count!

And oh, how he _did_..

_SMACK!_

Drew had leapt up in the air and sent a _flying _knee into Jack's chin! The force of such a blow this late into the fight was simply _too _much..

Jack fell into unconsciousness like a true _warrior_!

Chef blew the whistle, knowing this fight to be over.

"Gophers win, Bass lose!" Chef announced, stepping out of the cage, the crowd going absolutely _wild_!

Even the Bass had to cheer. The fight had been long, but now, it was finally over. A tournament full of _incredible _fights, and now, the result. Zillum was the first to congratulate Drew.

"Well done, warrior." He said.

"Oh.. th- tha- _thanks_!.." Drew stuttered his words due to pure exhaustion and because of his brain being jarred all night.

Kyle helped Jack to his feet. For a moment, the two fighters looked at each other, before Jack grinned. "Good job man..." He panted.

"I.. I can s- see now why fat boy was so scared of you.." Drew panted in return with a chuckle, still stuttering a bit.

"Gophers, gotta say, that was impressive." Chris chuckled. "Bass, I'll see you at the campfire tonight."

Zillum stopped, realizing they'd have to vote someone off. This time, he didn't really want to vote anyone off. No-one had even been a prick today!

He frowned at Chris' comment, before noticing Onaga approaching, looking positively enraged with his team. As the Gophers headed off to celebrate, the Bass fell silent.

"What is _wrong _with this team!? _Insignificant_! Each _one _of you! I would have wiped the _floor _with these so called 'fighters' had I been allowed to compete!" Onaga angrily yelled at the entire Bass team, fuming.

Zillum narrowed his eyes. "You saw how hard everyone of us fought out there! They won fair and square."

Onaga sarcastically chuckled.

"Yeah, well.. _Clearly _it wasn't hard _enough_!" Onaga retorted. "You lost to a _shorter_, _weaker_, _mortal_!"

"Oh SHUT UP!" Jack screamed so loud that there was dead silence. Even the Gophers had to freeze when they heard the ferocity in Jack's voice. Even Chris and Chef were taken aback.

Onaga turned his gaze towards Jack, now looking at him murderously, stomping towards him in the center of the cage.

The tension was so high, it was _unreal_!

"I'm afraid I must not have heard you clearly.." Onaga stated eerily calmly.

Jack narrowed his eyes, and stood up, looking Onaga in the eye.

"You heard me loud and clear."

After several more seconds of tense and frightening silence, Onaga's wicked laugh startled most of the spectators watching.

"You are _brave_, mortal.." Onaga stated. "Braver than _most_. But also more _foolish_! You would be _wise _to hold your tongue.."

Jack looked at Onaga, before turning to his team.

"We fought the _best _we could today!" He said to his team.

"We have all given our best every challenge. _Not_," Jack pointed to Onaga.

"Because of his strategies since the Baseball game!"

Onaga could only smirk as Jack spoke.

"That is honestly _very _touching.." Onaga sarcastically stated. "It really _tugs _at my black, soulless heart.."

"But because we are a team! A team that has more class and loyalty and kinship than this _monster _could even comprehend! We went through hell and back in every chapter here, and he has been here, no doubt planning these challenges with Chris!"

Chris' expression became very nervous for a second, but before anyone could see it, Onaga kept his composure, and his face neutral, lying _very _convincingly,

"You are _delusional_.." Onaga began his lie. "Clearly all those blows to the head inches you closer and closer to conspiracy territory.. You think I _want _to be here!? I only came here to thwart Shao Kahn! And now I'm simply _stuck _here!"

"_Not _much longer!" Jack thundered. There was dead silence, so much so that you could hear a pin drop. Did...Jack just _openly _threaten Onaga?

Onaga stomped closer to Jack, causing reality to _really _set in even further now.

"You play with _fire_, mortal!" Onaga yelled in Jack's face.

Jack met his gaze angrily.

"You won't intimidate me, Dragon King."

"Is that so?.." Onaga questioned, holding his arms out. "Then strike me down.. _Prove _to us all that you are _worthy_! Prove that you are not intimidated!"

Jack took a deep breath, before leaping forward, and sending a kick directly into Onaga's face. The Dragon King only flinched a bit, but the realization was there.

Jack stood firm, before Zillum joined his side.

"_ROARRR_!" Onaga roared at the top of his lungs, the sound echoing throughout the entire island.

He was _pissed_!

Onaga stomped forward fire in his eyes. Duncan, Drew, DJ.. Hell, _anyone _tried to hold him back! But Onaga simply pushed them _feet _away with an effortless shove.

He was out for _blood_!

Jack didn't flinch, he simply closed his eyes, awaiting his fate.

Shoving Sub-Zero out of the way now, Onaga used his massive hand to grab Jack by the shirt, effortlessly lifting him in the air.

Onaga then prepared to use his flame breath to burn him to a crisp. That is, until Chris ran up to the cage and intervened,

"_Onaga_!"

Onaga looked Chris' way, albeit _very _angry and _very _impatient. Chris paled, before he cleared his throat and explained,

"You _do _know that if you harm or kill Jack in _any _way, you'll be kicked off the island.. Not only that, but the producers will also _cut _the show entirely! That means.. no rewards or, '_special promises_' will be kept either!" Chris winked subtly at Onaga as he said 'special promises', referring to their secret deal and alliance.

Onaga looked down, before he growled angrily. He looked at Jack who was still in his hands, before throwing him against the fence of the cage, storming out in a rage.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Campers, this is the last marshmallow."

Kyle looked to the team. It had come down to him and Onaga. "The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately return to the dock of shame, catch the boat of losers, and leave. And..."

Chris sighed. "You know what, I'm not in the mood for that tonight."

He held up the final marshmallow, and Kyle and Onaga waited.

Onaga sat there surprisingly calm. Though he was _always _that way! Either calm, or really, _really _pissed!

Luckily, Onaga seemed to have cooled off now.

"Kyle, Onaga." Chris said suddenly. Dead silence. He had said _both _their names. He said nothing more for a few seconds, waiting for a response from both of them.

"What?" Kyle asked. That meant that they _both _were safe!

"What is the meaning of this?" Onaga demanded, though he wasn't near as angry now. "So then _who _is eliminated?"

"Jack. The dock of shame awaits bro."

There was a gasp, before Jack simply stood up.

Kyle was too stunned to speak. In fact, most of the team was just speechless.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Duncan exclaimed. "Hold _on _a second! Why the hell is _Jack _going home!?"

"Simple, you voted him off." Chris said with a devious chuckle.

Jack looked to the team, before saying. "Make sure Onaga loses..." Was all he said before he walked off, and boarded the Boat of Losers, and just like that, he was gone…

The Bass had just lost one of their _strongest _players!

All the while, Onaga sat there, a devious grin on his face..

He was _untouchable_!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Drew followed Scorpion and Sub-Zero to the alliance's meeting place, having no idea why they had asked him to join them. He hadn't heard a word from the Bass after what had happened with Onaga. In fact, the whole air around the camp seemed… different.

"Where is it we're going?.." Drew questioned. "The Boathouse, right?"

Sub-Zero nodded.

"That's correct.. Me, Scorpion, Duncan, Jack, and Zillum foresaw _great _potential in you. But we shall explain further once there."

Drew nodded in understanding, simply following the two warriors.

Finally, they entered the boathouse, but now, only Duncan and Zillum were there, both silent.

Drew cocked a brow, looking around a bit.

"Um.. Aren't you guys short a member?" Drew questioned.

"Onaga had Jack voted off." Zillum said simply.

Drew's eyes widened and his skin paled at that statement. He looked down, sinking in just _how _dangerous Onaga was at this point. More than he already _was_, and that was saying something!

"At this point," Zillum added.

"It's no longer a matter of teams. We need to defeat Onaga. Because the threat he poses, if he does win..."

"We'll need as many people on our side as possible if we are to possibly stop him. Once the merge happens, we may have a chance...But until then, he is untouchable."

"I- I understand.." Drew responded, almost too stunned to say much. He then looked up at Zillum, saying, "I.. I just want to ensure that Bridgette is as safe from elimination as possible, as well! I can only _imagine _what Kyle is going through right now! He could probably do that _whenever _he wanted just to get to us."

"That is why I want you to find as many people as possible, but only people we can trust. Kyle, Gwen, and Bridgette are already likely allies, but we need more help..." He took a deep breath.

"When the time comes for the merge, we need to be a majority strong enough to vote him off. That must be our priority. Because, my friends, as of this moment, we are at war!"


	8. 8, Rated M For a Reason!

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Hey, Chris here!" Chris said.

"Now, unfortunately, ratings have been a bit low because a large chunk of campers...have been doing squat!"

He coughed, saying "Simba."

"So, in light of poor ratings, the producers and I pulled some strings, and..." He then shrugged with a smirk. "Let's just say for those _two _Sam Wilson fans out there, sucks to be you.."

Chris began to chuckle. "Well, you'll see. Now, get ready for this episode of...TOTAL. DRAMA. ISLAND!"

*_Theme Song Plays_*

"Weren't there a _lot _more of us?" Gwen asked, confused by the sudden disappearance of so many people. Hell, there were only thirty six people now, when before, there was around fifty.

"I wonder what happened to them.." Bridgette commented, also wondering why the number of campers had nearly been sliced in _half_.

All the remaining campers were currently all standing outside of their cabins, both teams conversing with one another with no sort of animosity for the time being.

"NOOOO!" They all heard someone yell from inside one of the cabins.

Drew sighed and looked at Bridgette with a knowing expression. Even though they were on the opposite team, _everyone _knew full well about what Johnny Cage had on his mind. He basically spoke his thoughts nearly _every _day, after all!

Duncan stepped out of the cabin, his eyes slightly rolled. He shut the door to only slightly mute the blubbering of Johnny Cage, sighing before announcing,

"I told JC that Bebe was gone. He.." Duncan cringed slightly as Johnny Cage yelled,

"BEBE NOOO!"

_*Confession Cam*_

Duncan shook his head, using his knife to carve a skull inside the wooden outhouse, before saying,

"Pretty boy is just as bad as _party _boy.." There was a slight pause before he pocketed his knife, finishing, "Pfft.. Get a life.."

_*End Confession Cam*_

The campers who were left(Kyle, Johnny Cage, Carandial, Zillum, Owen Grady, Kung Lao, Bill Dauterive, Skipper, Dale Gribble, Patrick, Kitana, Duncan, Gwen, the fat ass, DJ, Leshawna, Homer, Onaga on the Bass, and Vader, Lee, Caesarius, Julien, Blue, Drew, Sub-Zero, Liu Kang, Hank, Squidward, Randy, Harold, Bridgette, Heather, Luke, Scorpion, Erissare and Rexy on the Gophers) were still talking, when Vader heard something.

"Silence!" He said suddenly, looking around. He knew something was nearby.

"Quiet." He said more calmly.

"Q- Quiet?" Vader heard someone ask. And by someone, it was Johnny Cage, who was stepping outside the cabin, wiping a tear away and using his sunglasses to cover up his disappointment. He forced his usual smirk and joked,

"Y'know, I was _in _a movie called 'Ninja Mime', and the thing about mimes is that they're really quiet and-"

"No-one cares." Gwen said sarcastically.

"Pft.." Johnny Cage rolled his eyes, getting a bit flustered. "Listen sunshine, we all know you're just _mad _that I reminded you of your ex-boyfriend's phobia and you got a little _sad_.. Sorry to hurt your feelings. I can tell you've got that area covered.." He finished, referring to her goth appearance.

"At least I don't hide behind some stupid act like you do." Gwen shot back.

"Look, we all hate you, and none of us, especially Bebe, give a rat's ass about you or your stupid attempt at acting that for all intents and purposes should win a Razzie."

"Damn..." Luke said.

"Boom, roasted..." Skipper chuckled.

"About time someone shut you up..." Zillum added.

"Oh, _bite _me!" Johnny Cage flipped Zillum the bird. "Discount Onaga.." He insulted afterwards, which Zillum punched him square in the face, knocking him to the ground. His legs went up as he landed on his back, before they fell to the ground.

There was a cracking sound as Johnny Cage's sunglasses broke.

Johnny Cage looked over at his broken sunglasses, before he looked back up into Zillum's eyes and angrily said,

"Those were $500 sunglasses, asshole.."

With that, Johnny Cage pulled off his signature move, raising up his foot and kicking Zillum _straight _in the balls!

Zillum winced as he fell to the ground. "You..." He rasped, looking up at Johnny Cage, his eyes blazing. "Are going to _die_ for that!"

"Hey, break it up!" Chris yelled, walking over. "It's a _lot_ of paperwork if someone dies."

"Oh no..." Kyle muttered. He knew another challenge was imminent.

"_This _should be good.." Bridgette sarcastically commented with her hands on her hips as she stood by her boyfriend, Drew.

"Heh, it can't be too bad! I'm the king, so I won't have to do whatever he puts you..._commoners_ through..." King Julien said dismissively.

"And _this_.." Drew began as he spoke to Bridgette with an unsurprised look. "Is why he won't make it to the final two.."

"And you will?" King Julien asked. He made a disgusted noise, waving Drew off like he was his servant or something.

"Working class riff raff.."

"Watch this.." Drew whispered to Bridgette with a smirk, before putting on a 'concerned' face. "Oh my God! King Julien! It's _Mort _about to touch your _feet_!" Drew yelled as he pointed behind King Julien.

Julien screamed in girly terror, and he ran off. Drew and Bridgette began to laugh, before they noticed...Mort really _was _on Julien's foot! How he got there? They had no idea.

"And just like that," Drew narrowed his eyes in defeat. "now Julien is gonna offer me the 'privilege' of picking out his hair gel for tomorrow for 'warning him'.." Drew finished with a sigh.

"You _poor _thing.." Bridgette sympathetically said.

"And..." Chris chuckled nervously, looking at Onaga. "Apparently, the Producers...well..."

"Oh, blah blah blah.." Heather rolled her eyes. "Producers, this. Producers, that.. Get _on _with it, already.. What did those corporate jackoffs think up _this _time?.."

"They decided to bring back two contestants and allow two new ones to join." Chris said nervously, giving Onaga a signal that said 'I had _nothing _to do with this'.

"_What _contestants!?.." Onaga growled, stepping closer to Chris.

"JACK!" Kyle yelled happily, catching everyone off guard. Zillum turned, and was stunned to see Jack had returned. He and Kyle were hugging, though Jack looked towards Onaga with suspicion.

"Oh, _hail _nah!" LeShawna yelled at Chris. "Why do people we _voted _off get to come back? That's not fair to the _rest _of us who been workin' our _booty _off!"

"LeShawna," Chris began. "Does it look like I care?" He asked with a smirk.

"Oh I'll _show _you 'care' in a minute!" LeShawna yelled, balling her fists up as she stormed in his direction, only to be held back by Scorpion and Darth Vader.

"And joining the Gopher team..." Chris began, not paying attention.

"Oh no..." Luke began.

"Um.. who are you?" Kung Lao asked in curiousness.

Everyone turned to see a tall reptilian step into view. He was taller than even _Zillum_, with dark red scales, feathers that resembled spikes jutting from the back of his raptor-like head, and blood red eyes. He looked between the now shocked members of both teams, saying nothing and maintaining a cool expression.

"Ooh, wow.. Another dinosaur." Randy then proceeded to yawn overdramatically. "_Boring_.." In just a few words, Randy had managed to offend the likes of Rexy, Blue, Zillum, Carandial, Caesarius, Erissare and this newcomer all at once.

There was dead silence for a moment.

"Bro...you're going to _die_." Erissare commented, no hint of sarcasm or humor in her voice, just sheer terror.

"'Too much paperwork', remember?" Randy smirked, proceeding to drink out of his flask.

At that moment, the flask shattered, the newcomer having simply snapped his fingers and causing it to break, depriving Randy of the very _last _of the supply of booze he brought to the island. And even worse, the flask was a _collectible _he had gotten at a football game!

"NOOOO!" Randy shouted, shaking the very being of Camp Wawanakwa. "You.. _bastard_!" Randy scowled, putting up his fists overdramatically as he did against dads at football games. "You wanna go, bro? Against _me_!? Randy Mar-"

He was promptly punched in the face with enough force to knock him down. "I may have faced worse, but never such...stupidity."

Randy then got up in a daze, his fists still up.

"Ha! You th- think that hurt!? My _wife _can hit better than-"

Bridgette winced at the ferocity of the punch that followed. In fact, most of the campers were...disturbed by such...violence…

Randy struggled to his feet once again with a pained laugh.

"You just used up the _last _of your energy-"

"OOOH!" Jack winced from the next punch, covering Kyle's eyes from the sight.

Randy merely raised up his finger while laying face down on the ground, before saying,

"Running on empty now-"

"Um, Lord Emperor?" Caesarius asked, walking up to the newcomer, and bowing slightly.

"He is but a gnat. There are more pressing matters."

"Oh, 'gnat' huh? Oh ha _ha_! You want some too, motherf-" Randy began.

Tyromairon groaned, picked Randy up, and _threw _him into the air, causing him to fly through the air while making the classic Goofy scream, before slamming into a nearby mountain with enough force to shatter it…

"Okay.." Randy said in a muffled voice. "I give up.."

Tyromairon sighed. "Finally."

He looked to the rest of the team.

"I am Emperor Tyromairon of the Galactic Empire of Cyrannus." He introduced. "You have nothing to fear from me, unless of course you are as mildly irritating as that drunkard..."

"_Finally_!" The familiar voice of Shao Kahn suddenly yelled out as he stomped into the scene, causing the likes of Liu Kang, Kung Lao, and Kitana to scowl at his presence.

"What is _he _doing here!?" Onaga thundered, looking at Chris.

"_You_!" Shao Kahn exclaimed, stomping towards Onaga with his newfound War Hammer. "You will taste the steel of my War Hammer-"

"Contract!" Chris said frantically. "You guys kill each other, then _no-one _gets to absorb Earth-"

"What?!" Several contestants exclaimed.

"Absorb...Earth's hippy population!" Chris said quickly. "Icksnay on the ightisfae!" He whispered.

"Very _well_.." Shao Kahn growled, before sensing Onaga a glare, to which the Dragon King returned.

At that moment, Chris felt a claw tap on his shoulder.

"Hello.." Mr. Krabs introduced, squinting his eyes as he read an index card that he had in his claw to remember his name. "_Chris_.. I was wondering if you had me money?"

"You get it if you win..." Chris replied with a grin.

"Argh.." Mr. Krabs mumbled in disappointment as he walked beside Squidward, who had a horrified expression on his face. "Aye.. Hello, Mr. Squidward."

"Someone puh_-lease _kick me off this island!" Squidward yelled.

"Alright, since we're all here, today's challenge is..." Chris chuckled sadistically. "Let's just say it's going to be _great_!"

"_Dammit_.." Hank Hill narrowed his eyes while adjusting his glasses. "When this Canadian idyit says something's 'great', usually it turns out to be the opposite.."

"Figure that out on your own?.." Duncan sarcastically responded to Hank's comment.

"If you'll follow me to the amphitheater," Chris said, that same sadistic grin still in place.

"We're _fucked..._" Kyle muttered.

"Not _yet_.." The voice of Chef Hatchet spoke from inside the security camera room, before he chuckled sinisterly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The contestants finally arrived at the amphitheater but…

It was...different

There were stripper poles all over the place as well as chairs and beds that looked like they came from...a brothel…

Gwen's eyes widened. "You're...you're not...you're not-"

"Oh _I'm _not.." Chris chuckled, squirting some lotion in his hand. "But _you _are.."

However, rather than use the lotion what they thought he would use it for, he merely rubbed it on his arms, using it how it was intended.

"Contestants, today's challenge is simple. Whoever can last the longest in five 'special' challenges' wins invincibility. The _teases _who chicken out instantly cause their team to lose the challenge."

"I'll kill him.. I'm gonna _fucking _kill him!" Heather screamed, none of the other campers saying or doing anything to stop her, as they scowled at Chris. Though of course, a select _few _were excited.. Like Bill and Johnny Cage.

"Sorry, nothing _that _extreme. You'll have to make do with regular old foreplay and dances..."

He winked at Bridgette.

Drew stepped in front of Bridgette, before beginning to march in his direction, his fists balled up ready to beat the life out of the Canadian host. However, Chris said something that made Drew freeze in his tracks. "Careful, Drew...you punch me and your girlfriend gets to have a private talk with Pornstar Chef..."

Chef waved with a sick grin.

Drew simply cringed, before he shook his head and said with all seriousness,

"This is illegal, man.. _Totally _fucking illegal!"

"Oh, no big deal," Chris laughed, waving it off. "Some bribes here and some lobbying there and it will be the _hottest _show on television, literally."

"You're _sick_!" Bridgette yelled, before Heather nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I hate surfer girl as much as anyone besides Eva, but she's _right_! I'm not giving into your.. _perverted _challenges!"

"Yes," Zillum added. "If you force _anyone _here into this, I'm going to-"

"Oh Onaga?" Chris asked with a grin. "Tell them what happens if they refuse."

Onaga eyed everyone coldly, sending chills into most of them, before saying,

"You will compete in the challenges, or else I have _full _access to merging the realms! The Producers beat the power of even the _Elder _Gods.. Who knew? Oh, and anyone who still refuses? I will see to it that you receive your own individual death.."

"I by no means _fear_ this hideous dragon!" Shao Kahn insulted, causing Onaga to growl. "But I for one don't see the big _deal _in this game.. Sexual acts are _nothing_.. Dare I say, this will likely be the _easiest _challenge yet!"

"Says the virgin..." Tyromairon sighed dismissively.

Shao Kahn turned with a growl, summoning his War Hammer, saying,

"Want to say that over _here_!? I thought it not possible, but I think I found a reptile even uglier than _Onaga_!"

"So you looked in the mirror and discovered you were part dragon it seems..." Tyromairon responded, crossing his arms. "Don't worry. Some therapy and a comfort woman and you'll be right as rain..."

Onaga couldn't help but stifle a laugh, causing Shao Kahn to merely laugh himself.

"Yet you still stand all the way over there.. Hiding behind the likes of Johnny _Cage_.. Pathetic." Shao Kahn ridiculed.

Johnny Cage was promptly thrown out of the way by Tyromairon, who walked up to Shao Kahn and said. "You do know you're still holding the rubber duck and _not _your toy hammer?"

Shao Kahn looked down, and saw that his once steel hammer was once again a rubber duck, causing him to toss it to the ground.

He then bumped chests with Tyromairon, before deeply saying,

"Don't _need _it.."

"But you do need a mint..." Tyromairon replied, before Chris blew his whistle.

"Are we here to watch these faggots argue over who's on top or start the XXX challenge?"

Harold then reached into his pocket, pulling out his leopard print wallet, before he said,

"Been saving this for a _special _occasion.."

Out of the wallet, he then pulled out an extra small condom, before he stood there with a grin.

"Let's _do _this.." Harold excitedly said.

"Up first..." Chris said. "Bridgette!"

"What!?" Drew yelled out, ready to kill Chris again, before Bridgette touched his shoulder and said,

"Drew?" Drew then softened up, looking at Bridgette, who sighed. "I _got _this.. It's _just _a lap dance.. It's not like it's _sex_.."

Drew then sighed, glaring daggers at the still smirking Chris, before he sighed and nodded.

"Okay.." Was all Drew said, before walking back to his team, though still with frustration in his heart.

"Bridgette, you'll be wearing this," Chris said, pulling out a skimpy, light blue surfer bikini, "and your lucky client is Randy!"

"Aw hell _yeah_!" Randy yelled in excitement as he limped into view, still injured from being tossed into the mountain.

"And on the Bass...Bill,"

"_Eeeee_!" Bill clapped his hands gayly with a squeal that very much resembled Katie and Sadie, causing everyone to cringe.

"You'll be giving a lap dance,"

Everyone's eyes widened as they realized that this fat guy would be giving a lap dance to some poor soul…

"Owen Grady."

Owen Grady's eyes widened in abject horror.

"Alpha, I can kill him if you want-" Blue began, concerned, but Owen Grady held up his hand.

"Let's just get this over with so I can find a tidepod..."

With that, the sexy music started, played by none other than DJ Joker. The lap dances were now set to begin..

Bridgette took a deep breath, as Randy patted his lap and said,

"Come on, sexy.. This boner ain't about to fix itself!"

Drew took a deep breath, resisting the urge to kill somebody, and instead just closed his eyes in anger.

He felt a hand placed on his shoulder comfortingly, and saw Tyromairon glaring daggers at Chris, Randy, Chef and the Joker.

Drew said nothing, and only continued to focus on controlling his anger.

Bridgette began to lower her ass on Randy's lap, much to his amusement. She then began to twerk as the beach song from the 70's played aloud, Randy's eyes going wide as he groaned.

"Oh.. Oh gawd!" Randy yelled. "I.. I-"

Randy's face immediately became a familiar one.. He had just..

Bridgette looked behind her, before screaming in horror, simply walking back towards her team, as Randy sat there with a satisfied expression.

"Damn where'd she go?" Randy asked. "I didn't give her the $1 tip.."

"Owen," Chris said to a fuming Owen Grady, "If you can last longer than Randy, you'll score the first point..."

Meanwhile, Bill walked out into view in his 'costume'.

"Okay. I'm ready to perform.." Bill grinned, as everyone looked in horror. Bill's costume was..

_Nothing_! He had _no _clothes on!

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut, causing Jack to wrap an arm around his boyfriend. Homer was the only one not affected, instead enamored by the donut he was eating.

"Is suicide allowed on this show?" Shao Kahn asked Chris.

"Not until the producers give it the greenlight..." Chris shrugged.

Owen Grady sat on the chair, shaking in abject disgust and anger as Billy sexily approached him.

Owen shook his head, preparing to stand out of the chair, before Bill shoved him back into it.

"Where ya going, cutie? We're gonna have a _party_.." Bill tried to seduce Owen for the challenge, his small dick waving near his face.

Blue screeched in rage, and had to be held back by Caesarius and Erissare as she tried to lunge at Bill.

Heather then proceeded to throw up all over the floor, before she briefly passed out.

For the next thirty minutes, Bill gave Owen a lap dance. Not _once _did he ever get hard. In fact...any hint of arousal from seeing Bridgette give Randy a lap dance was gone…

Finally, Chris sighed. "Owen wins."

"Aw.." Bill said as his fat ass got off of Owen's lap. "But I was just getting _started_.."

Owen's eyes slammed shut, and he shoved Bill out of the way, and ran towards his team. He immediately began to cry, having to get comforted by Zillum and Duncan…

"Up next, Gwen, Kitana and Mr. Krabs on the Bass VS King Julien, Squidward, and Scorpion for pole dances."

"OH THAT IS IT!" Zillum screamed, lunging at Chris. "I am going to rip your head off!"

"And then char your putrid _soul _in the Netherrealm!" Scorpion growled, approaching Chris with his flaming spear.

"Oh I don't know..." Julien said, twiddling his thumbs. "We might just win this challenge yet...my booty is _easily _the best on the island! Unlike the commoner's flat concubine..."

Drew, who was so used to Julien insulting him, couldn't help but look behind himself, before giving a 'what the fuck' look to Julien, having snapped out of his angered thoughts.

"Ladies..." Chris said to Gwen and Kitana. "You two won't have to worry about any revealing outfits...Boys, you'll wear these My Little Pony panties..."

Scorpion surprised Chris by merely snatching a pair of panties from his hands with his demon eyes narrowed.

"I want them in black.. Otherwise I will kill you." Scorpion threatened.

Chris sighed, and handed Scorpion a black pair of panties. Gwen had her eyes squeezed shut as she stripped naked, while Kitana simply sighed, having been used to doing things like this in Outworld before.. After all, Shao Kahn _forced _her for the entertainment of his soldiers..

Duncan noticed Zillum trembling in absolute rage. It was clear that this, above all else, sent the Mortalitas General to the very edge of blind fury…

"_Relax_, dude.." Duncan whispered to Zillum. "Just be lucky it's just a pole dance and not.. y'know, something _worse_.."

Zillum sighed. "I just hate feeling _helpless_ like this...As I'm sure Drew did with Bridgette...Ugh, I hate this show!"

"We've _all _been there, man.." Duncan put a hand on Zillum's shoulder, feeling his pain.

"9!" Chris said after Gwen finished her dance. "Great ass, but tits are too small!"

Gwen stalked off, fuming before putting her clothes back on. Afterwards, Kitana put on a near flawless pole dancing technique as she twirled her fans through the air on certain spins.

It caught the attention of basically _every _man of the room, especially Liu Kang, whose eyes were widened in a trance like state. Kung Lao elbowed him, causing Liu Kang to snap out of it.

Kung Lao proceeded to laugh in amusement, much to Liu Kang's embarrassment.

Kitana soon finished, catching her two fans mid air, before giving a wink to the judges.

"10 out of 10!" Chef chuckled evilly. "I'd tap that..."

Liu Kang's fists now burned with the Flameof the Shaolin, before Kung Lao muttered with crossed arms,

"Oh boy.. This again.."

*BEEEEEPPPP!*

The screen cut to Chef being loaded into an ambulance. "Okay, Chef's in stable condition. Let's review how the rest of the pole dances went."

Mr. Krabs definitely earned some money for his car wash dance, while Julien and Squidward were promptly given 0s by the judges unanimousy. Now, it seemed the tie breaker was about to come…

"This..." Blue began. "I don't even know..."

DJ Joker started the music, and Scorpion teleported into view, the entire crowd watching closely at what would happen here..

Scorpion merely sighed in annoyance, before he backflipped onto the stripper pole, performing a flawless spin on it, showing off the muscular parts of his body well.

"Woah.." Kung Lao stated. "Who knew the spectre knew his way around a pole?"

Kyle's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and to be honest, for the first time in this challenge, he was turned on…

To finish it off, Scorpion used his spear to pull in Kyle towards him, mainly because that was the first one he saw. He then spun once more on the pole, as Kyle sat there, speechless.

"Get over here.." Scorpion seductively spoke at the end, rolling his eyes and finishing his performance.

Kyle promptly fainted.

"That.. just made me question my entire sexuality for a second.." Johnny Cage said, causing everyone else to look at him.

"What?" Johnny Cage asked in confusion. "_What_!?"

Jack crossed his arms, obviously jealous. Carandial noticed this. "It seems you now have competition..." He chuckled.

"Bite me!" Jack muttered.

"Well...it's a fifteen from me..." Chris began. "Now we get to the _real _shit!" He declared.

"Wait..." Vader began. "_Worse _than _that?!_"

"Yup, now we move on to...handjobs!"

Drew simply facepalmed, lying down on the ground while questioning his entire existence.

"LeShawna, you'll have the honor of giving Dale a handy!"

"Yay!" Dale yelled in excitement, before raising his eyebrows at LeShawna seductively.

LeShawna glared daggers at Chris. "McLean, when this is over..." She muttered. She walked over to Dale, and closed her eyes as he sat down on the chair and pulled something out of his pocket.

It was a.. small rag.

"I like to stick this in my mouth so I don't scream that loud. Nancy says I-" Dale began, before Leshawna grabbed his dick, and squeezed as hard as she could, her eyes burning.

"Oh! Oh, God.." Dale widened his eyes. "You might wanna lube that up a bit- AGHH!"

After...satisfying Dale, Leshawna stalked off. "I'm gonna take a shower..."

"Can I come with!?" Dale called out, before Leshawna tossed a rock at his face, knocking the skinny Texan down.

"And now...Heather," Chris said with a grin. "Show what those hands can do! Your lucky guy is going to be Harold!"

"Booyah!" Harold pumped his fist, as Heather looked on in angered horror.

"NO! Nope! Nuh uh! No way! Not doing it.." Heather rejected, looking the other way with her arms crossed.

"Well..." Chris chuckled. "You _can _do that..."

"Good.." Heather said with her eyes closed. "Glad we see eye to eye.."

"As long as you make sure it's okay with Onaga..."

Heather looked at the Dragon King, as he began to breath a small amount of fire from his mouth, causing Heather to give in.

"UGH! Fine!" Heather yelled, before shoving Harold into the chair. "Take off your pants!"

"Uh, but my condom-" Harold began.

"DO IT!" Heather yelled, as Harold flinched, before complying,

"Yes, ma'am!"

Harold then pulled his pants down, revealing his 2 inch dick. Heather cringed at the sight of something so microscopic, before Duncan burst out laughing.

"You call _that _a- Nah, y'know what.. It speaks for itself.." Duncan insulted as he laughed.

Heather took a deep breath, everyone in the room not being able to watch except for Harold, as well as Chris and co.

However, just as soon as Heather's hand made the _slightest _contact with Harold's dick-

"AGHHHH!" Harold screamed as he came, nearly hitting Heather.

Heather screamed as she ran away, much akin to Bridgette with Randy, leaving Harold to hang his head down in slight shame.

"Well.. I lasted longer than I _thought_.." Harold said to himself, trying to boost his own confidence.

"Okay, it looks like the Bass score a point..." Chris said matter a factly, before continuing. "And for our _final_ challenge!"

"FINALLY!" Luke exclaimed.

"Blowjobs. Shao Kahn..." Chris said with a grin to Shao Kahn.

"Finally.." Shao Kahn spoke. "Which lucky woman gets to _satisfy _the Emperor?.." .

"Rexy." Chris said with a wide grin.

Dead. Fucking. Silence.

"How...wait..." Lee, who had been silent, praying for God to deliver him from this nightmare, this whole time began. "How would that even _work?!_"

"Don't care.. As long as it's suitable.." Shao Kahn said, sitting in his own personalized throne chair.

Rexy growled, and stepped forward, looking at Shao Kahn with a disgusted expression. She was over fifteen feet tall, with a six foot skull _alone_. Her teeth were at least _half _the size of Shao Kahn's dick...This would...I don't even know how to write this particular moment…

Shao Kahn revealed his 10 inch dick, before patting his lap with a sadistic smirk.

"Come on.. The Emperor doesn't like to _wait_.. Win our team the challenge."

Rexy narrowed her eyes, opened her mouth, and somehow managed to accomplish the deed…

However, having had enough of this, Rexy _bit _down full force!

"Ouch.." Liu Kang even had to cringe at that.

"AGHH!" Shao Kahn screamed, before he punched Rexy off of him, slumping to the ground and grabbing at his dick. "YOU FEEBLE MINDED REPTILE! I will have your _head_!"

"_Technically_," Luke began. "You already _did!_"

"_You _shall be next!" Shao Kahn warned, before groaning in agony over his bleeding cock.

Onaga had to even cringe, though he knew deep down that Shao Kahn deserved it. Basically every man in the room had to feel their dick after that, thankful it was still intact.

"And now...Johnny Cage..." Chris began, shuddering a bit.

"Oh yeah!" Johnny Cage exclaimed. "Johnny _Cage_, babay! What fine piece of ass gets to get a piece of _this_!?" He cockily asked, motioning towards his junk.

"Kyle Broflovski." Chris said simply.

Kyle's eyes widened, and he looked at Cage, resisting the urge to gag…

"Wait.. _what_!?" Johnny Cage yelled. "No! That's gay, bro! I thought we handsome actors had to stick _together_!" Johnny Cage pleaded to Chris.

"Yup, but you gotta admit, he's definitely on the feminine side.." Chris pointed out.

"A dude's still a _dude_.." Johnny Cage crossed his arms. "I used to think you were cool, man.. Now come _on_.. Let someone like.. I dunno, the surfer or the goth chick get at it! Hell, I'll even take the _dinosaur_! Just give me a _chick_, bro!"

"Um..." Chris said, as if considering it. "No."

Jack began to march up to Chris in abject rage, before Kyle placed a hand on his shoulder. Jack looked ready to protest, but sighed as Kyle walked over, pulling his ushanka down to cover his face.

Johnny Cage covered his face, wanting to legitimately _kill _Chris now, much like everybody else. However, not wanting to be the reason his team lost, he sucked it up, and sat in the chair while pulling his pants down.

"Me and my manager are going to have a _serious _talk after this shit.." Johnny Cage said.

Kyle looked kept his ushanka down, and performed the deed. However, he seemed to actually do a pretty good job...for a guy…

Johnny Cage eventually climaxed, much to his disappointment. As soon as they were done, Johnny pulled up his pants and pointed at Kyle's face, seriously saying,

"We will never bring this up.. _ever_! Comprende?"

"Agreed..." Kyle whimpered, spitting out some cum…

"Okay! You said that was the final challenge..." Zillum growled. "Are we _done?!_"

"Yes.." Scorpion spoke for Chris. "We _are_!"

"Actually..." Chris began with a grin.

"You are not _serious_!" Sub-Zero yelled at Chris, pulling out his sharp Kori Blade, made of ice. "Unlike the rest of them, I actually _will _kill you!"

"For all the marbles," Chris said, completely ignoring Sub-Zero, "Dale and Hank, Drew and Heather, and Sub-Zero and Kyle will go all the way." He said simply.

There was dead silence…

"BWAHHHH!" Hank Hill screamed at the top of his lungs, just at the mere _thought _of that.

"Eww!" Dale cringed. "Not _Hank_! What about LeShawna!?"

"Nope," Chris said. "All three go through with it, or Onaga gets to merge the Realms." He said simply.

"Don't give a fuck!" Hank uncharacteristically dropped the F-bomb, before stalking towards the door. "Before the 'realms' are merged, I'm gonna have me a _beer_!"

"Same!" Dale said, walking with Hank.

"Well, if you don't." Chris began. "We'll remove all propane from the island and give the government your location."

"BWAHH!" Both Hank and Dale screamed simultaneously.

Hank then took a deep breath, before looking at Dale.

"Uh.. Hank? What are you doing?.." Dale asked in concern.

Hank then pushed Dale to the ground, pulling his pants down.

"AH! Hank, no-"

"FOR PROPANE!" Hank yelled, before doing the inevitable..

While Hank and Dale were on life support, Chris turned to Heather and Drew. "Your turn..." He said seductively.

"Nope! No _fucking _way!" Drew scowled at Chris.

"Hmm, well.." Heather looked Drew up and down. "Could be _worse_.."

"Exactly." Chris said. "Would be a shame if Bridgette had to pay for your refusal..." Chris said, pointing to Onaga.

"Oh goddammit!" Drew exclaimed, before looking at Heather. "Heather, take your clothes off."

"Ooh, so _demanding_.." Heather seductively said. "I _like _it.."

Drew simply rolled his eyes, before saying,

"I'm sorry, Bridgette.."

What followed was.. 20 minutes of Heather and Drew having.. _really _intimate contact. Heather came twice, before Drew finished after those 20 minutes..

Drew put his pants back on, feeling _really _guilty about what he had just done.. Bridgette, meanwhile, had a very blank expression. Though she knew deep down that he had no choice.

Erissare of all people noticed this, and placed a hand on Bridgette's shoulder. She had no jokes for this one...

"Catch me by the campfire.." Heather said to Drew, before blowing him a kiss, which caused him to shudder.

At least that was finally _over_!

"Wow..." Chris muttered, cleaning the stain on his pants with a towel. "I have to say.."

"You could make some serious money! The only one I can think of who is _that _good is your's truly!"

"_Fuck_!" Drew yelled in his face, giving him the bird. "_You_.."

"Thanks, Chris!" Heather yelled in the distance.

"And now...Sub-Zero, time to make the redhead moan like Heather..." Chris said, looking at Sub-Zero now.

Jack was trembling, and had to be held back by Zillum, Duncan, _and _Owen Grady!

Sub-Zero simply glared daggers at Chris, before he pulled out his 8 inch icicle and froze it with his ice ability. It was his own form of protection, pretty much.

"This act _disgusts _me.." Sub-Zero narrowed his eyes, awaiting the inevitable.

Kyle closed his eyes, and laid down. "Please be gentle..." He begged.

"Shut up.." Sub-Zero said, before just shoving it in, wanting to get it over with as quick as possible.

Suffice to say, Kyle did scream like Heather, though not out of pleasure, but more just humiliation and pain.

Ultimately, Sub-Zero finished, and immediately after, Kyle pulled his pants back on and ran off in the other direction.

"Well, that was pleasureless, disgusting, as _well _as pointless.." Sub-Zero muttered, putting his pants back on as well.

Chris clapped. "Thanks for the show!" He declared. "Gophers, I'll see you at the campfire tonight!"

"WHAT?!" The Gophers all yelled.

"You _can't _be serious!" Caesarius cried.

"Yup. Pick your favorite loser, and we'll send them home! Bass, you guys get to spend the night in the cabins, just like usual! Fun, right?!"

"Fuck. You." Jack spat.

"Ooh.." Chef chuckled evilly. "Hear that, Chris? Mr. Jack says he wants to _fuck _you.. I think we got a _volunteer_.."

Jack threw his hands up in defeat, and stalked off, intent on finding Kyle. Drew did the same when he noticed that Bridgette was now gone.. He just hoped that she wasn't heartbroken over what he had done..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kyle sat by the lake, crying softly. He felt utterly _humiliated_. And worst of all, his first time was _not _with someone he loved! He had to give that asshole Johnny Cage a blowjob _and _give up his body to Sub-Zero. He didn't _hate _him, but still, he wasn't nearly attracted to him, and the idea of having to do this for so-called 'ratings' was just…

"Kyle?"

Kyle froze when he heard Jack's voice.

He turned, and saw Jack looking at him with concern. "Ky'?"

"I'm sorry Jack!" Kyle whimpered. "I'm sorry for-"

Jack walked up to him and pulled him into a hug. "It's not your fault..."

Kyle was about to protest, but feeling Jack's hand slowly and gently run up and down his back began to soothe him. He went silent, only leaning against Jack's chest as he sat on his boyfriend's lap.

"If they do something like that again, I'm killing them..." Jack growled.

"But-"

"No. You're worth it." Jack replied, kissing Kyle on the forehead.

Kyle sighed.

"I love you..." Jack whispered.

Kyle's eyes widened, and he looked down with a blank expression.

"Kyle?"

The redhead's only response was to push Jack onto his. Kyle straddled Jack's lap, and bent down to kiss his boyfriend…

"Kyle.." Jack said nervously. Kyle smiled a bit.

"I _want _to..." Kyle clarified softly.

Jack took a deep breath, before he kissed Kyle again...

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Bridgette was seated at the campfire prematurely, streams of tears having run down her face from crying over what she had seen..

Drew found her after about a half hour of searching, and once he did, he rushed in her direction, sitting beside her.

"Bridge?.." Drew softly asked, catching Bridgette's attention. She slowly turned towards him, before she looked back at the campfire, not saying a word.

"Bridgette, I'm _sorry_.." Drew sighed in absolute guilt, his chest burning from the pain within. "I did not _want _to have sex with Heather! I was _forced_-"

"I _know_, Drew!" Bridgette yelled out, causing Drew to stop talking. Bridgette sniffled, before she softly repeated, "I _know_.."

"But, it's.. it's just.." Bridgette began to add, before she cut herself off.

"It's just _what_, Bridge?.." Drew softly asked. "Talk to me.."

"Did you _like _it?" Bridgette abruptly asked Drew, which caused him to widen his eyes.

"Wha- _no_! I-" Drew began to deny, before Bridgette yelled back at him,

"Tell me the _truth_, Drew! Does it look like I'm fucking _stupid_!?"

Drew went silent, looking down at the campfire in silence for a few seconds. Bridgette then sighed, having let her anger get the better of her.

"I.. I'm _sorry_, Drew.. It's just.. I don't like being lied to, and I hate Chris, and I hate these fucking _challenges _and-"

"Hey!" Drew cut her off as Bridgette began to break down in tears, before he began to hug her. "It's _okay_.."

Bridgette cried into his shoulder, before after a minute or two, they began to dry up the more she was comforted.

Looking up at Drew, Bridgette then asked with a sniffle,

"Do you think I can do better?"

Drew then widened his eyes, before he began to ask in shock,

"Wait _wha_-"

"Do you think _I _can do better than Heather at sex?" Bridgette asked Drew, which resulted in a stunned silence.

"Why.. Of- Of _course _you can-"

"Be _honest_, Drew-" Bridgette began, before Drew held her hands tight.

"Bridgette.." Drew seriously began. "_Yes_.. You _can_.. It shouldn't be a big _deal_, though. Because I'll still love you no matter _what_! Heather is just.. well.. _Heather_. It meant _nothing _to me.."

Bridgette looked into Drew's blue eyes with her green ones, before she gave a sigh of relief, leaning on his shoulder.

"I'm glad I have someone like you.."

Drew returned the embrace with just as much affection, before he replied,

"I am too.."

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"Campers, there twenty campers here, and only nineteen white balls of diabetes." Chris began. "The one who does not-"

"Get.. _on _with it!" Shao Kahn demanded, his cock in a cast. "Or I will beat you until you _die_! Merge of the realms or contracts be _damned_!"

Chris' eyes widened. "Scorpion," he began quickly.

Scorpion began to retrieve his marshmallow, before he realized his black panties were still on. He took them off, and proceeded to throw them in the campfire, before he took the marshmallow out of Chris' hand.

"Bridgette, Sub-Zero, Randy." Chris continued. "Gotta say, your performance was impressive, everyone..."

"Heh heh.. Thanks!" Randy excitedly took the marshmallow, as well as the compliment.

Sub-Zero merely glared _coldly _at Chris, before snatching both marshmallows from his hand and giving the other to Bridgette, sparing her the up close experience with him.

"Thanks.." Bridgette sighed in relief.

"Hank, Lee, Julien."

"So you all made the right decision!" Julien laughed as he got his marshmallow.

"Shao Kahn." Chris added.

Shao Kahn used his sorcery to bring the marshmallow towards him, not even having to get up from his seat. His dick was too sore, anyhow..

Soon, only two were left. However, to everyone's surprise, it was Harold and _Drew!_

"Aw, come _on_!" Harold complained. "You guys voted me off because I didn't _last _that long, _didn't _you? Well I tried my _best_!"

"Harold." Chris said simply.

"WHAT!?" Everyone exclaimed, causing Drew to look on with a confused, shocked, and hurt eyes.

"_No_.." Bridgette whined, feeling absolutely _devastated _in that moment. Without Drew.. How would she even _survive _the rest of this shitty summer!?

"Well.. Was good sex, at least.." Heather shrugged, not caring that much.

"You _can't _be serious!" Caesarius protested. "What is the _meaning _of this?!"

"Yeah!" Luke added. "Why?! Drew has pulled his weight every challenge! Harold is just dead weight!"

Harold gasped, before Drew shook his head.

"Come on.. Harold may not be the most skilled, but he's definitely a teammate.. I got voted off, and as much as that sucks.. I just gotta accept it."

Drew stood up, holding Bridgette's hand as she began to shed tears.

"Aw, don't _cry_.." Drew pleaded. "You can _do _this.." He encouraged her with a grin.

"I'll.. I'll _miss _you!" Bridgette told him tearfully, before Drew locked her into a passionate kiss.

When the two pulled away, Drew replied with a smile,

"I'll miss you too.. I love you."

"I love you too.." Bridgette sniffled, as Drew was ushered away by a couple interns, towards the Dock Of Shame..

Lee saluted sadly, while Blue lowered her head in sadness. Luke crossed his arms, frustrated and angry. Vader clenched his fists in anger. Rexy looked in anger towards Chris.

"This was _your _doing!"

Chris tried to stifle a laugh, as if he was amused about something in particular.

"Goodbye peasant riff-raff." Julien chuckled.

"You're _next_, Julien!" Shao Kahn of all people yelled. "I hated the boy, but at least he was _tolerable _and gave this team _results_! Unlike _you_.."

Julien's eyes widened at the insult, and he began to run off crying.

"Serves him right..." Tyromairon commented.

"G'night.." Chris told the campers as he began to stalk off in laughter. A very.. _strange _and suspicious laughter..


	9. 9, Dept of Motor Versus

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island," Chris began, standing on a dock. "Just kidding!" He laughed. "Due to a power outage, we couldn't broadcast the episode! It sucks, because it was a _spicy _one!"

He shrugged. "Anyway, the two teams will have to face their harshest test yet..."

He shuddered. "The dreaded DMV!"

"Will any campers stay sane? Will someone finally shut Julien up? And could my hair possibly get any more _perfect_? Find out here, on the most shocking episode yet, of,"

"Total!"

"Drama!"

"Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

Suffice to say, breakfast was fairly quiet. It seemed the memories of the previous day were fresh in everyone's minds.

Zillum was not in the mood to eat. He looked to Scorpion, and made a signal that pretty much had become their way of 'calling' for an alliance meeting.

Scorpion and Sub-Zero nodded, before they left their bowl of slop on the table. Not that they ate it anyways..

Duncan got up, followed by Jack, who was followed by Kyle, as the group headed outside to discuss the situation.

"Whatcha got for us today, Zillum?" Duncan asked curiously.

Sub-Zero couldn't help but feel awkward.. Especially when Kyle was standing _right _there, considering what had to be done yesterday.

Scorpion in _general_ was just pissed.. More so than usual. Even though he had found a natural talent at pole dancing, it wasn't one he planned on adopting _anytime _soon..

"So you say Drew was 'voted' off?" Zillum asked the two Gopher members. "It's obvious they're toying with us. I propose a plan of revenge..."

"What do you have in mind?" Jack asked.

"Simple," Zillum explained. "I have located Chris' cabin. I say we put hair remover in his gel."

"Give it to me.." Scorpion extended his hand. "Reveal to me the location, and I shall teleport there.. The transaction should take no longer than 1 minute."

Zillum held out the bottle. "Far side of camp, on the 'production area'...The one they forbid us from going to..."

"Please.." Scorpion rolled his eyes, scoffing at him being 'forbidden' from anywhere. Scorpion teleported away, and less than a minute later, sude enough, he was back. "It is done.."

As Scorpion returned, the Alliance was temporarily caught off guard when the Joker and…

"Wait..." Kyle piped up. "I thought Drew got voted off!"

"He.." Sub-Zero began with a cocked brow. "_was_.."

Zillum pointed behind the two ninjas.

"Joker...what is the meaning of this?" Jack asked with narrowed eyes. He was happy for Drew's return, but…

"Hasn't Chris _told _you by now!? Hoo hoo!" Joker laughed, before shrugging. "Oh well.. I've already informed ol' _Drew _here.. What's a few more? Yesterday's episode wasn't even aired.. It was a _joke_.."

Dead silence…

"You mean..." Jack began, trembling in rage.

"That we went through that..." Zillum snarled, while Duncan held his pocket knife to Joker's throat.

"for _nothing_!?" Duncan finished for Zillum.

The Joker merely kept smiling, before he said,

"Stabbing the messenger, eh? _Uncalled _for.." He then squirted some sort of liquid in Duncan's eyes from his shirt flower, which caused Duncan to scream and slump towards the ground.

"What did you _do _to him!?" Sub-Zero yelled.

Joker pointed to his flower, before answering,

"Non-lethal acid.. Those shabby producers wouldn't let me bring _real _acid, so this'll have to do.."

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Chris and Chef had just walked in, before the sound of eight screams of rage and anger shook the entire island, causing everyone in the cafeteria to jump.

"What...was that?" Luke asked Bridgette, rubbing his ears.

Their question was answered the Joker was thrown through the door to Chris and Chef's feet. It looked like someone had literally _thrown _him a good fifty feet.

"Kids are pissed.." Joker informed them with a laugh, before standing up and dusting himself off, walking up to Chris with anger. "I'll be in the _trailer_.. If they touch me again, I'm bringing my AK-47.."

Chris' eyes widened. "Um...that won't be necessary."

At that moment, the door swung open again, cracking a bit as Zillum stomped in, followed by an equally enraged Jack, Duncan, whose eyes were red from the acid, Sub-Zero, a flaming Scorpion, and-

Someone else stomped towards them, causing them to hesitate _real _quick.. Onaga looked down upon them with a growl, before he threatened,

"Do we have a _problem_, comrades!?.."

Zillum narrowed his eyes, but shook his head. "No...not at _all_..."

"Yeah, uh.. I didn't say nothin'." Duncan sniffled, rubbing his burning eyes.

"We just want to eat our.." Sub-Zero began, looking at the contents in the bowl, before he hesitantly continued, "whatever _that _is, in peace.. We mean no trouble, warlord.."

Onaga glared down at them, before feeling satisfied enough, turning around to leave.

As he did so, a final person entered the cafeteria.

"_Drew_!?" Bridgette exclaimed with widened eyes, beginning to run up to him.

"Heh.. Miss me?" Drew asked her, as Bridgette embraced him, full of affection.

"No fucking _way_.." Heather commented, rolling her eyes. "Whatever.. Can't say I'm surprised."

"How did you get back?" Luke asked.

"The boat." Drew sarcastically joked with Luke with a smirk, as he usually did with everyone.

Everyone laughed at that, before Jack looked at Chris. "Will you tell them? Or should _I?_" He asked the host coldly.

"What does he mean?" Carandial asked to no-one in particular, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"Chris never _released _yesterday's episode! He just filmed it for _nothing_!" Duncan yelled out as he pointed at Chris, revealing it to everyone.

All eyes turned to Chris, who…

Shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah...I lied...What's the big deal?" He asked with a slight grin.

Shao Kahn proceeded to punch Chris in the face, knocking him all the way back against the wall, the Canadian show host sliding down the wall.

Onaga stomped up to Shao Kahn, ready to fight his longtime rival, before everyone had to hold them both back.

"Hey...it took me two hours to get this hair right!" Chris complained as he got up.

"Not for long..." Kyle whispered to Duncan, taking satisfaction in that fact at least.

Even Scorpion couldn't help but feel amused at that fact.. The fact that he couldn't just _kill _this man truly burdened him.. But he supposed causing Chris to lose one of the only things he loved was the next best _thing_..

"The challenge today is probably going to be the _toughest _one yet..." Chris chuckled, running a hand through his hair, not noticing a piece falling off.

"Tougher than the shit we've already dealt with?" Vader asked.

"Yes. It's simple, you spend a day at the DMV." Chris replied simply.

"...What?" Owen Grady asked. "You're..._serious_?"

"Y'know guys, I know I haven't really said it before, but I'm definitely serious when I say.. This may very well be the death of me.." Johnny Cage said.

"Then let's do this!" Kyle declared excitedly.

"Suck my dick.." Johnny Cage said. "Oh _wait_.." He then chuckled deviously.

"Shut the fuck up..." Kyle muttered. He got up to punch Johnny Cage, but groaned in pain, having to sit back down. It seemed getting fucked twice yesterday left him with a sore behind…

Duncan stifled a laugh, before asking Kyle,

"You okay there, buddy?"

"Sorry.." Sub-Zero said with a shrug.

"It's fine..." Kyle sighed. Zillum looked at Jack with a slight, knowing smirk.

Jack groaned, and was about to eat more of the slop, but it moved a bit.

Jack widened his eyes, and pushed the plate away, no longer hungry.

Meanwhile, on the Gopher Table, Blue decided to ask her friends, "Is it just me, or is Chris getting more sadistic by the day?"

"He _is_.." Drew agreed with a nod. "Y'know he forced me to sleep in the _Boathouse _last night!? I could hear some sort of weird _howling _in there.."

"You sure it wasn't Heather and Onaga?" Lee asked with a chuckle, catching everyone off guard. It seemed the normally reserved general was starting to grow a bit more humorous.

"Don't give them any ideas.." Drew smirked at Lee. "And.. don't give me PTSD from.. _yesterday_." Drew then shuddered at the thought.

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"_How _did they get an entire DMV building out here in one _day?_" Gwen asked.

"Money." Johnny Cage answered. "Trust me.. Apparently the dude makes 10 mil. _every _year.. One of my movie producers named Marty told me that-"

"Fascinating..." Patrick said sarcastically. "Almost as fascinating as Wumbology..." He said, his eyebrows lowered dramatically.

"Oh, thanks pal, I- What?" Johnny Cage then asked, not knowing what the fuck Patrick was talking about.

"Come on!" Patrick said matter a factly. "I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, me, Wumbo! Wumbo, wumboing-"

"I wonder if a fall from that tree will be enough to kill me..." Squidward sighed.

"Mah God! Is he _still _talking!?" Hank Hill complained, referring to Patrick.

Dale stood by Hank, apparently having no memory of what happened yesterday, since his memory was supposedly 'wiped by aliens'.

"Wumbology? The study of Wumbo! It's first grade Cohnny Jage!"

"It's _Johnny _Ca- Y'know what? Nevermind.. I only have time for people that _matter_.." Johnny Cage responded.

"So you don't have time for yourself, then?" Skipper asked.

"Oh, hahahaha.. _How _original.. Not like I saw _that _coming or anything. Do yourself a favor, Sarge, and lay off the sardines.." Johnny Cage retorted.

"I'll lay off the sardines when you learn how to act." Skipper replied.

"$500 million a movie speaks for _itself_.." Johnny Cage lowered his sunglasses and winked at Skipper, laughing knowingly to himself.

"You're just as annoying as ringtail..." Skipper groaned.

At that moment, there was a horrified, girly scream nearby.

"What.. the hell was _that_?" Drew asked aloud, wide eyed.

"PUT ME DOWN, CHEF!" Chris yelled as Chef walked out with a grin. Chris was carried on his shoulder, banging his fists on Chef's back while thrashing about.

"Listen up you little cockroaches!" Chef thundered. "You will get in line, you will answer the questions, and you get to either go home and fuck or eat or do whatever the fuck you want! I don't care! But if you answer the question wrong, or act like a _sissy_, you get to go to the back of the line!"

"PUT ME DOWN, CHEF!" Chris commanded.

"Oh, Chefy old kid," Joker began with a chuckle. "Why don't you do what ol' Chris _says_.." He finished with a wink and a laugh, hinting at what he wanted Chef to do.

"Gladly, brotha!" Chef chuckled, dropping Chris on his ass. He sat up, revealing…

He had lost most of his hair…

"HAHAHAHAHA!" The entire camp laughed at Chris, Joker, Chef, and even Onaga included.

"Chris is _bald_!" Duncan exclaimed through his laughter, pulling out his cell phone to snap a picture. He didn't use it often, but this was just _too _good to pass up!

Zillum high fived Scorpion.

"Mission success..." Zillum chuckled.

"Serves him _right_.." Scorpion added.

"That was _cold_, Hanzo.." Sub-Zero told Scorpion.

"Kuai, stop the atrocious ice puns.. They make me realize why we used to be rivals.." Scorpion responded.

"Sorry." Sub-Zero said.

"He's just as bad as Shao Kahn or the Dragon King, honestly.." Liu Kang spoke to Kung Lao and Kitana. "Rightfully deserved."

"You said it.." Kitana agreed.

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The line had formed, but to the shock and horror of the campers, there were five hundred people already inside!

"You.. _cannot _be serious!" Squidward groaned.

"Line order is Jack and Kyle for the babies, and Drew and Bridgette for the guppies..." Chef ordered, before listing off the rest of the campers, with Squidward and Hank being in the very back.

"Boy, I tell ya h'wat.." Hank Hill began. "This is _asinine_!"

"Tell me about it.." Squidward narrowed his eyes in a visibly unamused manner. "Well.. could be worse. I _could _be next to Mr. Krabs or Patrick in line.."

"Hey, Squidward!" Patrick waved, apparently having _already _gotten his question wrong!

"Why do I _even _bother?.." Squidward asked himself.

That is when both teams realized that Onaga was walking right to the front of his line.. And the officials were _allowing _it!

"The _hell_!?" Drew asked with widened eyes, already having not fully accepting his place in line.

"Okay, Onaga.." Joker began with a smile. "What's 2 plus _2_?.."

"WHAT?!" Blue yelled in anger. "_That's _the question?!"

"4." Onaga answered, before Joker shook the Dragon King's hand.

"Congratulations! Here's the keys to your _new _car! Cabin.. Whatever." The Joker shrugged.

"You _do _know that DMV's don't sell cars, correct?" Drew said with an unamused expression.

"Does _somebody _want to go to the back of the line?" Joker threatened, prompting Drew to shake his head.

"No.."

"Then shut up.."

The hours continued to pass, until Jack got to the front of the line. Bridgette was at the front on the Gopher's side.

"What is your name, you little baby?" Chef yelled at Bridgette.

"Um.. Bridgette?" Bridgette responded.

"What is your quest, Bridgette?"

"Wait.. what?" Bridgette asked in confusion.

"BACK TO THE LINE YOU LITTLE BABY!" Chef yelled.

Bridgette merely sighed, accepting her fate.

Drew now stepped up, feeling bad to see Bridgette fail.

"WHAT IS YOUR NAME YOU LITTLE BABY?"

"Drew."

Chef cleared his throat, before he began to read the question off of a book,

"If A and B are the lengths of the semi-major and semi-minor axes of an ellipse, respectively, what is the area enclosed by the locus of the centroids of equilateral triangles inscribed in said ellipse?"

Chef then closed the book, confident Drew had gotten all of that.

"Uh.." Drew said, his eyes widened and mouth agape. "69?"

Chef stared directly into Drew's eyes, before he said,

"You got _lucky_, maggot.."

"Wait, _really_?" Drew smiled.

"NO!" Chef yelled in his face, causing Drew to flinch. "Back of the _line_, pervert!"

Meanwhile, Jack walked up to Joker.

"Ooh, Jacky boy.." The Joker laughed. "And what can I interest you in today? License renewal? New plates? Trying to get some petty _fee _removed off of your bill?"

"License renewal." Jack said simply.

"Well, too bad.." Joker began, faking typing on a computer that wasn't even turned on after using his rolling chair to roll over there. "Because all services our down except our questions department.. If you need further assistance, I recommend to go to that line _there_.." The Joker said, pointing to the long ass line that Chef was in charge of.

"Very funny..." Jack muttered.

Joker continued to look at Jack, utmost seriousness on his face.

"What?"

"I'm on break.." Joker said, putting a 'gone for lunch' sign up to make his point clear to Jack. "Ta ta!" Joker waved, before he left his post.

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"WHAT DO YOU _MEAN _'WHAT IS THE CAPITAL OF THE PARTHIAN EMPIRE?!' I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE PARTHIAN EMPIRE IS!" Skipper ranted as he was dragged to the back of the line again.

Bridgette finally made it to the front again for like.. the fifth time. Hopefully the question she got _this _time would be easier..

"What is your name, you little baby?"

"...Bridgette…" Bridgette said, used to this by now.

"What is your quest?"

"For the _last _time!" Bridgette complained. "I _don't _know what you mean by that! Can I at least get a _hint_!?"

"Fine..." Chef muttered.

"Little baby does know her movies... What is the airspeed velocity of a European Swallow?"

"24 miles per hour.." Bridgette answered.

Chef's eyes widened. "Finally...You can go now..." He muttered.

Bridgette began to walk away, exhausted. Even though surfing was her forte, she was very knowledgeable in many other areas as well..

Drew walked to the front of the line once more, hoping he could just get this right and join Bridgette.

"Drew.." Drew answered before Chef could even ask him the inevitable question of 'what's your name?'.

"What is your quest?"

"Barney the Dinosaur's _testicles_.. I don't know why you keep _asking _me that.." Drew said with tried eyes.

"CONGRATULATIONS! That's the right answer! Now, for the final question."

"You _can't _be serious.." Drew muttered.

"What is the scientific name of the human species?"

"Homo Sapien.." Drew answered. "Easy."

"Well! You got all three questions right! You can now go home!"

"Thank _fuck_.." Drew sighed in relief, before immediately starting to exit this accursed 'DMV'..

"BUT!" Chef yelled.

"But _what_!?" Drew asked, clearly disappointed Chef was still talking to him.

"You didn't give me time to _ask _the first question, thus nullifying your otherwise correct answer. BACK TO THE LINE!"

Drew stood frozen for a few seconds, before he fell to the ground, fainting at the thought of standing in that long ass line _again_!

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"What are the account names of the writers of this story?" Chef asked Shao Kahn.

"You test my _patience_, brewer of insufficient food!" Shao Kahn insulted. "What 'story' are you even _talking _about!?"

"BACK TO THE LINE YOU LITTLE BABY!"

"I'll show _you _little!" Shao Kahn began to lunge at Chef, before he was run into by Mr. Krabs, who was excited about his first opportunity in line.

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" Mr. Krabs then sniffed the air. "Uh.. Where's the money? Is that the prize for waitin' in this here line?"

"Your question is, give me a dollar!"

"NEVER!" Mr. Krabs defended his dollar, before he started making out with it.

"BACK TO THE LINE! AND EVERY TIME YOU REFUSE, YOU LOSE A DOLLAR!"

The dollar burst into flames before Mr. Krabs' eyes!

"AHHH!" Mr. Krabs shouted in agony, the sight of money burning piercing his very _soul_..

As he was sent to the back of the line, Owen Grady walked up, where Chef asked him,

"What _is_, my favorite video game character?"

"Link from the Legend of Zelda games?" Owen sighed.

"Legend of What-a!?" Chef yelled at the Raptor Trainer, before pointing to the back of the line. "Back of the _line _for you, pretty boy!"

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Squidward got to the front of the line finally. "What is art?" Chef asked.

"My 'Bold And Brash' painting for one.." Squidward answered with a humorous chuckle. "But of _course_, besides it being an abstract of the mind, art is-"

"GIVE ME THAT!" Chef yelled, grabbing 'Bold and Brash', using it as a tissue to blow his nose. "Back of the line you mediocre clarinet player!"

"'Mediocre'?.." Squidward asked with a voice crack, feeling slightly hurt by such a statement.

Soon after, Blue got the front of the line.

"What's my favorite _lullaby_, before I go to _sleep_?" Chef asked.

Blue thought for a moment, before she began to sing 'My Lullaby' from Lion King 2.

Chef covered his ears, before he said,

"Correct; but.. _ugh_! God awful singing! Makin' my _ears _hurt! Back of the line!"

Blue screeched in rage, before stalking back to the line, before Scorpion got to the front of the line.

"What is the most common species of the order rodentia native to this particular locale?" Chef asked, with a smirk.

Scorpion was smarter than that, though. He wasn't about to give into Chef's game.

"Squirrels.." Scorpion simply answered.

"True, but what _species_? Scientific name!"

"Sciuridae." Scorpion answered once again.

"Ugh _fine_! Get out of here before I change my mind! Ruined the fun!"

Scorpion obliged, and peaced the fuck out of that DMV quicker than he could decapitate a squirrel.. Which was pretty fast.

After another two hours, Jack got to the front of the line. Chef was on the brink of exhaustion by now.

"Attention little babies! I am tired of listening to your dumbass answers! So if pretty boy here can answer this question, you all can go home!"

"What, is the name of the last class of Battleships constructed by the United States Navy, and name all of the ships, what wars they served in, and where two of them are now."

"What…?" Kyle asked, stunned by the sheer specificity of the question, if it could even be called that?

Everyone looked to Jack. The silence was deafening.

"If you don't know-"

"The last class of Battleships constructed by the United States Navy was the _Iowa_-class, of which there were four completed and six planned, the completed ones being the _Iowa, New Jersey, Missouri,_ and _Wisconsin_. They served off an on through to Desert Storm, where they were finally retired. _Iowa _is a museum ship in California, _Missouri _is in Pearl Harbor, _Wisconsin _is in Virginia, and _New Jersey _in New Jersey."

Silence…

That was...a _specific _question, and even more specific answer...

Luke looked at Drew with an expression that said 'how the fuck did he know that?'.

"Wow.. How oddly convenient he gets a Battleship question." Drew commented. "About as easy as '2+2' to him.."

"Plot convenience..." Skipper shrugged.

Chef had a blank expression, before he muttered, "You got lucky..."

With that, he stood up and walked out. "You little babies are done for the day!"

He stopped.

"Oh yeah...need to make one team lose because 'rules'..."

He turned. "Owen! Spiky head!"

Tyromairon blinked, cocking a brow at the insult.

Owen, who was snoring while laying on top of a terrified Owen Grady on the ground suddenly woke up and said,

"_Huh? _Wha?.."

"Fat one! What is the best way to prepare macaroni and cheese!"

The Bass began to cheer, thinking that they had this one! How _could _you fuck that question up?

"Uh, _duh_!" Owen exclaimed, using Owen Grady as leverage to get up, which only crushed him more, before he answered, "With _cheese _on it! Obviously.."

Chef blinked. "I asked _how_! Spiky head! How do you prepare macaroni and cheese?"

Tyromairon sighed. "Put some water in a pan on the stove, add the cheese and macaroni, or microwave it. Simple."

"Oh, my sweet, sweet friend.." Owen shook his head with a smirk. "That is how _amateurs _prepare macaroni and cheese.. You see, my _grandpa _once taught me a special _secret _way of preparing macaroni and cheese that has been in the family for _many _years! See what you do is-"

Chef whistled loudly. "TOO LATE! BASS! YOU LITTLE MAGGOTS ARE OUT!"

"I am going to kill each and every one of these mortals.." Onaga facepalmed.

He turned. "Gophers, you suckers get to eat a five star dinner under the stars!"

"Excellent.." Shao Kahn laughed, making sure to look at Onaga so that he knew he had heard him.

Zillum's eyes widened. He turned to Jack, and Duncan. "The Dragon King goes _tonight_!"

Jack blinked, before he grinned, and nodded.

"Oh, and by the way!" Chef exclaimed. "First one who guessed a question right gets invincibility! I believe it was the Dragon King.. guy.."

"_What_!? Are you _serious_!?" Duncan yelled at Chef. "This is so _rigged_! Even more so than _usual_.."

"Yeah!" Carandial spoke up. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"The meaning of this is quite simple.." Chef spoke. "You were a _dummy_, you didn't answer first, so _ya lose_!"

"You're _welcome _to take it up with _him_!" The scary black dude added, pointing to Onaga with an evil grin.

Shao Kahn, just deciding to be a dick, shouted to Onaga,

"Oh, foolish _dragon_!"

Onaga roared at Shao Kahn, beginning to lose his patience. He began to stomp towards Shao Kahn, but with a smirk, the Emperor told him,

"Those foolish mortals plot against you.. I suggest you not be so blind next time.." Shao Kahn laughed as he nonchalantly exited the DMV, leaving Onaga standing in place.

Kyle giggled a bit at that, causing Jack to grab him, and cover his mouth to prevent the already angry Dragon King from hearing.

_ROAR!_

The entire counter of the DMV was smacked against the wall by an angered strike by Onaga, before he used his fist once again to smash through the wall to exit.

Just before he left, however, he gave Zillum, Jack, Kyle, and Duncan a sinister look. With that, Onaga exited the nearly leveled building, leaving everyone in silence.

Zillum sent Jack a look. "Control your sub, Anderson..." He said, though with a slight smirk.

"Oh, I just realized something.." Duncan smirked. "Your _sub_, got _Sub_-Zero's sub-"

"DON'T remind me!" Jack yelled, before rolling his eyes.

"Not my fault I'm irresistible.." Sub-Zero shrugged, before he too exited the building.

Kyle thought for a moment, before nodding a bit.

Jack blinked, before he smirked a bit.

Kyle yelped when Jack picked him up and walked off.

"I doubt he'll be able to sit down for a while..." Caesarius shrugged.

Johnny Cage, who had his sunglasses lowered as he watched the couple walk off, looked at Errisaire from the corner of his eye, before he said,

"Aw, fuck it.. How'd you like to get with a movie star?"

Dead silence yet again…

Erissare looked at him for a moment.

Even Tyromairon was a bit taken aback by that…

"As long as you're rough..." Erissare shrugged with a slight smirk.

Johnny Cage smirked as he put his sunglasses back on, before he said,

"That's how Johnny C do.."

Drew looked on with widened eyes, before he turned to King _Julien _of all people, and asked,

"What even _is _this show, anymore?.."

"A mindfuck?" King Julien shrugged, not even knowing what to think anymore as Johnny Cage and Erissare walked off.

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"So...if we can't vote off Onaga, who should we vote off?" Carandial asked Duncan and Owen Grady as they headed back to the cabin.

"I-ow! Think it's - ow! Obvious!" Owen Grady growled as he limped with the other two.

"You have.. the _worst _luck when it comes to fat dudes.." Duncan smirked. "But honestly, as much as you wanna see Tubby go.. He could be useful for the more '_daring' _challenges later down the line.."

"Agreed..." Carandial said as they reached the cabin. "Perhaps," He began as he opened the door, before his eyes widened when he saw what was happening inside. He immediately shut the door.

"Uh.." Duncan began. "I'm guessing.. cocky movie star on reptile action going on in there?"

Carandial was about to respond, before a loud moan from the _other _cabin filled the air.

"HARDER!" Erissare yelled.

Carandial shook his head.

"Oh, my mistake.. _That _cabin." Duncan rolled his eyes. "Jeez.. When am _I _gonna get lucky on this show?.."

Kitana, Leshawna, Gwen and Bridgette were heading towards the cafeteria, before Carandial elbowed Duncan. "Kitana seems to be available. You gotta admit...she has a _great _ass!"

"Yeah.." Duncan smirked. "She _does_.. But word from the grapevine is that Liu _Kang _has the hots for her.. I mean, I can _fight_.. but Jackie Chan would _kill _me.."

"Aww...you can take him!" Owen Grady joked.

The rest of the team was heading back to the cabin. Kung Lao walked up to the boy's side.

Carandial, Owen Grady and Duncan remembered too late what was going on in there.

Kung Lao opened the door to see.. something that made him widen his eyes and shut the door. He pulled off his sharp bladed hat, just looking at it for a second in thought.

Ultimately, though, he just cringed and walked away from the cabin, and towards the docks.

"What's...going on?" Skipper asked Duncan, dreading the answer.

"Well, JC's in there getting it on with Erissare," Duncan began, pointing at the cabin closest to them. "And in the _other_, ya got Jack and Kyle.. Pretty normal, I guess."

Homer blinked, before realizing he was by a pair of bushes. Without another word, he walked back, disappearing into the bushes.

"So; anyways.. Kitana's out." Duncan continued. "Heather is.. well, _Heather_. Bridgette's with Drew. Plus I have Party Boy still on my SnapChat.. Would be kind of an awkward conversation.."

Mr. Krabs grinned. "_I _would be open to a relationship if you had _money_..." He said, motioning to his car washing shorts and tank top.

"Um.." Duncan cringed as he backed up slightly. "Are you.. a _prostitute_, orr?.. Regardless, not interested!"

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"Campers, there are twenty campers here, and only nineteen fluffy pieces of diabetes in my hand! The camper who does not receive a marshmallow must _immediately _walk the Dock of Shame! Catch the Boat of Losers and leave! And you can't come back! Ever!" He declared.

He looked around. "Jack."

Jack caught the Marshmallow. "Onaga."

Onaga simply sat there with his arms crossed, not really caring about the marshmallow.

"Zillum, Owen Grady, Duncan." Chris explained.

Zillum grinned, and fistbumped Duncan.

"Kyle, Johnny Cage, Dale, Bill."

"_Woo_!" Bill exclaimed in excitement.

"Shut the fuck up, Bill.." Dale said, which immediately silenced his fat friend. Dale had a noticeable black eye, because this morning, after feeling 'something within him' after the Sex Challenge, he asked LeShawna if she wanted to 'get lucky'.

What proceeded was a punch to his face.

"Oh _yeah_!" The actor in question exclaimed confidently. "That's right! Who's the man?"

"You are..." Carandial sighed, hoping to just shut him up.

"Mmm..." Homer began. "Donut..."

His eyes widened when he realized he had just finished his donut. "I CAN'T GO ON!" He yelled, pulling out a butcher knife and aiming to stab himself! However, it mysteriously turned into a banana…

"Oh..." He whimpered.

"Homer." Chris said.

"WOOHOO!" Homer explained, eating his marshmallow.

Soon, there were only two left. Owen and Gwen.

Gwen looked on, a bit nervous, but still hopeful. After all, her boyfriend was the practical leader of the Bass(despite Onaga's claims to the contrary), so she should be safe.

Owen simply sat there in shock, though he was confident he would stay.. After all, everybody was probably wondering about his secret macaroni and cheese recipe, right?

"Gwen." Chris said simply.

Owen Grady sighed in relief. Maybe now he wouldn't have to worry about getting crushed...

"Who voted him off?" Duncan asked his small circle of friends in frustrated confusion. "There's like.. way better options for who we could vote off.. You think the whole team just didn't forgive Owen for that mac and cheese answer or something?"

Zillum shook his head, and motioned to Onaga, who was walking away with a smirk.

"Who do you think?" He asked with a sigh.

"W- Wha-" Duncan put his hands up in anger. "What are we gonna _do_, fellas!? Beat him _up_!? Doubt it.. Plus if he's in Chris and the Producers' pockets.. we can't _stop _him.."

Jack looked down. "As much as I hate to say this..." Jack sighed. "Perhaps we bring Shao Kahn and the new Gopher into this?"

Zillum was hesitant. He didn't want to create a _new _big threat either… But to be honest, Onaga _had _to go.

"I mean, the new guy seems cool.. But Shao _Kahn_!? Dude's just as much a psycho as Onaga.. I know we might need him, but.." Duncan sighed. "What's the plan? We gonna _jump _him?"

"What if...we bring Shao Kahn and Tyromairon into our alliance at the last minute? We convince Shao Kahn we'll ally with and serve him. Once Onaga's out of the picture, we will follow Shao Kahn's orders to the letter, and when the time comes to vote, we vote _him _off?" Zillum suggested.

"Oh, nice. _Cool_.." Duncan nodded, obviously leading up to a sarcastic response. "Just one problem.. Shao Kahn and Tyromairon's votes won't _matter _until the merge at least.. Which is too far away. You think Onaga will put up with us for much longer? I don't think so.. That's not to mention if Shao Kahn doesn't backstab _us_, first.."

Zillum took a deep breath. "For now...I doubt there's much we _can _do...Unless…" Zillum looked up. "Perhaps, when the merge _does _occur, the _entire _camp moves against Onaga?"

"Well, we still need to _survive _until the merge first.." Duncan reminded. "And what's to say Onaga doesn't eliminate you or me next episode?"

Jack looked down. "We must abide by the rules of the game. We win. We win as much as we can to minimize the chances of any of us getting voted off..."

"As much as I hate to say it.." Duncan shook his head. "We're gonna have to be _nice _to Onaga.. _Just _until the merge! It's the best chance we have.."

"Agreed..." Zillum sighed.


	10. 10, Wawanakwa Idol

Disclaimer: This episode of TDI contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by fanfiction characters. Do not try any of this stuff at home. Seriously, you could get _really _messed up.

"Last time on Total Drama Island," Chris began, standing on a dock. "The Campers were stuck at Wawanakwa's own DMV! It was _awesome_! The Bass seemed poised for victory, but Owen cost them the challenge by misinterpreting Chef's instructions. It was bye-bye Owen! Today, we welcome four more campers! The _last _new ones, I swear! Because the Producers thought they were too good to pass up!"

"Yup! The last was grueling, alright! And this time...let's just say those with bad singing voices are _screwed_! Who will sing their way to victory, and who will shatter some glass? Find out tonight on,"

"Total!"

"Drama!"

"Island!"

_*Theme Song Plays*_

"So..." Luke said, still disturbed by the sight of Johnny Cage and Erissare making out in the corner. "That happened..."

"Unfortunately.." Drew replied, trying not to look.

"Campers!" Chris greeted as he and Chef walked in. "I can tell you're all feeling just _great..._"

"Peachy..." Skipper sighed.

"Livin' the dream!" Johnny Cage now spoke genuinely with a smirk, taking the brief moment to stop making out with Erissare just to say that.

"Today, I want you to welcome _four _new contestants!"

"There are already forty of us here!" Rexy commented. "Are you trying to keep us here _forever_?"

Chris snapped his fingers in disappointment. "Dammit! They know!"

"Un-fucking-believabl-, who _are _they this time?.." Drew asked Chris in frustration.

"Everyone, I'd like you meet...Tommy Wiseau!"

"Good morning, everyone, huh!? Haha.." The man in question spoke in his 'Louisiana' accent, which was actually more of an Eastern European one. He ended in a weird laugh, which made no sense whatsoever in its placement.

Tommy had long black hair, wore a black shirt with black pants which somehow still didn't match him, and to boot, he had a football in his hand.

"Um..." Caesarius began, puzzled as all hell by that guy.

"How is everybody doing, huh? Oh by the way, how is your sex life?" He asked Chris.

"Just _fine_...Got some footage I can give to you of one of the earlier episodes..."

"NO!" Everyone shouted simultaneously.

"Ah, no, is okay.." Tommy graciously declined like the God he is. "I has plenty of football porn in collection, yes?" He finished, not at all making it clear if it was a question or not.

"Please be on the Gophers. Please be on the Gophers. Please be on the Gophers." Kyle prayed.

"I like him." Drew openly admitted. "I like him, I fucking like him, the dude's hilarious! And already less annoying than Johnny Cage."

"Hey!" Johnny Cage exclaimed.

"You would like him, street urchin..." King Julien growled. "You two can have a tea party in the gutter together!"

"Oh, right.." Drew rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, Johnny! I forgot there's someone that's ten _times _as annoying as you.."

"THANK YOU!" Skipper yelled, glad someone else realized it.

"Up next, we have Padawan Ahsoka Tano! Now, space time screwed up again, but hey! It'll be nice to have an actual Jedi!"

"Hey!" Luke yelled.

"Not like it'll help those weaklings…" Chef chuckled.

Vader froze as his former apprentice walked in. "Hello..." She greeted, a bit nervous.

Drew noticed Vader's discomfort as she and Tommy Wiseau joined their new comrades. Ahsoka joined the Bass, and Tommy the Gophers.

"Damn.." Duncan spoke as he nodded in approval at the second new contestant. "I could deal without the creepy football dude, but _her _I could get behind.."

Ahsoka froze at that. "You're not my type, you know that right skullboy?"

"Oh, where oh _where _have I heard that one before?.." Duncan spoke to himself, a playful smirk still on his face.

"Every girl on Earth?" Ahsoka responded.

"Ooh, hard to get.. Just how I like it." Duncan replied, the smirk still there.

"Up next, we have a _new _lion joining us!" Chris announced.

"Think they'll talk this time?" Owen Grady whispered to Kung Lao.

"Uh, hi.." Adia introduced, just as nervous as Ahsoka was.

"Well, ask and you shall receive.." Kung Lao slyly answered as he rested his feet on the table nonchalantly.

"Welcome, Miss..." Caesarius began, not knowing her name.

"Adia." Adia introduced with a polite grin. "I don't know exactly what this is about, but I was promised something if I competed, and there was something about 'Producers', or-"

"Yup." Luke commented. "Sounds like pretty much everyone here. Forget Shao Kahn. The _Producers _are the real gods here..."

Onaga simply rolled his eyes.

"'Shao Kahn'.. Please.. He is nothing more than a-"

"A more sufficient Emperor of Outworld?" Shao Kahn cut in, which only fueled the Dragon King's anger.

"ONE more word!" Onaga warned. "_Just _one!"

"What have.. I walked into?.." Adia widened her eyes.

"You have no idea.." Drew told her, leading her to his group. "Just stay close to us, we'll fill you in on shit, and you'll be fine.."

Adia was hesitant, but followed anyways. He seemed like the best option at the moment.

"Last and least," Chris chuckled. "We have Kylie."

Both teams were surprised when a little girl walked in. She resembled Kyle greatly, with the same red hair and green eyes. She was around nine years old, by the looks of it…

She appeared kind of nervous, actually. "Um...hi..." She said timidly.

"All of you nervous, huh. Like why you nervous?" Tommy Wiseau cut in. "Like be for _real_.. Be like method actor.. Go to the beyond."

"What the hell is this guy _on_?" Heather asked with a cocked brow.

Jack stopped for a moment. "Wait..." He began, realizing something. Was Chris _seriously _going to put a little _girl_ through the same torture they all received?

Zillum narrowed his eyes, glaring daggers at Chris. He was already fearing for this girl's safety…

"You can't bring a little _girl _on this show!" Bridgette exclaimed with a scowl, appearing to be thinking the same thing. "I at least understand you doing this to _adults_, but to a _child_? That's just a new kind of sadistic.."

Kylie's eyes widened. "But...you told me you'd call some people to take me back home!" She said to Chris, obviously surprised.

"Oh, you'll just need to compete is all. Then you can go home." Chris chuckled dismissively.

Kylie narrowed her eyes a bit, obviously hurt at being lied to.

"Hey!" Duncan exclaimed, marching up to Chris before pulling him by the shirt. "_Not _cool, man! You get this girl back home, or I'll personally show you firsthand what they taught me in juvie!" He threatened, putting his fist near his face.

Zillum, and Jack also got up. In fact, even Caesarius joined them, followed by Shao _Kahn_..

"I care _not _for this feeble child," Shao Kahn began. "but if it means I get to bash _his _skull in!?" He asked, motioning to Chris. "I'll _gladly _aid your cause.." He finished with a wicked smirk.

"Reality's often disappointing." A voice said unexpectedly. At that moment, a massive, muscular alien with purple skin walked in. "You said you needed my help, McLean?" He asked Chris.

"Yeah! They're messing up my hair!" Chris exclaimed.

"I'll show you messed up hair-" Jack began, before Onaga yanked him away from Chris, followed by Duncan, and finished by a punch to Shao Kahn's face after that.

"RAH!" Shao Kahn yelled, before he tackled Onaga to the ground. The two scrambled back and forth, raining punches on the other, before they were mysteriously teleported back to their seats.

"The Producers told me you and the Clown might need help." Thanos chuckled, having used the space stone to separate the two. "I'm here to balance your predicament out."

"Good..." Chris said, fixing his hair. "Alright, Kylie, Ahsoka, you're with the Bass. Adia, Tommy, with the Gophers."

"_Yes_!" Drew exclaimed in excitement, both because he thought Tommy was hilarious, and also because Adia seemed genuinely likable right off the bat.

Kylie seemed on the verge of tears by this point. As the others got up, Zillum turned to her. "It's alright little one..." He sighed, motioning for her to follow him and his comrades to the table.

"Welcome to the team." Luke said to Adia with a smile.

"Oh, uh.." Adia grinned. "Thanks."

"You'll like it here." Drew grinned. "Well, uh.. Except when there's challenges.. and Onaga.. and unexpected sex in cabins.. and- y'know what? Nevermind.."

"Ignore him..." Blue chuckled. "Our leader got rammed by a train of a fat guy two weeks ago, among other things..."

"Leader?!" King Julien and Shao Kahn exclaimed in surprise.

Shao Kahn looked down at King Julien,

"Tread carefully, mortal.. What 'realm' could you possibly reign over?"

"Madagascar! The _greatest _realm!" King Julien proclaimed.

"Don't make me laugh.." Shao Kahn responded, simply shrugging it off.

Drew looked at Blue rather seriously now, before he asked,

"You really think _I'm _the leader of this team? Why?"

"Because you've proven time and again that you care about this time? You've proven to smarter and braver than many here. You listen to what your teammates have to say, and you're _not _that guy." Lee explained, pointing to Shao Kahn, who was glaring at Onaga.

"Well, I.." Drew grinned, rubbing the back of his head. "As much as I appreciate the compliment, I can't really claim I'm the leader.. We _all _are! As cheesy as that shit sounds.." He muttered at the end with a chuckle.

"That's why..." Vader finally shrugged. "You're modest. You accept responsibility. You're definitely better than most of the officers I've worked with in the past..."

"I think I'm gonna like this team already.." Adia smiled, looking at Drew, who couldn't help but smile back.

"Yeah! Team is happy, haha!" Tommy Wiseau laughed. "Team football game! Who up for?" He asked, before he tossed the football up and caught it, preparing to throw to somebody.

"Heads up!" Tommy exclaimed, before he chucked the football and hit Johnny Cage in the face, breaking his sunglasses. "Oh.. Tough luck, huh?"

Meanwhile, on the Bass, Kylie sat with the rest of her team, noticeably quiet.

Finally, Duncan crossed his arms and asked angrily,

"Well since I can't even punch you in the face, are we gonna start this stupid challenge or _what_?"

"Yup!" Chris snickered. "We're going to do a..._singing _contest!" Chris declared.

"By the Elder Gods.. He _must _be joking.." Liu Kang said while shaking his head.

"He is not, Liu Kang.. You should know that by now.." Kung Lao added on.

"La la la.. There, I'm done." Duncan spoke, before standing up and preparing to walk out of the cafeteria.

"No-one ever said you would have to compete..." Thanos pointed out. "However, if you refuse to be up for the challenge...one night solitary confinement in the boat house."

"Oh, oh _I _see.." Duncan nodded angrily, looking over at Chris. "This is a _prison_, now! Isn't it!?"

"Maybe..." Chris snickered.

"Is it just me," Harold began, talking to no one in particular. "Or has Chris gone from like.. dickhead host, to like.. psycho murderer?"

"Maybe..." Chef snickered.

He turned to Joker, who was in the kitchen, working on some new torture devices. "You got the Iron Maiden ready for the Medieval Torture Challenge?"

"Iron Maiden?" Joker began with a chuckle. "Haha, _no_! Try Iron Maiden, _combined _with the guillotine! On paper it may not sound like it works, but after killing many intern- I mean.. after having the interns _test _them.. it _works_! Hahahahaha!"

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"So..." Carandial began. "Who's singing?"

"Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn.." Bill began with a confident grin. "but I _did _have the best voice in-"

"NO-one cares!" Owen Grady spat.

"Hey!" Dale exclaimed, looking as if he was defending Bill. "That's _my _job!"

"I actually got a song.." Jack suggested, catching everyone by surprise.

"You...can sing?" Zillum chuckled.

"This I gotta see!" Skipper laughed.

"Same here." DJ chuckled.

Jack walked forward, and took a deep breath.

He snapped his fingers, and out of nowhere, music began to play.

"What the-" Owen Grady began, before Jack suddenly spoke.

"_I never thought hyenas essential..._" Jack began, sounding _eerily _like Jeremy Irons.

"No King! No King! Dadadadadad- Oh.. Sorry.." Drew chuckled.

Jack flipped Drew off.

"_They're crude, and _unspeakably _plain.._"

He grinned at Duncan and ZIllum. "_But maybe they've a glimmer of potential...if allied to my vision and brain!_"

Zillum cocked a brow at that, while Duncan rested his chin on his hand. This would definitely take awhile for all the auditions.. He had to admit, though, if sounded very close to the original. So there was at least that.

A sudden burst of drums caught everyone off guard, and the sky turned green!

"_I know that your powers of retention_

_Are as disgusting as Bill's backside!_"

"Wha- hey!" Bill exclaimed.

"Hahahahaha!" Dale laughed at his friend.

"_But thicc as you are,_" Jack winked at Kyle. "_PAY ATTENTION!_"

He circled the teams "_My words are a matter of pride!_"

He turned to Johnny Cage. "_It's clear from your vacant expression, the lights are not all on upstairs!_"

"Suck a dick, dude!" Johnny Cage flipped Jack off.

"_But we're talking _teams _and successions!" _Jack declared, before whirling around, causing King Julien and Tommy Wiseau to jump.

"_Even you can't be caught unawares!_"

"What you mean, huh? Haha!" Tommy Wiseau said.

"_So prepare for the chance of a _lifetime! _Be prepared for sensational news!_" Jack sang as he danced around.

"_A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer!"_

"_And where do we feature?_" Blue asked suspiciously. Jack grinned.

"_Just listen to teacher! I know it sounds sordid! But you'll be rewarded when at last I've protected my Jew!_"

Kyle rolled his eyes. "_And injustice deliciously squared! Be prepared!" _Jack sang.

"_Yeah, be prepared! We'll be prepared!"_ Patrick spoke. "_Uh.. for what?" _

Jack smirked. "_For the fall of a king!_" He sang, a bit vaguely.

"_What, did he get the SUDS?" _Patrick asked.

Jack grabbed Patrick by the throat. "_No, fool! We'll vote him off! And Shao Kahn too!_"

Patrick clapped his hands for no reason, before he said,

"_Good idea! Who on a sandwich likes cheese? No cheese! No cheese! Lalalalala!" _

"_IDIOT!" _Jack yelled. "_We'll have cheese!_"

"_But you said, uh.. Wait.. What did you say?" _Patrick asked.

"_We'll have cheese! Gourmet food! Stick with me, and we'll get revenge on Chris, Chef, Joker and them all!_" Jack thundered, to which everyone in support of him said,

"_Yeah!" _

"_Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected, to take certain duties on board."_

Zillum crossed his arms, impressed by Jack basically giving them new allies in a way..

"_The future's littered with prizes. And though I remain addresse. The point that I must emphasize is," _

He leapt at King Julien, who screamed in terror when Jack thundered. "_YOU WON'T GET A WIN WITHOUT ME!_"

"Y'know, somehow I don't like this.." Adia spoke.

The skies turned red. "_SO PREPARE FOR THE COUP OF THE CENTURY! BE PREPARED FOR THE MURKIEST SCAM! METICULOUS PLANNING! TENACITY SPANNING! SEASONS OF EVIL! IS SIMPLY WHILE WE'LL BE KINGS UNDISPUTED, RESPECTED, SALUTED, AND WIN THE PRIZE WE DESERVE!_"

Zillum looked at Duncan with a shrug.

"_YES OUR TEETH AND AMBITIONS ARE BARED! BE PREPARED! YES OUR TEETH AND AMBITIONS ARE BARED! BE PREPARED!"_

"Watch us get copyrighted by Disney now.." Johnny Cage commented.

"So...Jack is first?" Zillum asked the team. No-one seemed to disagree…

On the Gopher's side, Robert E. Lee asked,

"Any volunteers?"

There was silence for a good several seconds, before Drew shrugged and threw it out there,

"I.. have a song about pencils."

Julien snorted. "Heh! After that kingly song, you're just gonna sing a song about _pencils_?" He laughed.

"Uh.. Yup." Drew answered with a shrug.

"Better than nothing, right?" Adia added optimistically.

Lee motioned for Drew to step forward. "Let's hear it."

Drew proceeded to pull out an acoustic guitar out of nowhere and tune it to a half step down.

"You ready for the entire fuckin' _roof _to blow off? Cause I'm about to rock your fuckin' _mind_.." Drew pointed to everybody.

"No.." Squidward said.

"Get on with it, mortal..." Shao Kahn snarled.

"Oof.. Tough crowd. Eh, Johnny?" Drew asked Johnny Cage.

"Huh? What?" Johnny Cage asked in confusion.

"Thought so. Anyways.. Two, three, and a fuckin' four." Drew began, before he strummed that sexy opening G Chord.

"_Pencils, I gotta use them in class.. Pencils, I wanna kick their ass.." _Drew began to sing.

"I already don't get it.. Yet at the same time I'm already addicted to it." Harold commented.

"_Pencils, they make me wanna cry.. Pencils, they make me wanna die.. Pencils, they make me wanna bleed. Pencils, they give me an STD.." _Drew continued to sing.

Patrick cheered.

As the song transitioned into its chorus with its F Chord, Adia couldn't help but tap her paw. As Harold said, while it didn't make sense, it _was _kinda catchy..

"_I fuckin' hate pencils, and King Julien, with all my heart! Pencils, they're tearin' me apart!" _Drew sang the chorus.

"I have to admit," Squidward began. "He's got skills."

"_Pencils, they kick me in the balls.. Pencils, they're everywhere in the halls.. Pencils, I see them every day.. Pencils, they make my soul decay.. Pens, they're a hell of a lot better than this.. Pencils, now them I'll never miss.."_

Drew then sang the chorus one final time, before with a final G Chord, the song was over.

"Pencils, bitch.." Drew spoke the final line, before shrugging.

That earned a laugh out of pretty much everyone.

"I have to say...looks like we have competition." Jack joked.

"Oh, sarcasm.. Wonderful." Drew spoke with a shrug, before handing the guitar off to King Julien and stepping out of the cafeteria.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kylie watched the latest song, though she wasn't paying that much attention. Tommy Wiseau had just finished singing.

"Okay, huh. So that was my future hit song, "_You Tear Me Apart, Lisa!"_. Good song, huh?" Tommy Wiseau asked with a nod.

King Julien sighed. "Better than the commoner's..."

"Oh, come on.." Adia rolled her eyes. "It wasn't _that _bad.."

"Ignore him..." Caesarius said to Adia. "It helps us...Or just tell him 'Mort's on your feet'."

Another guitar was heard, this time electric. Everyone turned to see Dale Gribble was strumming the guitar, wearing nothing but his cap, sunglasses, and an American Flag speedo.

Dale began to headbang as the opening riff of "Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent started to play.

"_Here I come again now, BABAY!" _Dale Gribble began to scream out with a cough in between due to his cigarette smoke. "_Like a DOG in heat!"_

Practically all the members of the Bass began to facepalm.

"Yeah, man!" Dale pointed to the 'audience'. "Time to rock this place!"

After strumming another loud chord, Dale began to sing the next lyrics,

"_Tell it's me by the clamor now, BABAY! I like to tear up the street.."_

As he sung the next lyrics, he turned his whole body around, the back of his speedo in plain sight.

"CUT!" Owen yelled. "For the love of God, there is a child here!"

"Oh, and I don't suppose you work for the _establishment_, do ya!?" Dale Gribble accused, his hands on his hips. He then began to look Owen up and down. "Uh huh.. Clean shaven.. Kinda good looking.. Trying to _fit in_! Pretty suspicious there, _Owen_.. Or should I say.. _Narco_!"

Zillum facepalmed at that. "Does anyone else have a song?"

"I do."

All eyes turned to Kylie. She obviously seemed nervous about saying that, but decided to go with it anyway.

"Well," Zillum said gently. "Go ahead, little one."

Kylie took the microphone, and after taking a deep breath, began to sing.

"_I've been staring at the edge of the water as long as I can remember. Never really knowing why..._"

"I don't even care that she's on the other team.." Drew spoke, having been lucky enough to miss Dale's performance, yet fortunate enough to catch Kylie's.

"The fact that this is her song makes her the winner." He shrugged with a grin.

Kylie looked around a bit as most of the campers sent her encouraging looks. After a few moments, she smiled, gaining confidence, and continued.

"_I wish I could be the perfect daughter. But I come back to the water. No matter how hard I try..._"

Her grin widened as she continued. "_Every turn I take. Every trail I track. Every path I make. Every road leads back. To the place I go where I cannot go. Where I long to be..._"

By the end of the song, most of the Bass, and indeed, many of the Gophers, began to clap. "That was great Kylie." Jack said with a smile as he gave the little girl a high five.

"A lot better than that last one..." Skipper snickered.

"Which isn't that hard..." Owen added.

"Figures.." Dale crossed his arms in a pouty way. "_Narcs_.." He coughed out under his breath.

"Who's next?" Vader asked the Gophers.

"Heh, if you all would let the king perform, we'd have won already!" Julien declared.

"Okay, Hotshot.." Drew challenged with a challenging smirk. "Then get up there.. Prove to us all you can perform better than that little girl just did.."

King Julien smirked, before he walked up in front of the teams.

"I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! YA LIKE TA?"

"MOVE IT!" A hundred lemurs suddenly yelled in the background, as the sky turned into darkness, and somehow, a disco ball formed over Julien's head.

"Son of a _bitch_…" Drew's jaw dropped, actually genuinely surprised and impressed.

Skipper screamed in pain as he slammed his face on the ground, hating when Ringtail started partying. It made him lose faith in humanity. And he was a _penguin!_

At the end of the song, King Julien took a bow.

"Thank you! Thank you! No_, _thank _you_!" He added as he flashed a victorious grin to Drew and Bridgette.

"That fucker.." Drew mumbled to Bridgette. "He was _actually _good.."

"You're telling _me_.." Bridgette widened her green eyes, probably just as surprised.

As Julien left, Skipper smirked, deciding to upstage Julien.

"_Ba-da-da-ba-ba-ba-ba...Ba-da-da-da-da! Skoodely doodely!_"

All eyes turned to Skipper as he immediately began to sing his own song.

In fact, it was just as catchy as Julien's…

"Well then..." Carandial commented. "It seems Julien has competition."

"Hey!" Julien protested.

"Yawn!" Randy Marsh exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Where's the booze, and _where's _the hot chicks!?"

"Right there!" Julien pointed at Kitana, to everyone's surprise.

"Excuse me?..." Kitana asked with a cocked brow, her steel fans beginning to open up.

"Uh oh.." Drew widened his eyes. "He's fucked…"

As Kitana chased off a screaming King Julien, Skipper continued to sing.

"_I remember everything! This bird can sing! Now I've got my marbles back! I'm ready to attack!_"

He began to dance. "_I know my name, and I've got your number! Overcame what you put me under! Your voice may be pretty, but keep your flippers off my city!_"

"Is this the part where we start kicking?" Mr. Krabs asked Patrick.

"Kicking?!" Patrick exclaimed. "I wanna do some kicking!"

With that, he kicked Shao Kahn.

"AGH!" Shao Kahn yelled in anger as he felt a slight annoyance in his leg, before turning towards Patrick with literal bloodlust in his eyes. "Foolish fat _MORTAL_!" Shao Kahn shouted, before he stood up and attempted to kill the starfish.

There was a cloud of dust, and soon, everyone heard a loud, pained scream…

As the dust settled, Patrick...had somehow been stuck _through_ Shao Kahn's hammer, with his head now on top…

"Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on..." He said nonchalantly.

"HA! Hahaha!" Dale pointed and laughed at Patrick, literally slapping his knee.

"Idiot…" Onaga also couldn't help but mutter at the thought of Patrick kicking Shao Kahn.

"Attention campers..." Chris announced, before trailing off as he saw Kitana torturing Julien and Patrick now a hammer. "Singing contest in ten. I hope you've prepared some better material than the _last _contest..."

Blue shuddered at the memory of _that _incident. "Thanks for reminding us..."

"What happened last contest?" Kylie asked, not knowing what they were talking about.

"_Not _important!" Bill quickly cut Kylie off, before he shifted his eyes side to side in embarrassment.

"Well hey, don't _I _get a chance to-" Adia began, before Heather spoke up,

"_No_.. If we're gonna beat these losers, we _have _to get moving now.. The sooner we prepare and get more practice in, the _better_.. M'kay?" Heather asked with a fake grin.

"We've been preparing...Miss pole up her butt." Erissare pointed out.

"Um.. Who asked you?" Heather asked with her hands on her hips and a mock thoughtful expression.

"Your flat ass and plastic tits." Erissare replied. "How much did your poor parents pay for those breast implants?"

"None of your _business_! That's how much they were.." Heather rolled her eyes. "Bigger than yours will ever be.."

"At least mine are natural..." Erissare replied.

"So..." Vader began. "You admit they _are _implants?"

"Yep!" Heather admitted with a grin. "As artificial as your lungs!"

"One word..." Vader snarled, activating his lightsaber. "Just one..."

"Why does he seem familiar..." Ahsoka commented to Duncan.

"Hmm.." Duncan began with a shrug. "Don't know.. What I do know is the ratings will go up once you find out. Knowing Chris, that's why he brought you here."

Duncan then chuckled, before smirking and adding,

"Gotta say.. Glad he _did_.."

"Like I said, bones," Ahsoka replied with a smirk of her own. "You're not my type..."

"Yeah, yeah.." Duncan rolled his eyes with a playful smirk. "'Not your type'. Am I the type you see yourself chilling by the docks with? Say 7:30 tonight?"

"Perhaps..." Ahsoka replied.

"Hey," Duncan tapped her on the shoulder with a grin. "I'll go raid Chef's pantry, it'll be _fun_.. Just wanna show you it doesn't have to be _total _hell here.."

"We shall see..." Ahsoka replied with a grin.

Adia sighed upon realizing she wouldn't get to sing a song of her own. Drew was the only one who actually saw this, and it caused him to frown.

Sure this place sucked.. But she at least deserved to feel a _bit_ welcomed here..

He'd make sure to take care of that.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Alright Wawanakwa!" Chris began. "Each team gets three songs! Whoever the judges like the most wins! Introducing your judges, DJ Chef, MC Thanos, and of course, the Clown Prince of Crime, Joker!"

"Thank you, _thank _you.." The Joker bowed, before sitting back in his chair and relaxing his feet on the judging table, wrapping an arm around Thanos.

"Thanie, old boy," The Joker began. "This is sure to be _quite _a show! Wouldn't you agree?"

"Oh yes," Thanos said with a smirk. "Indeed it will. And Chris has a plan for what happens after the judges decide..."

"Oh _does _he now?" The Joker asked while mugging the camera, mocking absolute shock, even though he knew the whole thing. "And what does Chris have planned?"

"You shall see..." Thanos stated. "It will help to balance things out a bit..."

"Oh!" The Joker laughed. "You said that in the _movie_! Well done! I just hope it's more balanced than the DCEU is-"

The Joker cut himself off, before nervously chuckling,

"Oh, shit.. Wasn't supposed to say that, was I? _Anyways_, let's get this show on the road!"

"Up first..." Chef began, feigning looking through a book. "The tuxedo seagull!"

"PENGUIN!" Skipper growled.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU LITTLE BABY!"

Skipper rolled his eyes, before walking out, and beginning to sing 'We are the Penguins', which he sang earlier in the episode.

By the end of it, the audience, which included the campers not in the competition, gave him their fair share of applause.

"Well _done_, bird boy!" The Joker clapped. "I'll give that one an _eight_!"

"Seven point five." Thanos spoke. "Pitch was off slightly and you messed up on the dance. But still, well done."

Chef had to be slapped awake, because he had fallen asleep.

"FIVE!" He yelled suddenly. "Next!"

The Gophers were up next, and Sub-Zero walked up onto the stage. He stood there for a couple of seconds, before the beat to 'Ice Ice Baby' began to play.

What the audience witnessed was a spectacle that saw Sub-Zero rapping the song, and providing visuals utilizing his own ice.

By the time it finished, the audience cheered, seeing it as a solid performance.

"That was Sub - but kind of Dom - Zero with Under Pressure by Queen- Oh uh, I mean.. Ice Ice Baby!" The Joker announced, before giving his verdict. "Hmm.. eight and a half!"

"Perfectly balanced, as all things should be." Thanos declared. "Nine."

"And _Chef_?" The Joker asked, looking across the table.

"Oh what the hell." Chef shrugged. "Ten! Well done, brotha!"

"I thank you.." Sub-Zero spoke, before he gave a Lin Kuei style bow and walked off the stage.

"And next..." Chef began. "Oh joy...it's the dom of the resident gay couple..."

Jack walked onto the stage, before he began to sing 'Be Prepared'. By the end of it, The Joker was leaned back in his seat.

"_Wow_!" The Joker exclaimed. "That was LGB_eauTful_! Haha!" The Joker laughed, before he paused and looked at his script.

"_Really_?" The Joker whisper yelled. "_That's _the joke you gave me? Unbelievable.. Serves me right for hiring a Jewish writer.."

The Joker cleared his throat, before presenting,

"Ten! Well _done_!"

"Agreed… Ten. Well done, little one." Thanos affirmed, while Chef sighed.

"Nine point five. Too pitchy."

Jack bowed, before walking offstage.

By the end of the competition, the two teams were tied. Drew was going last.

As Drew peaked out from behind the curtains with guitar in hand, he got a good look at everybody..

The judges, his girlfriend Bridgette, a scarred yet still alive King Julien, and the whole audience in general. He always wanted to be a musician, but was this Pencil song _really _gonna cut it?

Something then caught his eye..

It was Adia. She looked _really _down in the crowd.. And in a moment where she was supposed to live it up and have a good time!

She looked very upset she didn't get to try out earlier.. What with Heather rushing everybody around and the team getting into senseless arguments.

"And next up.. the poor kid from Missouri, and a _hater _of pencils! Drew!" The Joker introduced, as the curtains opened themselves up.

Drew widened his eyes, before he saw that there was no other choice.. He couldn't back out now.

However, as he walked towards the microphone, he got an _idea_..

He made sure to walk right into the microphone chords, before he pretended to trip on them and fall down.

The audience gasped, and even the judges.

"Drew!" Bridgette exclaimed, beginning to rush over to his aid.

"Ooh!" The Joker cringed. "Quite a spill there, wouldn't you say, Thanos?"

"Indeed..." Thanos replied. "Let us hope he does not get a Splinter..."

"I- I'm fine, Bridge.." Drew spoke as he rubbed his leg, pretending that there was something wrong with it.

"I'm afraid the Gophers are either gonna have to find a replacement, or it's _forfeit _for them.." The Joker shook his head.

Drew narrowed his eyes, before he shouted out,

"Adia! I nominate _Adia_!"

Adia widened her eyes, before she asked herself,

"Wait, huh?"

"Hmm.." The Joker shrugged. "Chris, now what are the rules here? Do they nominate who they think is best?"

"Eh," Chris shrugged. "Let the guy have his fun...Even I can be merciful once in a while..."

However, he winked at Joker, showing he had a plan.

The Joker chuckled, before he cleared his throat and announced,

"_Okay _then! Miss Adia, come on up!"

Adia hesitantly walked up on the stage with a stunned expression, before as Bridgette helped up Drew, Adia said,

"You didn't have to _do _that.. Your leg doesn't look _that _bad-"

"I did it because I _wanted _to.." Drew grinned. "Heather was a bitch.. You deserve your chance in the spotlight. Have a wonderful time and make the most of it.."

Adia smiled, before she nuzzled Drew thankfully.

"Thank you.." She softly spoke, before Bridgette began to walk with Drew off the stage. Adia smirked, however, and added, "_However_.."

"However?" Drew asked as he and Bridgette turned back around.

"I can't exactly perform this song without an _awesome _friend to do it with me.." Adia explained. "It's a duet that I've always loved."

Drew and Bridgette looked to each other, Drew blushing with pride that she would think of him as a friend. Trying to think of what to say, Drew asked her,

"Well, what duet is it? I have my guitar.."

"What's taking so long up there?!" Chef yelled, causing them to jump. "Let's get a move on! I don't have all day!"

Drew narrowed his eyes, before Adia whispered the name of the song in his ear, to which he widened his eyes before grinning.

"Adia.." Drew began. "We are about to blow the _roof _off this damn place with the greatest duet they've ever seen.."

Bridgette rushed back to sit down, before Drew tuned his guitar to E Standard, and with the tap of his foot, began to play the familiar melody.

Adia gave a thankful grin once again, before she started singing, ready to reveal her voice to the world,

"_Can you feel the love tonight? The peace the evening brings… The world for once, in perfect harmony.. With all its living things!" _

The audience was taken by complete surprise by that. It seemed Adia had an absolutely beautiful voice. Even Drew had to widen his eyes with how good it was. He damn near missed his part.

"_So many things to tell her.." _Drew began to sing. "_But how to make her see. The truth about my past? Impossible… She'd turn away from me."_

Kyle leaned against Jack's shoulder, unable to help himself. This might have been the best moment on the island.

Nearly, Zillum wrapped an arm around Gwen's shoulder. It seemed pretty much every couple was taking the chance to enjoy the moment.

"HEY!" An intern yelled at Erissare and Johnny Cage. "Keep it PG-13, folks!"

"Fuck you, asshole!" Johnny Cage flipped off the intern as he was already at second base. "Don't spoil the moment!"

"Yeah!" Erissare protested as well.

"_He's holding back, he's hiding…" _Adia began to sing her solo part with a happy grin. "_Why won't he be the King I know he is? The King I see insiiiide?"_

Duncan now began to yawn, before wrapping an arm around Ahsoka, having one eye partially open with a smirk to see what she'd do.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes, and leaned on his shoulder, before replying. "You happy now, skullboy?"

"I dunno.." Duncan smirked. "Maybe if you kissed me, _then _maybe I'd tell you.."

Ahsoka sighed, and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't push your luck..."

"Fair enough.." Duncan chuckled. "Yeah, pretty satisfied."

Nearby, Liu Kang looked over at Kitana, to which she did the same. Their eyes met briefly, before suddenly they looked away.

Kung Lao, who was seated behind them suddenly commented,

"Oh, just make out already.. Stop kidding yourself, Chosen One.."

Seeing Kung Lao's smirk, Liu Kang gave an annoyed scowl. That is, until he saw a strange look in Kitana's eyes.

"Kitana?.." Liu Kang breathed. Kitana's eyes were dilated, as if absolutely entranced by the Shaolin Monk.

It appeared the Princess had taken Kung Lao's advice.

Kitana suddenly embraced Liu Kang, leaning against his shoulder. This froze Liu Kang, who could do nothing besides return the embrace.

"Thank you.." Kitana spoke. "For all you've done.. For freeing me from Outworld, liberating Edenia, and everything until now.."

Liu Kang smiled, before he brought Kitana closer, and watched as the song hit its peak.

"_CAN you feel the LOVE tonight?" _Drew and Adia both belted out in a stunning harmony, both looking at each other with smiles. "_You needn't look too far! Stealing through the night's uncertainties! Love is where they are!"_

Drew continued to strum the guitar, before at long last, the final chord was strummed, ending the song.

The whole audience gave a standing ovation, sending praise all around!

The Joker was holding back tears, before he blew into a tissue.

"My goodness.." The Joker sniffed. "It reminds me _so _much of my Harley and how I haven't _slapped _her in so long.. Truly _beautiful_! Ten!"

"In all my years of conquest...it was never fun. But I'll tell you now...I enjoyed that. Very, very much...Ten."

"Eh, too mushy. But still a ten, because I gotta cash my paycheck." Chef sighed.

"And thus..." Chris began, wiping a tear away. "We have our winners! The Killer Gophers!"

The Gophers all began to cheer, even some of the Bass giving a final round of applause for that final performance.

"You hear that, Adia?" Drew smiled. "You did it.."

"No, Drew.." Adia returned the smile before nuzzling him. "_We _did.. Thank you. For being there for me when I needed it most."

"Anytime.." Drew softly spoke, before giving her a hug.

Bridgette approached Drew with a smile, before kissing him on the lips.

"That was _beautiful_, babe.." Bridgette complemented with 'dreamy' eyes.

"A step up from pencils, right?" Drew laughed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

"Yes!" King Julien yelled obnoxiously a few feet away, before groaning. "My booty...it still hurts..." He mumbled, covered in a body cast.

"I got this.." Adia grinned at Drew, seeing itas her turn to repay the favor.

Adia turned to King Julien, before letting out a massive roar, scaring him to death!

Julien immediately began running off, screaming like a girl. However, it was only then that they noticed Mort holding onto Julien's feet.

"Huh.." Adia frowned.

"I count it.." Drew chuckled, before looking to Adia. "You did great today.."

"And hey!" Bridgette grinned. "Feel free to sit with us anytime in the mess hall! Not that the food's good, but y'know.."

"I'd love that.." Adia accepted.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack, Duncan, Zillum, Scorpion and Sub-Zero were heading towards the boathouse, intending to discuss their next move.

"You guys think we'll have a chance this time?" Jack asked the others, referring to Onaga.

"Who knows.." Duncan sighed. "If we know for _sure _everyone votes him off, then we'll _know _if something's up!"

"We just don't know, unfortunately..." Zillum sighed. "We can't risk openly opposing him so soon. He may intimidate the others into siding with him, and likely have Chris vote one of us off in retaliation..."

"I don't care.." Scorpion spoke in his brimstone voice. "_Let _him intimidate them! I'm still voting him off, and if he has an issue with it, he can deal with _me_.."

Jack thought for a moment, before saying. "Perhaps tonight could be the night? He doesn't have invincibility..."

Zillum looked at the others, silently asking if they had any objections.

However, all five were caught off guard when they heard a sound nearby…

It sounded almost like...crying…

Jack looked around, before he noticed Kylie was sitting on the dock by the boathouse. They could hear her sniffling softly…

"Might I suggest something?" Sub-Zero whispered to the others.

Zillum nodded for him to continue.

"Well.. What if we found out what's wrong with her? Make her feel more at home?" Sub-Zero suggested.

"If having her here is a bad idea, then why don't we vote her off and send her home to her family?" Scorpion suggested on the contrary.

"That may be a good idea..." Jack began, though his instincts told him that this would be a bad idea… He didn't know why, but something told him such an idea wouldn't be in Kylie's best interests…

Taking a deep breath, Jack walked forward, and sat beside Kylie.

"Are you okay, Kylie?"

Kylie shook her head. "I'm just...scared..."

"Hey, listen.." Duncan softly began, trying to keep her comfortable. "We all have an idea to help you out.."

"What?" Kylie croaked as Jack pulled her into a gentle hug.

"Well.." Duncan began. "We could all work as a team to vote you off this island, and get you away from creepy Uncle Chris and his dangerous challenges! You can go home to your _family_.." Duncan grinned.

Kylie's eyes widened at the last part.

"No!" She whimpered. "Don't send me back there! Please don't..."

"Woah woah _woah_!" Duncan's eyes widened, feeling a bit guilty. "I'm sorry.. I didn't know you wanted to _compete_.."

"No, it's not that..." Kylie replied softly. "It's my parents..."

Zillum froze, and looked at Kylie. "Your parents, Kylie?"

Kylie nodded. "They...they hate me...If I do anything wrong, they..."

She sniffled, before replying. "They hurt me..."

"They _hurt _you, child?" Scorpion's eyes widened.

Kylie nodded. "They sent me here to get the money for them...They bribed Chris...They told me to act like I didn't know what was happening..."

"Those wretched _excuses _for parents!" Scorpion exclaimed, his Hellfire beginning to actually ignite again.

"Scorpion.." Sub-Zero spoke, which caused him to snap out of it, upon seeing her face.

With a sigh, Scorpion knelt down and softly spoke,

"I am sorry, little one.. I…" Scorpion looked down. "I was abused by my _own _father as well.."

Kylie's eyes widened. "Does...does it ever get better? What did...you do?"

"I decapitated him with a kunai.." Scorpion bluntly answered.

Kylie looked at him for a moment, before asking. "Can you teach me how to use one?"

Scorpion looked at Kylie, slightly taken aback by the question. Looking to see that she was serious, Scorpion stood to his feet, motioning for her to do the same.

"I will teach you.. how to _defend_ yourself.. I will teach you how to escape your parents' tyranny, so that you may carve out a path of peace and prosperity.." Scorpion said.

"I will _not_ teach you how to murder!" Scorpion added. "You're a sweet little girl.. Bloodshed is the last life you ever want to he apart of.. I learned that the _hard _way.."

Kylie nodded solemnly, before replying. "Thank you, Master Scorpion."

"We're all here for you, Kylie," Zillum declared. "We'll make sure no-one hurts you again."

"That is a _promise_.." Sub-Zero added.

"Damn _straight_!" Duncan nodded.

Scorpion looked out towards the lake, before he looked down at Kylie.

"Get back to your quarters, young one.. It is surely past your curfew by now.. Get some rest."

Kylie smiled, and after bowing slightly, she ran off back to the cabins.

As she headed off, Jack looked down. "She doesn't deserve what's happened to her. But hopefully we can help her. She needs us..."

"And she'll _have _us.." Sub-Zero assured.

"Isn't.. the ceremony about to start? At the campfire?" Duncan asked.

"Doesn't matter.." Scorpion replied. "When she gets her white ball of sugar, I'll bring it to her later.. She needs some rest. I can tell."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Screaming Bass, there are twenty one campers here, and only twenty balls of diabetes." Chris began. "Now, tonight, we're gonna do things a little differently."

He motioned to Thanos. "The camper who does not receive a marshmallow, instead of walking down the Dock of Shame, will now be _snapped _out of existence, until the show's finale."

"WHAT?!" The Bass exclaimed in shock and horror at that.

"Is that even _legal?_" Kyle asked Mr. Krabs, since Jack, Zillum and Duncan were late.

"Wha- _Legal_? Of course I paid me taxes-" Mr. Krabs exclaimed upon being talked awake by Kyle. "Oh.. It's just you."

Kyle rolled his eyes, before he froze. Wait…if the person voted off got _snapped _out of Existence…

"Oh no..." He muttered, realizing what was going to happen.

The other Bass members all had similar expressions. In the absence of three of the most influential members, the Bass agreed to eliminate Kylie, and send her home. This...however, meant that they might have just sent the little girl to her death!

Onaga sat alone with his arms crossed, completely nonchalant in appearance.

"What did we miss?" Jack asked Kyle as he sat down beside his boyfriend.

"They're..." Kyle began. "They're going to remove the camper voted off from _existence._"

Jack's eyes widened, and then he realized something. "Who...did you vote for?"

"Kylie..." Kyle said nervously. This caused several other Bass to look away guiltily as well.

"I thought I'd send her home, alright?" Johnny Cage shrugged, being the first to speak up. "She didn't seem like she belonged here.. Especially after what's happened through the past couple _weeks_.. Didn't want a little _girl _getting hurt, y'know?"

"We were just trying to help her." Owen added. "Until that prick dropped the bombshell about Thanos..."

Jack looked down, shaking his head in frustration. Zillum took a deep breath, trying to keep calm as well. This wasn't good… Not at all…

Especially after what they promised Kylie...

"I nominate myself!" Duncan exclaimed, standing up. "Yep! I tampered with the votes! Fuck you, Thanos! Now snap me!" Duncan awaited the inevitable.

However, he was met with only chuckling. "Reality is often disappointing..."

"Gotta admit..." Chris began. "We almost believed you for a second..."

He turned to Thanos. "Go ahead, let's get it over with."

"No!" Several people yelled, before Dale sighed.

"Oh what _now_?" Dale asked as he attempted to light his cigarette.

Thanos snapped his fingers.

For a split second, Jack was frozen, before he narrowed his eyes. "What...did you _do?!_"

Thanos simply smirked, causing Jack to run towards the cabins, praying Kylie was okay.

"You're _sick_!" Duncan exclaimed. "You know that, Chris?"

"A little," Chris replied with a smirk.

However, to their surprise, a few moments later, Jack was walking back, Kylie in tow.

"Wait...what?" Chris began, surprised the little girl was still here.

"Wait.." DJ began. "You mean that _wasn't _supposed to happen?" He asked, noticing Chris' dumbfounded face.

"If it isn't Kylie.." Duncan spoke. "Then who-"

"_Me_.." Onaga cut Duncan off as he rose to his feet, already coughing due to feeling the inevitable effects of Thanos' snap on the way.

"What?!" Jack began, stopping his tracks. He did not expect _this_!

"Um, I'll second that," Chris added. "What?!"

"_Foolish _host!" Onaga roared. "At first I actually _believed _in your pathetic little '_deal_' from behind the scenes.."

"What...what are you talking about?" Chris began nervously, remembering full well what that deal was.

"You know _exactly _what I'm talking about!" Onaga exclaimed. "I have since realized, if _you _were stupid enough to bring Shao _Kahn _back onto this show? You could _not _be trusted.."

Onaga looked among the entire Bass team, before he added,

"I destroyed your votes.. I replaced them all with _me_.."

"Why?" Chris asked. "I thought we were homies, though! I mean, I thought the Shao Kahn thing would be funny, but-"

"But _nothing_!" Onaga yelled. "And you are no _friend _of mine.."

He then coughed once more, kneeling to his knees upon feeling weaker.

The Dragon King looked to the Bass, before he gave his final feelings,

"I didn't always want to rule over the realms.. I was once a peaceful yet _firm _ruler of Outworld.. Shao Kahn _betrayed _me! He was my General at the time.. He mistook my kindness for weakness, and he.. He _killed _me.."

Onaga coughed once more, now on his hands and knees, taking in labored breaths.

"Upon my resurrection, I- I was _corrupted_! My mind, my _soul_.. It was all gone.. I wanted revenge, and I played Shao Kahn's game to get it! Not only his game, but _Chris' _game as well!"

He looked up the best he could, before he uttered words no one _ever _thought they would hear him say,

"I'm sorry.."

Those were the words of a dying man, but also the words of a man who now knew that he had lost his way from who he originally was.

The other Bass remembered what Onaga had done, and while many would have cheered this moment before, they couldn't help but admit that they did feel some kind of pity for the Dragon King…

But, at least now, this hellish game would be easier, and they wouldn't have to worry.

"Zillum.. _Jack_.." Onaga called out. "Come over here.."

Jack and Zillum walked forward, to listen to what he had to say. Zillum couldn't help but wonder what their greatest enemy would actually say to them…

"_Eliminate _Shao Kahn! It isn't over- AGH!" Onaga was cut off when pain surged through his body; prompting him to let out a roar that echoed throughout the whole island.

His whole body now began to feel lighter and lighter.. Slowly, in his final seconds, Onaga stared out weakly as he dissipated into mere dust, blowing away in the wind.

Zillum watched the dust go, before he turned to Jack.

"He's right," the Mortalitas declared firmly, before turning to the others. "It's not over..."

A little ways away, another Emperor of Outworld watched the events unfolding at the bonfire ceremony.

Said Emperor could only smirk, before he stalked away into the night, the cogs of his scheming mind already in spin.


End file.
